Sunday, May 22, 2016

Board Results and the noose

It’s that time of the year, no no don’t get any ideas, I am not talking about spring or the birds or the bees or any romance. It’s when the board results are declared and every minute that is the count down to the release is like a count down to death. Some start doing path, prayers to the Almighty aka like me, some start eating copious amounts to deal with the stress of the results being declared. It’s been a crazy one-week. I just went from being a normal human being who smiled, cracked jokes to this irritable quiet version of me; it was as if the hardware inside of me had malfunctioned. This behavior where I was quiet, wasn’t pinging everyone, all and sundry and just being the gregarious me, had everyone worried. I had friends calling asking where I had disappeared and why I wasn’t chatting.
The insane pressure the society puts on us, about the marks and how much you and your child scored is as if they are less than normal one should go commit suicide in the chullu bhar paani!
The trolls that have hit the virtual world are all true , every far off relative , every aunt , uncle, starts to worry about how much your child has scored and what he or she is going to do . Actually, I should not be feeling bad, if the party in Delhi didn’t spare the PM           and worry about his name, his degree and how much he scored why his name was written completely, or whether it was computerized list, who am I so why should I worry. Successively, over the years we have started judging children, the parents over the results they achieve. We, overlook the child, his innocence, and his potential. In fact, in our forties now I don’t think we even remember how much we scored in our twelfth, we don’t even bother now. How is that we start judging them on the basis of percentage scored and they become a statistic? Today, four have committed suicide, till the end of the week we don’t know how many. Some get reported, some don’t. It s the Indian hall of shame. We don’t talk about this, we just shove it under the family carpet and we have this composed face because what will Mrs. Sharma Ji, Mrs. Singh of the kitty say?
Today, in the weekly conversations the PM has with the country, he mentioned about one young boy from MP, who in spite of scoring an 89.33% wanted four marks to score a perfect 90 which would make his family happy.
What are we driving ourselves to? A society of perfect individuals, robotic, driven to perfection with no time for play or innocence. When did this change become? Why are marks a measure of your child, his smile, his worth? Or are we so self-driven by degrees, translate into money, social status and all sorts of material possessions as a mark of success!
And, then the irony when we turn them into these cold, lacking human values driven by mammon they face stress and try to re –discover the power of stress free life, yoga, and the wisdom of ancient texts.

Today, I am a normal mother contended with what my son scored, supported by brilliant friends who told me it doesn’t matter what he scores, but that he is a good human being g. I’m afraid, that doesn’t translate into admission into the college that just look at the magical number. What is the future of our children, how do you expect them to escape the cynicism of failure, mediocrity, of being average, of not attaining it?
Don’t look for answers from the man in the moon, or from the green men from Mars. It all lies with in us collectively.

Ps: any tips to get the hair to be not so whiter than white that I put the politicians to shame?

Thursday, May 12, 2016

justice delayed

I am the mother incarnate with silver white hair, mother of child confused with supreme court ruling out of the blue, the conqueror of anxiety and stress, the ruler of mending hearts and uplifting my child. This is not what George RR martin wrote or is writing in season 7 for the next game of thrones. Its just what we are going through because one fine day in their infinite wisdom the judges of the highest law in the land decided to end corruption and capitation and in a single stroke at the nth hour decided that one single exam would be mandatory to judge my child’s ranking and that would enable his admission.
In the land of fairness and morality and for the betterment of the society and to stop the moral rot I uphold this decision, one common exam for all with no favoritism, bias or undue advantage to anyone.
But, Sir, at the nth moment? Why did you not sit and decide this case in December or even before so we could have been better prepared?
Parents like me who had just focused on one career line, had taken expensive coaching classes, and shifted cities so as to be on par or to stand a chance at cracking the exams, stand nowhere now.
Do you even know the statistics? Its 50,017 seats to a rough 9, 50,000 students! Where do the rest go? Why have you not taken steps to re –vamp the entire education system? And, if the states were not allowed to hold their own exams, why were we allowed to fill the forms? What about losses for us?
Even we, feel the pinch of filling the forms, paying, making drafts and sending them to states all over the country. Why were we allowed to do this whole expenditure? Sir, kindly thinks all this could have been avoided if you had given judgment at the appropriate time. I accept the thought behind the ruling and support it but the timing. Sir, I am stuck between the cliff and the ditch!
Every other avenue we missed and the disillusionment with the entire system grows everyday .You want to stop the fleecing by private universities but set up ones where the next generation of students can apply, study and build a better India.
Sir, make in India can only happen if we educate and stop the brain drain! Mothers like me, and even fathers who want their child to succeed, to escape the intense pressure that the society heaps on them are confused, befuddled and don’t know what to do. Deadlines that can make or break a life are looming and some have been missed.
And the best thing in India, is the amount of advice one gets from chacha, chachi, nukkad wala Uncle, far off relatives who are interested and mean well and all this is free! The parallel industry that has mushroomed in every town and promise to analyze, test and gauge what my child is worth charge a hefty amount. I am so puzzled and confused that honestly I think I have acquired a squint. Also, have started supporting the pharmaceutical company by eating headache medicines, anti –anxiety medicines.
I think, Raghu ram Rajan is happy with the quarterly sales, as the economy seems to be on an upswing, by the amount of sales for food, junk food, pharm sales, and by the amount of income generation of the phone company’s.
Its come to this point that my anxiety has anxiety issues.
Where can I send my billing? Or should I also set up an NGO and ask for justice?

Si r, justice delayed is justice denied, as true for us! What should I do? Maybe, try for a screen part; I qualify with the hair, wrinkles and the emotional distress. I don’t need to act. It’s in me.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Sorry, Mr Jobs!

It happened one fine day, I gave in and bought one of those thin smart tablets that promised to replace everything else and would be my book, guide, know it all and would answer to every query be it related to music, weather Trump’s crass jokes or just why the Chancellor resigned suddenly. It would also help me to have my books, for the challenged and the initiated it means the I- pad would substitute my books, and I would not have to carry the heavy-duty tomes that I used to lug around everywhere.
Just the slick, sleek sophisticated thinnest screen that I would carry and flaunt in one of those design skins, and I did get one of those designer status symbol insignia ones. Carrying the iPod meant I was with it and I had all the information I wanted with me, plus my books that I could access anywhere. Books and I have a life long affair, I don’t know when I stumbled into this world where I started getting transporting into a magical world of fairy tales, to the faraway tree, to the adventure series of Nancy drew, hardy boys to Mallory twins, to boarding school adventures, to the romance of the English authors of georgette heyer, Bronte sisters, and then I discovered adventure, fiction, murder, mystery, suspense, whodunit’s, spirituality, the list is endless. I did all of those things, using a torch and reading under quilts, hiding in the bathroom to read, to have books that I was reading, to a back- up book, and to have another back up. My biggest fear till date is to not have a book to read , to be without one and that leaves me in a weird way insecure .
I know all of you have faced that particular problem where one delays starting a book because you know it’s going to finish. That’s my procrastination, many days and coupled with coffee and mentally making lists of when to start and when to buy the next one. However, all this was getting solved as I had bought this “ device’. I would never have to worry and I started using it extolling to all how light it was, how it had a night feature where the light would change and the font could be increased to help me with my poor eyesight!
It was a boon for this old young readaholic mom who needed to read and read and then sleep.
However, I realized, I am so old fashioned and ancient that I started missing the feel of a book. The turning of the pages, the use of book –marks that have special meanings, family, friends and even my boys have gifted such beautiful, unique ones which needed to be used.
The feel of a book , the turning of pages, to go back and re-read them , the illustration that sparks of the imagery in the mind , all that I was missing like an ache . In fact, the times I have imagined being in Hogwarts and missing the missing steps and the friendly ghosts or being transported to the world of Middle earth and the wise Ents. To go back the pages and to read the written word, or to wonder whether the dire wolves have a deeper meaning or are just soulfully entwined to the Starks.

Well, the calling was so deep, just like the bond of Watson and Holmes and I succumbed and bought books all over again. Ah, the feel of new books, the illustration on the cover that gave a hint and had deeper secrets that it would reveal. One can ramble and debate on this about the convenience of having a lightweight electronic , unlimited supply of reading over the love of old books, the smell of pages and the heady feeling of a holding a book that holds memories. It’s the physical feeling of holding , touching and feeling and then the imagery and memories associated . The human brain is the most complex and sophisticated machine where as sensory imagery invokes a memory rewind. For me  reading the old fashioned way is what I like and it just beats what Mr Steve Jobs made and sold to billions .