The Case of the ordinary glasses

    It all started with choosing a pair of glasses that would aid my increasing age and decreasing eyesight . I’m literally blind as a bat and can’t save my life if I don’t wear them and with this intense heat and sultry weather they just keep on sliding down . I have a weird nose as some say , thankfully its never been broken and if it had I would have been able to lodge the glasses there .  So , I’m looking for the perfect pair which doesn’t need to be blended to fit !

I went to the stores , fancy one where they make you download the app and everything is paper free and is OTP generated .  They even serve coffee to save the soul when you’re getting frustrated waiting for your turn. All the salesman walk around with their gadgets , and make you virtually check how your face would be with the glasses on . 

This all was so so new, I wanted the comfort of my old guy who make you try all the glasses. Here , you can look but don’t touch and they take out the frames slowly and slowly just like the ache din that are coming .

And, then they confuse simple village folk like me with their fancy schmancy terms , like the type of lens that one should use , it should be light , plastic , non breakable, UV resistant , blue light resistant , wouldn’t fog , and the brand . Coupled with this , its the designer frame , and heaven forbid you might say that you need a simple steel fram e, the old fashioned kinds with those little pads to stick to your nose ..

Trust me , he looked as if I was as old as the dinosaurs and didn’t belong to this era . I was dressed in the wrong clothes , and was asking for the wrong glasses and wanted a discount .

This age , this time , its de rigeour to just walk in , buy the designer glass frames and the fancy lenses and swipe the card and walk off with a message on your phone . Asking for a simple frame , with glasses that stay up where they are supposed to and also to haggle is a no -no . You’re frowned up as if you’re the goblin from Gringott’s and a mix of Gulati Sundi!

And the icing on the cake is if you ask for cheap glasses . No , no they don’t do them anymore, however my membership would enable free service, discounts and referrals . Do these even count? I wonder where the older shops and Uncleji’s have gone where they had pictures of Rajesh Khanna , Vinod Khanna , Parveen Babi , Zeenat Aman looking all glamorous in their glasses and one wanted to be like them ! Now , the chiseled torsos , picture perfect hair  and the contoured skin speaks of artificial beauty that suffices for an Instagram tag ! 

My woes are simple , I need glasses that stay put ( alas I have no Hermoine here ) and also the ones that don’t fog up instantly when I wear a mask .. the troubles of old age have started and I still have to write about my aching joints and stubborn grey hair!

The tiny changes and me

 I  am al l for reading  as you  know, I can read just about anything apart from horror !And , have stayed away from  self  help books or inspirational ones , I think it was hubris and ego that I felt I knew it   all but as the old adage , pride hath a fall. I thought I knew everything and sanctimoniously could explain these books. I always assumed that there would be a misfortune and man /woman would emerge victorious after struggles and overcoming all suffering . 

Then one fine day , I came across a story on Instagram and I read the lines and went and tracked the author . And , I did what every person does on the planet , I started following the author , and signed up for his free newsletter . It was easy and i started reading it and following it all . The book , Atomic Habits written by James Clear , which is about how tiny changes , lead to remarkable results . It is the tiny minuscule changes in our routine , our mindset , our outlook that we can make changes in our life . He clearly says the 1 % change is required . It is a fascinating book and is easy to read and follow . What appealed to me is that we can train our mind to become better , it all starts with one change . One more page , five more minutes of work , two more push ups , walking 200 steps more , all focus to becoming better , and these results don’t show overnight but over time he writes and illustrates how the improvement is .

Why did I change ? What made me react to this book more than others ? I call this karmic , all things that happen in our lives are aligned to occur at a certain time , which is predestined in lien with the higher consciousness . It sounds contradictory , that I advocate these changes and also submit to Him , but He also says that as beings we have to constantly strive to be better and also be productive . .

If there is one thing I would add to this book is , to take a pen and paper , write your thoughts down , make lists , don’t procrastinate over this , now is the moment , visualising the goal makes it seem closer and then achieving it by changing oneself step by step leads to the reform .

I always shy away from writing ,and have a million open tabs in my mind where I am writing and making up stories but I seldom pen them down , always deferring myself with unnecessary scrolling or something which is always more important ; it could be dusting too ! 

But since I read this , I promised myself two articles a week , and hence the first one is dedicated to this book , how the tiny things lead to transformation . Maybe , one day the Hogwarts letter might come because I might be wizard worthy .

Sandook

 It’s been sitting in the verandah for years and years and we decided to renovate and refurbish it to its former glory . In 1902 , a father lovingly commissioned the huge wooden cupboard for his daughter as befitting his status and to ensure that his daughters prestige and rutaba be maintained in her marital home. As was the custom in those days , the sandook was brought in to the verandah and all her clothes, her Khes her dhurries and all that she had carried with her put out for the in-laws family to see and approve. Then the village headman / the most influential man of the village would approve by picking up the dhurrie and folding it to signal his assent! 

This was a matter of great respect and would cement the newly weds position in the house. I wish the sandook had ears and could talk and would be just out of Harry Potters magical  Diagon Alley so that I could be transported to that era and also the history that it had witnessed . This two storey cupboard with brass inlay and the shelves put strategically so she could place her clothes is a marvel. It has the topmost floor with arches and tiles , maybe it had mirrors , maybe they had put bevelled glass ! I wonder what all the father had given to his daughter who must have lived a happy long life ( this is the hopeless romantic in me ) .. as patriarchy demands we have to provide for the daughter and now the demands have gone up more and more , instead of progressing  we have regressed even more .

We don’t value her but we value what she brings . A century more later , we still gift / give / or subtly give to our daughters so that she is cared for and looked after in her husbands home , a father a hundred plus years ago gave a cupboard as part of her dowry and it rests now rests with us , guaranteed to outlive me. The cupboard has been witness to her tears , her laughter and happiness and sorrow .