MALE ATTYACHAAR: THE NEW EMOTIONAL ANGLE
In the last four years alone, over 1,23,497 women have been arrested under IPC Section 498A alone, without any evidence ,or investigation ; not for committing any crime under law, but only because they were related to a man. Madhu Kishwar, noted woman rights activist has admitted that this section of the law is highly misused, and that a large number who come to them i.e. Manushi are mother-in-laws and husbands who have been falsely implicated in cases of marital cruelty and dowry harassment. Feminist and renowned IPS officer Kiran Bedi acknowledges that many poor and illiterate Mother-in-laws and sister-in laws are falsely charged and these poor women are languishing in jails. It is a sad day in our history when the educated masses of our society are misusing these Laws for their own benefit and “Dowry Law “is no exception. It is one of the strongest Laws and anyone who is booked under this law has no choice but to spend time in jail.
It doesn’t sound plausible but yes, the Indian male can be at the receiving end too. There is an increasing feeling of dismay over the abuse which is meted out by woman who misuses this empowerment to their benefit. Increasing independence, freedom empowerment of women is all for the progress of the nation but where it is used on the flip side to settle scores or to just take an easy way out is wrong. This loophole is present and has been glaringly pointed out by the Honorable Supreme Court. It terms the Misuse of Section 498A As “Unleashing of a New Legal Terrorism on Innocent Husband’s family and Domestic Violence Act as ‘one of the most clumsily drafted law “.
Ms. Lisa Brar, leading standing council for U.T. remarks that there is a rampant misuse of the law; it is in fact used as a levering tool for negotiations. We need to bring safeguards to ensure the honest execution of this law .There is an increase in the associations all over the country which are being started to safeguard the rights of men. Recently, an association was started by ‘Peedth Mother-in-laws” to escape the wrath of their daughter-in-laws in Chandigarh and they had an overwhelming response on the first day! On the crossroads of Delhi there are little signboards which flash a number; advertising the fact that help will be given to males only who want to escape the wrath of these scorned women. This campaign is started by a supreme court lawyer , R P Chugh, a Supreme Court advocate who started a men's advocacy group Crime Against Man Cell aka Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Husbands way back in the 80s to take head on cases of 'false charges of dowry harassment and torture'.
This emotional attyachar is the new angle which is hitting the Indian society leading to an increase in divorce, marital problems affecting the next generation. When the MLA from Bholath, MR Sukhpal Khaira was asked this, he said, yes this law is being misused by the women in cities; rural girls of Punjab who are the main sufferers are ignorant of this law. He was all for the correct and truthful interpretation of the law.
It is essential that safeguards should be there where the law should not be used as leverage or as a bargaining chip. It is seen that a large number of girls which file cases under Punjab State Women Commission use this as a pretext to settle scores and to falsely implicate their in-laws.MRs Gurdev Kaur Sangha, Chairperson said that she sees an increase in the cases filed by woman who are misled by their lawyers to threaten, harass the in-laws in coercing them to payer higher divorce settlements and alimony.
Steps are being taken to safeguard the dignity of men who till now were the stronger sex but have been reduced to mere weaklings in this war of the sexes where law supports the weaker one. This loosely defined law has its loopholes and steps should be taken to ensure proper implementation.
Ravneet Sangha
Jalandhar
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I am an X- chromosome
I am an X- chromosome swimming upstream trying to edge out other X’s, (my girlie pals) to mate with the elusive godly Y. It’s a mystery, a mad-house of the jumble, the rat-race, the competitiveness and the frenzy to mate. We all try to outdo each other in this marathon but there is this sense of unease, a lingering feeling of something bad. Call it the feminine intuition, we have. This intuition serves me well and heeding to it, I stop in the upstream swim where time is of essence. Faint whispers, rumblings why I should not mate and realize my physical form seep to my consciousness and I go back to a conversation I had heard when I was still a part of the genes….She in her loud cackling voice was warning ,’Be careful ! Don’t give birth to a baby girl, when you conceive” “Dhyaan Rakhi...The first child should always be a boy, and then there is no tension, koi fikar nahi. Mrs .Sandhu warned her new NRI daughter in law. Giving birth to a baby girl was taboo and automatically ensured one of a life full of hassles from the minute she was born to the minute she married till she died.
Strange are the customs of progressive Punjab, when a girl is born, we do not rejoice, we lament over the birth. The minute the nurse comes out and announces that congratulations a baby girl is born, the smiles vanish and half-heartedly condolences are given masked under the fact that Lakshmi has come. So why is this deity falling short of our expectations? Or are we content to worship an idol but bur n the living, physical form as it does not bring us the God of Mammon? Parents, In-laws all have false smiles and the poor mother after her laborious child-birth wondered where she went wrong.Oh, this all happens only if we escape the monstrous Sex- Determination test. Punjab is dotted with countless fly- by the night clinics, quacks and midwives who for a paltry sum will tell whether the fetus is male or female. Even the savior of mankind the internet advertises these kits who for 50$ will help you at home. Is science a boon or a curse, I wonder? Then if I’m lucky to pass the first hurdle in this race called LIFE I’m given birth to. A real incident was narrated in hush tones hereby the spirits of a beautiful girl who was aborted and thrown to die where the carcasses of dead animals is thrown outside a village. A clearing house, if you please, but the little innocent baby was alive and the shrieking cries were heard by Dr. Harshindar Kaur who was passing by; she saw the most horrific sight where the baby was being eaten by rabid dogs.
And they, tell us to be born.
I still think whether it’s worth the struggle to be born, to be differentiated from the very moment one breaths. On my birth, from the mithai distributed to the announcements made everything is different. Money comes into play. No laddoos please, limited circle of people to distribute them and no fancy-shmancy lohri.Even when I’m growing up there is compromise on every step, clothes, food and always there is this realization of coming second. It is drilled into ‘her ‘that’ she is inferior and she is the weaker sex. I wonder who coined this term. What are we evaluating her? Physical strength or mental…. Or is it necessary to have muscles aka...To be stronger?
We are deprived of love, the circle of love which is what makes the world tick. Love is doled out in accordance with standings in the house; how many men in the house, and where the girl child comes in the sibling’s hierarchy…
I am growing up; trudging along school always on the guard against child molesters, pedophiles’, and the uncle ji’s who make us squirm by the so- improper touches and when we reach puberty hormones grow crazy. Even if we want platonic relationships they are misunderstood and long dying declarations are given professing love and if we scorn these we are burnt, slashed by a knife and the famous one acid is thrown by our lovers/Ranjhas of modern age Punjab.
Did I mention here, if I fall in love and heaven forbid if he is from another caste, we are lynched, shot killed burnt alive? Mr. Nilekani, a suggestion here please when you give us all a Unique Identity Number could you please tattoo the castes on the boy’s heads (North Indians) as love doesn’t seem to distinguish . I wonder if the, same caste blood is the same or different: one is a shade darker, thicker or thinner. The khap panchayats have a nose for this.
When I pass this hurdle if I marry when all the requisites of age, height, color of skin (has anyone ever heard of wheatish complexion??), dowry are met. Then the biggest litmus test comes, will I ever give birth to a male? I wonder why we forget the basic science lesson that it is the man’s doing and it’s him and him alone responsible for a baby boy/ baby girl. Countless times girls are aborted; mothers are killed, burnt or discarded for a fresher newer model to ensure the lineage. Why do we forget that woman, the creator who nourishes, provider the one who is the fulcrum of all life ; if she is decimated how will the species continue? Where do you think the extra woman are going to come, if all are killed; like the trend here? Common sense is uncommon in Punjab, Haryana where being a male, reproducing one makes one attain salvation…Over the years increasingly, a woman has to face sexual exploitation, molestation, rape, is subjected to heinous crimes, prostitution and is sold off bartered away.
All this doesn’t stop when one is older , older woman increasingly are preyed upon for their property, bludgeoned to death by servants, denied medical help by family as she is a burden on their finances and in many cases is left in one corner to die.
An interesting tradition comes into play in North India , where when a woman dies her shroud i.e. the clothes which she wears for her final journey are also given by her parents, absolving the in-laws of even the mere expense of her clothes. When did she stop being a burden, may I ask?
I am dejected, shattered, lie defeated in this circle of life which I beget and die for.
Every 26 minutes a woman was molested. Every 34 minutes a woman was raped. Every 42 minutes a woman was sexually harassed. Every 43 minutes a woman was kidnapped and every 93 minutes a woman was killed. Husbands murdered fourteen wives every day. Mind it, these are just the cases that were reported and recorded by the police.
Ravneet Sangha
ravneetsangha@hotmail.com
Strange are the customs of progressive Punjab, when a girl is born, we do not rejoice, we lament over the birth. The minute the nurse comes out and announces that congratulations a baby girl is born, the smiles vanish and half-heartedly condolences are given masked under the fact that Lakshmi has come. So why is this deity falling short of our expectations? Or are we content to worship an idol but bur n the living, physical form as it does not bring us the God of Mammon? Parents, In-laws all have false smiles and the poor mother after her laborious child-birth wondered where she went wrong.Oh, this all happens only if we escape the monstrous Sex- Determination test. Punjab is dotted with countless fly- by the night clinics, quacks and midwives who for a paltry sum will tell whether the fetus is male or female. Even the savior of mankind the internet advertises these kits who for 50$ will help you at home. Is science a boon or a curse, I wonder? Then if I’m lucky to pass the first hurdle in this race called LIFE I’m given birth to. A real incident was narrated in hush tones hereby the spirits of a beautiful girl who was aborted and thrown to die where the carcasses of dead animals is thrown outside a village. A clearing house, if you please, but the little innocent baby was alive and the shrieking cries were heard by Dr. Harshindar Kaur who was passing by; she saw the most horrific sight where the baby was being eaten by rabid dogs.
And they, tell us to be born.
I still think whether it’s worth the struggle to be born, to be differentiated from the very moment one breaths. On my birth, from the mithai distributed to the announcements made everything is different. Money comes into play. No laddoos please, limited circle of people to distribute them and no fancy-shmancy lohri.Even when I’m growing up there is compromise on every step, clothes, food and always there is this realization of coming second. It is drilled into ‘her ‘that’ she is inferior and she is the weaker sex. I wonder who coined this term. What are we evaluating her? Physical strength or mental…. Or is it necessary to have muscles aka...To be stronger?
We are deprived of love, the circle of love which is what makes the world tick. Love is doled out in accordance with standings in the house; how many men in the house, and where the girl child comes in the sibling’s hierarchy…
I am growing up; trudging along school always on the guard against child molesters, pedophiles’, and the uncle ji’s who make us squirm by the so- improper touches and when we reach puberty hormones grow crazy. Even if we want platonic relationships they are misunderstood and long dying declarations are given professing love and if we scorn these we are burnt, slashed by a knife and the famous one acid is thrown by our lovers/Ranjhas of modern age Punjab.
Did I mention here, if I fall in love and heaven forbid if he is from another caste, we are lynched, shot killed burnt alive? Mr. Nilekani, a suggestion here please when you give us all a Unique Identity Number could you please tattoo the castes on the boy’s heads (North Indians) as love doesn’t seem to distinguish . I wonder if the, same caste blood is the same or different: one is a shade darker, thicker or thinner. The khap panchayats have a nose for this.
When I pass this hurdle if I marry when all the requisites of age, height, color of skin (has anyone ever heard of wheatish complexion??), dowry are met. Then the biggest litmus test comes, will I ever give birth to a male? I wonder why we forget the basic science lesson that it is the man’s doing and it’s him and him alone responsible for a baby boy/ baby girl. Countless times girls are aborted; mothers are killed, burnt or discarded for a fresher newer model to ensure the lineage. Why do we forget that woman, the creator who nourishes, provider the one who is the fulcrum of all life ; if she is decimated how will the species continue? Where do you think the extra woman are going to come, if all are killed; like the trend here? Common sense is uncommon in Punjab, Haryana where being a male, reproducing one makes one attain salvation…Over the years increasingly, a woman has to face sexual exploitation, molestation, rape, is subjected to heinous crimes, prostitution and is sold off bartered away.
All this doesn’t stop when one is older , older woman increasingly are preyed upon for their property, bludgeoned to death by servants, denied medical help by family as she is a burden on their finances and in many cases is left in one corner to die.
An interesting tradition comes into play in North India , where when a woman dies her shroud i.e. the clothes which she wears for her final journey are also given by her parents, absolving the in-laws of even the mere expense of her clothes. When did she stop being a burden, may I ask?
I am dejected, shattered, lie defeated in this circle of life which I beget and die for.
Every 26 minutes a woman was molested. Every 34 minutes a woman was raped. Every 42 minutes a woman was sexually harassed. Every 43 minutes a woman was kidnapped and every 93 minutes a woman was killed. Husbands murdered fourteen wives every day. Mind it, these are just the cases that were reported and recorded by the police.
Ravneet Sangha
ravneetsangha@hotmail.com
Thursday, September 16, 2010
incest and its ugly head...
The purest of all relationships is between a father and a daughter but a shocking case comes into light from distt Sangrur where a father repeatedly raped his daughter over a period of 7yrs threatening her with dire consequences. Dara Singh resident of Wardno.6, Bhawanigarh raped, abused his daughter Karamjit Kaur and later sold her off to one Gulzar singh in convivance with Reshma, who is his paramour.
She was made to go along with this debauchery under threats from her father that her mother (mentally unsound) and younger brother would be killed.Karamjit Kaur has been raped, beaten , mentally tortured since the age of 11 years when she should have been playing and living a normal life. Forced to bear a child at an early age, and continually raped by Gulzar Singh and her father till a month ago. Her case has been registered under the Punjab State woman Commission, Chairperson Mrs. Gurdev Kaur Sangha. The accused Dara Singh is presently in jail, due to the efforts of the SSP Sangrur .Mrs. Sangha, has directed that the accused parties be summoned to the Chandigarh office within this week for a detailed account as a murder attempt has been made on Karamjit by Gulzar Singh. He tried to strangulate her; if she did not retract her statement.Gulzar Singh is absconding, and all efforts are being made to book him.
She was made to go along with this debauchery under threats from her father that her mother (mentally unsound) and younger brother would be killed.Karamjit Kaur has been raped, beaten , mentally tortured since the age of 11 years when she should have been playing and living a normal life. Forced to bear a child at an early age, and continually raped by Gulzar Singh and her father till a month ago. Her case has been registered under the Punjab State woman Commission, Chairperson Mrs. Gurdev Kaur Sangha. The accused Dara Singh is presently in jail, due to the efforts of the SSP Sangrur .Mrs. Sangha, has directed that the accused parties be summoned to the Chandigarh office within this week for a detailed account as a murder attempt has been made on Karamjit by Gulzar Singh. He tried to strangulate her; if she did not retract her statement.Gulzar Singh is absconding, and all efforts are being made to book him.
freedom at what cost
/Freedom (noun)-the state of being free or at a liberty rather than in the confinement or under physical restraint. At random, my iphone spews out 17 different meanings and states the origin of the word 900ME. Freedom entails both a negative and a positive relationship. Negative freedom means being ‘free from’ and positive freedom means ‘being free to’. Independence or license to do as one want is being promoted in a large way allover so that woman is brought to par with men.
This popular myth that freedom is what we need to give the woman is being busted in the lower strata of our society. It is disturbing to know that increase in economic independence is going hand – to hand with degradation of morals and complete breakdown of the structure. The scenario in rural Punjab is disturbing, sad and dismal. Girls as young as 10 or 11 yrs start working in the fields, or in cold –stores dotting the landscape or even as domestic help.
They are influenced by the media, swayed by glamour, pseudo-westernization and a desire to be rich overnight. The shackles of poverty are shed overnight by the daily wage –earners. Take a minute, to reflect on their lives, shunned from birth just because she is of the weaker sex, uneducated and forever hungry for love and yes, food (the basic need of all).She is scorned from the moment she is born and when she comes to puberty there is a sense of realization of the weapon she has ‘her feminity ’. These girls suddenly discover a weapon a ‘PASSPORT’ out of the hell-hole of poverty by bartering their innocence freely for money. These girls have no real sense of attachment or familial bonds, says Bibi Harmohinder Kaur, a social worker. She says that lack of emotional attachment or any kind of obligation frees them from any shame faced over this rampant prostitution which delivers them from poverty.
Villages in and around Jalandhar have been witness to an explosion of western influence due to NRI’S, competitive higher wages, affluence. Every person worth his/ her salt has a mobile phone (even if they do not know where the next meal is coming from). This increase in mobility is an aid to a downward spiral resulting in an increase of extra-marital affairs, setting up of rendezvous at sordid dingy places dotting the landscape. Lack of education, brashness and a burning desire to escape makes them fall prey to easy money. There exists a nexus in the villages where pimps scout these girls luring them with dreams of easy money and promises of bigger earnings. Overnight, easy money is such bait that they get sucked into this vortex not caring about the implications. Medical emergencies, pregnancies are terminated by OTC pills (thanks to rampant advertising) and also by the mid-wives for as low as Rs .100.Promiscousity, brazenness and the candor shown by these girls surprises and amazes one. This laxity in morals, spontaneity, and forwardness is present in them and can be pin-pointed to a psychological aspect as pointed by Dr Harshinder Kaur . She says, and I quote ‘Rebellion is at its peak, due to centuries of oppression and they are nonconforming to the hilt by hitting out via their feminity.This change in candor, style of dressing is done to hit back at the suppression faced by them in the one way possible by falling morals. They do not hold it a great value and when sex can be bartered to realize their dreams why worry? It is a tool traded, used for means. At the grass-root levels of Punjab this is what is happening where the pure get impure in the Land of the Five Rivers. It is estimated that these easy morals are leading to an increase of sexual transmitted diseases and Aids by a whopping 34 % every year in Punjab and this is not even counting the statistics from truck-drivers which infect the population.
It is important that one should realize liberty, freedom is in our mind. We need to reach out to these young girls by education and giving them alternative avenues of sustainable income. A change in their self-esteem is required by holding lectures, meets by prominent social workers who can educate them over the follies of debauchery, degradation. The gen-x of tomorrow does not care two hoots over this moral degradation, debasement or cheapening themselves. It is a point to ponder on why this moral corruption carries on unabated; or is it as it satisfies our baser desires we turn a blind eye……
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it .George Bernard Shaw
Responsibility is the price of freedom. Elbert Hubbard.
Let’s constantly endeavor to stop this rot.
This popular myth that freedom is what we need to give the woman is being busted in the lower strata of our society. It is disturbing to know that increase in economic independence is going hand – to hand with degradation of morals and complete breakdown of the structure. The scenario in rural Punjab is disturbing, sad and dismal. Girls as young as 10 or 11 yrs start working in the fields, or in cold –stores dotting the landscape or even as domestic help.
They are influenced by the media, swayed by glamour, pseudo-westernization and a desire to be rich overnight. The shackles of poverty are shed overnight by the daily wage –earners. Take a minute, to reflect on their lives, shunned from birth just because she is of the weaker sex, uneducated and forever hungry for love and yes, food (the basic need of all).She is scorned from the moment she is born and when she comes to puberty there is a sense of realization of the weapon she has ‘her feminity ’. These girls suddenly discover a weapon a ‘PASSPORT’ out of the hell-hole of poverty by bartering their innocence freely for money. These girls have no real sense of attachment or familial bonds, says Bibi Harmohinder Kaur, a social worker. She says that lack of emotional attachment or any kind of obligation frees them from any shame faced over this rampant prostitution which delivers them from poverty.
Villages in and around Jalandhar have been witness to an explosion of western influence due to NRI’S, competitive higher wages, affluence. Every person worth his/ her salt has a mobile phone (even if they do not know where the next meal is coming from). This increase in mobility is an aid to a downward spiral resulting in an increase of extra-marital affairs, setting up of rendezvous at sordid dingy places dotting the landscape. Lack of education, brashness and a burning desire to escape makes them fall prey to easy money. There exists a nexus in the villages where pimps scout these girls luring them with dreams of easy money and promises of bigger earnings. Overnight, easy money is such bait that they get sucked into this vortex not caring about the implications. Medical emergencies, pregnancies are terminated by OTC pills (thanks to rampant advertising) and also by the mid-wives for as low as Rs .100.Promiscousity, brazenness and the candor shown by these girls surprises and amazes one. This laxity in morals, spontaneity, and forwardness is present in them and can be pin-pointed to a psychological aspect as pointed by Dr Harshinder Kaur . She says, and I quote ‘Rebellion is at its peak, due to centuries of oppression and they are nonconforming to the hilt by hitting out via their feminity.This change in candor, style of dressing is done to hit back at the suppression faced by them in the one way possible by falling morals. They do not hold it a great value and when sex can be bartered to realize their dreams why worry? It is a tool traded, used for means. At the grass-root levels of Punjab this is what is happening where the pure get impure in the Land of the Five Rivers. It is estimated that these easy morals are leading to an increase of sexual transmitted diseases and Aids by a whopping 34 % every year in Punjab and this is not even counting the statistics from truck-drivers which infect the population.
It is important that one should realize liberty, freedom is in our mind. We need to reach out to these young girls by education and giving them alternative avenues of sustainable income. A change in their self-esteem is required by holding lectures, meets by prominent social workers who can educate them over the follies of debauchery, degradation. The gen-x of tomorrow does not care two hoots over this moral degradation, debasement or cheapening themselves. It is a point to ponder on why this moral corruption carries on unabated; or is it as it satisfies our baser desires we turn a blind eye……
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it .George Bernard Shaw
Responsibility is the price of freedom. Elbert Hubbard.
Let’s constantly endeavor to stop this rot.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)