Saying that you are proud to be an Indian isn’t much different than saying you’re born on a Monday- you are just stating a fact not an achievement to be proud of. Are you even aware of the fact what it means to be born as an Indian? We remember our identity as clockwork only when the national holiday comes. The free day albeit with full salary is a day of rejoice not because of the underlying sentiments but because we get paid to be home. What an achievement. Rajnish, an office goer at the Local courts is happy and nonchalantly says, it’s fun because it gets combined with the week-end, and thus I don’t need to go to work.
The ridiculously, outlandish celebrations in shades of orange and green the loud sloganeering, and the louder caricatures of Bharat Mata portrayed in a white sari with a green border Hema Malini style. The overdose of patriotic color and the customary display of flags everywhere die out when the de rigueur ribbon cutting is over and laddoos are distributed.
Why no thoughtful, intelligent, low-key, austere function where one remembers the sacrifice of the soldiers who have died in battle-fields for us? Why do we have to prove that we are Indian by loud over- the top functions? Do we wake up for one day , discharge our national duty for that particular time frame finish and the rest of the 364 days we get divided into narrow , compartments of religion or state identities. Where has all this bigotry come? We all shout Mera Bharat mahaan from the day we enter our nursery classes but according to a recent survey carried out by an online net magazine:
If you live in Punjab,or another part of India, are you an Indian citizen, or how do you see yourself first and foremost?
As an Indian
As a Punjabi
As a Sikh
As a Sikh- Indian
The shameful results are as follows in order of choices given: 8.7%, 9.3%, 69.8%, and 12.2%.
Isn’t this shocking? Why are we being fragmented into compartments by religion? Dr GS kalkat says he is an Indian living in Punjab practicing Sikhism. Let us at least follow this octogenarian’s diktat and not get narrowed by the grandiosity of religion. Simply being born into as Sikh family or a Hindu family earns you nothing. By mere happenstance you find yourself linked to Sikh religion. You are given a basic understanding of your religion which maybe any..Hinduisim, Islamic, Jewish, Christianity or even Buddhism. There is a certain amount of assimilation of religion via the media, intenet,pamphlets, books visits to the temples but does that make you a Hindu, Sikh, Muslim?
So, does this make you to be Sikh for eg? Richard Dawkins, in his book The God Delusion mentions a pet peeve of his. He loathes it when children are identified as Christian children, or Muslim children etc...
Why do we start labeling them? These labels are cultural context to the children in which they define themselves and they obtain a sense of moral guidance. Dawkin however insists that morality comes from within and resists the proposed monopoly structured religion claims on human morality.
A poll participant called Rabia Sultan from across the border, Multan says we are human beings first and last nothing else. It is important that we should all have a cohesive national identity as opposed to personal religious identity. On the last count, there was no significant medical discovery or break through which professed in distinguishing the color of the blood by its religious identity. There is however the lucrative Nobel Prize for medicine which is up for grabs till immemorial if anyone happens to decipher the code.
As a nation we need to embrace oneness rather than get sold to the highest bidder in the dirty game of politics.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
gori , chitti kudi
Vikram Seth wrote his great epic novel A Suitable Boy in 1993, I’m waiting for his next; Suitable Girl which is coming out in 2013. It would be an interesting read to say the least. I was sourcing advertisements for my magazine Nirmal Marg.Like all enterprises the God of Mammon comes into play in all enterprises whether they are charitable or otherwise. Altruism is scarce, you see. Punjab has a mind-set where parents meaningfully want to marry their daughters at an early age and they advertise through matrimonial advertisements. My marketing manager was very enthusiastic and assured me of a great return and started projecting increasing profits. When I told him that we would not accept any advertisement which blatantly characterizes a woman as “fair ‘he was taken aback. This got me thinking and the result is…..
Fair,
Fair around 25,
Fair, good looking, well propertied….
Fair professional!
Pretty slim, fair tall professionally qualified girl.
Fair and simple preferably in US/ Canada
Fair and beautiful …. Oh that is really simple
Fair, clean habits… umm! What do you mean by this one? Does this mean she should have OCD (Obsessive cleanliness Disorder?)
Why this fixation with fair, gori chitti kudi?
This obsession actually exists both sides of the border. The Pakistan Punjab is worse than us, but let’s get into that another day. From fixations about caste and virginity in the 1930’s the focus shifted to education and parity between partners. In the 1930’s and 1940’s a typical matrimonial advertisement consisted of a desire to find a handsome, healthy , fair virgin girl, western fashioned, highly educated , need not approach. I mean are we talking of a human being or just reproductive stock? You know how they check cattle lines for better milk production.
When we gradually progressed to the 1960’s a family’s connections was a popular request along with grooms who had government jobs. The underlying requirement of a gori bahu remained. The colonial hangover remained. To have a demure, fair white daughter in law epitomized success in the society. The 1970’s and 80’s saw many ads. For fair, tall, homely and convent educated girls (i.e. the ones who could speak English).Education was taking root and there was a high demand from educated men who wanted life partners compatible to them.
We progressed to the 90’s where education mattered but social status was what the deciding factor was; but the white fixation remained. The adjectives became more sophisticated, the words inter-changed but the bottom line was the same. The requirement started with fair and ended with white. Where else but in Punjab, which raised the bar for wheat production in the country and brought laurels coined a phrase ‘wheatish complexion’. Are we supposed to look at the husk or the inner color of the grain? Why have we started equating a human being on the basis of the color which can be scientifically broken down on the basis of the gene she carries? Why have we become ruthless buyers of flesh based on color and have forgotten the inner beauty of the soul which exists breathes, not tinged by color.
An US study says that Indians have a preference for light skin because skin color and caste are connected in the Indian imagination. Dating and career success, they say are further linked to skin color. These sources further admit that colors in India is related to British colonialism and the importance of a color-based hierarchy : but that was then and today India still embraces prejudice against dark-skinned people, and thereby creating a market for these unsavory products. Dr Anu GoelM.D., a leading cosmetologist of Jalandhar says that 90% of the cases which she sees everyday lead to in a roundabout fashion that, ‘help us, we want to lighten our skin tone.” The Punjabi mother wants her mother to look white. She also states that it is ironical that men are dark but the desire to marry white is a pre-requisite of a successful marriage. The exploitation and the manipulation products which are in the market are so high that we contribute the second highest revenue to the cosmetic industry. Dr. Anu also says that 90% of the whitening products available in the market for consumer are crap and cause damage sometimes leading to severity in the form of skin cancer.
The obsession for being white cannot be solely blamed on insecure individuals or a now internalized colorism.A white skin obsession is instigated by the MNC’s – for profit. It is not simply a legacy of the British Raj. The Face book Application which Vaseline has introduced is one such kind which plays upon the Indian Men’s insecurities (the next frontier).Even the advertisements show that a dark-skinned woman wearing a saree will be rejected but a fair skinned woman in western clothes will get selected. Irony being, that woman are still viewed as sex objects, adornments and the grey matter they have is so-incidental!
Do not pity the Indian seeker of lighter skin, or condemn him or her for racism or shake heads over the legacy of colonialism we should consider how outgoing Western cultural dominance and capitalist economic penetration ( via MNC’s) who play on global insecurities in contributing to the global market in skin–lightening products.
A fair girl it seems is the end to Punjabi men’s problems and also the utopian cure to all that plagues Punjab right now. Be it a visa to the phoren lands or a gori kudi !
Fair,
Fair around 25,
Fair, good looking, well propertied….
Fair professional!
Pretty slim, fair tall professionally qualified girl.
Fair and simple preferably in US/ Canada
Fair and beautiful …. Oh that is really simple
Fair, clean habits… umm! What do you mean by this one? Does this mean she should have OCD (Obsessive cleanliness Disorder?)
Why this fixation with fair, gori chitti kudi?
This obsession actually exists both sides of the border. The Pakistan Punjab is worse than us, but let’s get into that another day. From fixations about caste and virginity in the 1930’s the focus shifted to education and parity between partners. In the 1930’s and 1940’s a typical matrimonial advertisement consisted of a desire to find a handsome, healthy , fair virgin girl, western fashioned, highly educated , need not approach. I mean are we talking of a human being or just reproductive stock? You know how they check cattle lines for better milk production.
When we gradually progressed to the 1960’s a family’s connections was a popular request along with grooms who had government jobs. The underlying requirement of a gori bahu remained. The colonial hangover remained. To have a demure, fair white daughter in law epitomized success in the society. The 1970’s and 80’s saw many ads. For fair, tall, homely and convent educated girls (i.e. the ones who could speak English).Education was taking root and there was a high demand from educated men who wanted life partners compatible to them.
We progressed to the 90’s where education mattered but social status was what the deciding factor was; but the white fixation remained. The adjectives became more sophisticated, the words inter-changed but the bottom line was the same. The requirement started with fair and ended with white. Where else but in Punjab, which raised the bar for wheat production in the country and brought laurels coined a phrase ‘wheatish complexion’. Are we supposed to look at the husk or the inner color of the grain? Why have we started equating a human being on the basis of the color which can be scientifically broken down on the basis of the gene she carries? Why have we become ruthless buyers of flesh based on color and have forgotten the inner beauty of the soul which exists breathes, not tinged by color.
An US study says that Indians have a preference for light skin because skin color and caste are connected in the Indian imagination. Dating and career success, they say are further linked to skin color. These sources further admit that colors in India is related to British colonialism and the importance of a color-based hierarchy : but that was then and today India still embraces prejudice against dark-skinned people, and thereby creating a market for these unsavory products. Dr Anu GoelM.D., a leading cosmetologist of Jalandhar says that 90% of the cases which she sees everyday lead to in a roundabout fashion that, ‘help us, we want to lighten our skin tone.” The Punjabi mother wants her mother to look white. She also states that it is ironical that men are dark but the desire to marry white is a pre-requisite of a successful marriage. The exploitation and the manipulation products which are in the market are so high that we contribute the second highest revenue to the cosmetic industry. Dr. Anu also says that 90% of the whitening products available in the market for consumer are crap and cause damage sometimes leading to severity in the form of skin cancer.
The obsession for being white cannot be solely blamed on insecure individuals or a now internalized colorism.A white skin obsession is instigated by the MNC’s – for profit. It is not simply a legacy of the British Raj. The Face book Application which Vaseline has introduced is one such kind which plays upon the Indian Men’s insecurities (the next frontier).Even the advertisements show that a dark-skinned woman wearing a saree will be rejected but a fair skinned woman in western clothes will get selected. Irony being, that woman are still viewed as sex objects, adornments and the grey matter they have is so-incidental!
Do not pity the Indian seeker of lighter skin, or condemn him or her for racism or shake heads over the legacy of colonialism we should consider how outgoing Western cultural dominance and capitalist economic penetration ( via MNC’s) who play on global insecurities in contributing to the global market in skin–lightening products.
A fair girl it seems is the end to Punjabi men’s problems and also the utopian cure to all that plagues Punjab right now. Be it a visa to the phoren lands or a gori kudi !
Monday, November 15, 2010
missing girls in action
14 years back (symbolic of Ramji’s exile), DR. Harshinder Kaur was passing by the outskirts Badshahpur village, one of the progressive village of Doaba; where she heard the wailing of a newborn child. She stopped to look where the carcasses of the dead animals were thrown…. Nothing could have prepared her for the horrors, a newborn baby –girl wrapped in her clothes was being eaten alive by dogs, torn apart. The defenseless baby destined for life was reduced to a mass of blood, and gore. What thoughts prompt people to take such an inhuman senseless act? Dr. Harshinder Kaur, a crusader for woman right’s and an activist in identifying feticide as genocide still recoils with horrors over the incident which remains fresh in her mind till date.
Gurleen Kaur, married into a progressive agricultural family of Malwa was made to abort her fetus 4 times just because they were girls. The fourth time life played a cruel trick on her, the fetus was wrongly diagnosed as a girl, and it was a boy …
We can ask innumerable questions and keep on discussing the why’s, the what and the how about female feticide till we all die but this senseless killing will carry on unabated till we all resolve , educate ourselves by empowering women and raising their status in society.
Female Infanticide is the intentional killing of baby girls due to the preference for male and from the low value associated with the birth of females. It is the worst form of abuse of Human Rights of a girl child. Women are worshipped as Shakti, Durga but speaking in practical terms men find it difficult to respect women. Destruction of a female fetus is a clear violation of human rights of a child. The Pre-Birth Elimination of Females is an immoral and cruel practice which cannot be condemned enough. Girls go missing in a society; they are denied a right to life just because she is a girl. The sad part is that this discrimination starts when the girl is in the womb, the holiest of holy places and then it carries on till the grave (that is if we let her be born). This sounds like a cliché’ but a girls right to live, blossom is nipped cruelly in the bud.
Can you sit back and ignore it? India’s population rose to 1.03 billion from 967 million in 2001 from 1997. What went down (for the first time, and it wasn’t the inflation!)Drastically, declined precipitously- was the natural proportion of females in the0-6 age range.
1961 976girls 1000boys
2001 927girls 1000boys
Latest 896girls 1000boys
And the surprising fact is that there are 60 to 100 million girls missing women due to female infanticide and sex-selective feticide which is leading to the decline in child sex-ratio. In Punjab, a prosperous state or we like to label it, a district Fatehgarh Sahib the ratio has plummeted to 754. This has the authorities worried but not overly as life goes on and we are waiting for a messiah to come and save us. Punjab has the abject distinction of being the first and only state in India where the sex ratio has gone down further.A negative trend of 875 to 793. The shortage of girls surprisingly cannot be attributed conveniently to poverty. Sons of the poorest areas have no issues in raising girls but yes, economic considerations matter. There is no pressure from political ideology or illiteracy or low education but what affects is culture combined with preference of male child. Why is a girl child deprived of her right to live?
Is it because she is born in the Holy, Promised Land of Punjab? Or is it because of religious norms, which have lost their significance and charm in the hands of the immoral interpretations of religious dictums. The time has come to debate upon and to choose between life and religious notion. It is unquestionable to say life is more sacred than any other holy customs and powerful than any established idiotic custom. The practice that a male can perform the last rite, carry on the family name, property are the main reasons of belief that a male child is so desired and wanted by Punjabis. It is ironical that she who gives birth cannot give fire to the dying person. In the absence of any social/ welfare plans boys are considered wrongly to be the sole supporters of ageing parents. The other vice is that dowry / Praya dhan is a deterrent to actually giving birth to girls. The age old tradition which is steeped in our psyche of girls being ‘prayaa’ and to provide a substantial dowry at the time of marriages is considered to be a burden. Dowry was created by women for women as a marker of their status and now life has come to a full circle where girls are being forced to abort fetuses due to family pressures and solely the practice of dowry is responsible for this merciless killing.
The Government of India advocates the two –child policy with a skewed black and white advertisement where a boy and a girl makes a happy family ; you all must remember the Door Darshan commercial from by gone age. The ancient commercial imprints on our mind pressurizing a mother to abort the second fetus if the first one is a girl. In Punjab women who fail to deliver boys are harassed by their in-laws or thrown out on the street. She is also increasingly divorced as she has n’t given birth to the heir who will carry on the family name or lineage never mind, that the precious male child grows up to be a drug addict, alcoholic or beats his old parents to get control of the property.
In homes women are valued more for their reproductive abilities as mothers, as sexual caretakers than as productive citizens in their own right. Son preference sex selection is more in wealthier families. The means to have the perfect family is within their reach and just a mere click, a scan and voila get rid of the baby like a soiled tissue paper, this is according to a leading Gynecologists words in Chandigarh. The sanctity and the sacred entity of a human life are being violated and we all are responsible collectively for this gender genocide. This word which defines this practice Gender Genocide, carried on by medical termination and further when the child is born by crude inhuman methods of lacing their feeds with pesticides, starving them to death, suffocating them with a wet towel or stuffing their mouths with black salt or urea. Sometimes the midwives also force down a few grains of poppy seeds or rice husk in their small throats. Modern technology also goes hand in hand with the terror machines (mid-wives). There is a visible proliferation of ultra-sound clinics in rural areas. The internet might not increase the knowledge or provide any benefit but the small time operators have benefitted by the so –called sex- determination kits which are available in the rural areas. Pay 50 $ or the Indian equivalent and the kit gets delivered to your address. The ultra-sound machines which were meant as a boon to save the mother and child is now the new AK -47 where a lil hint of the pretty girl is shot down; it’s the final nail in the coffin. A large number of abortions are sex-selective, a shocking 94%! Pre- Birth elimination Technique is not just limited to Punjab but is a nationwide phenomenon, not surprisingly the northern states comes on the top. A full 60 million girls are missing in India- effectively exterminated falling into a demographic black hole from which analysts fear –there will be no return. Every year 2 million fetuses are aborted for no reason other than that they are girls. Punjab’s contribution to this pool will increase by 40%.
There are no words to describe this; it is the ultimate manifestation of being cruel. How else can we justify where one is killed for the mere fact of being a girl, a female a woman. We all are together in this as we instead of condoning or condemning just turn a shoulder or make the proper noises of protest but forget it as an unpleasant memory. Loss of females is a silent, dangerous national tragedy. It is potentially de-stabilizing leading to an increase in crime and violence against women crimes. Women, Gaia the primordial Goddess of Earth is under threat. The permanent loss of women who have disappeared or have been killed is irreversible. We as a society have effectively, brutally done away with two consecutive generations. The best part of this extermination which would even give Hitler a shudder is that we don’t have gas chambers but throw them right in frontal public view, be it the dustbin or the ubiquitous wells dotting Punjab’s landscape.
We need legislation which should be effective and not the impotent spineless one which is in place which is circumvented by a few hundred under the table. The deeper problem of gender discrimination needs to be addressed. Sex-selection occurs when modernization moves ahead of sense of equity. Wake up from this slumber, the sloth which has seeped into our conscience and has turned us all into silent but equal guilty partners.
RavneetSangha
The who, what, where which way the society can change has been outlined by a panel of the society who from all walks of life answer this question asked on female feticide when a survey was carried on a social networking site.
Yudhveer Shergill need to open a school for the mother in laws,don't think there are too many men who don't want daughters
Sukhjeet Sunny Brar I believe this is related to the literacy levels, we need to educate more folks...coz basically female fetecide is a ruthless killing by doing this we are killing infinite more of our very own generation and those to come.
Surinder Dulai
@yudhveer -you got it right..spot on! dasughters bring joy a thousandfold!
@sukhjeet ji- everyone is involved..all levels of litereacy..and yes, who knows what the future holds...the ratio of girls to boys are scary..what a mess!
@Ravneet -s...See more
Romel Kaur take action on those nursing homes and hospitals which perform gender tests.. cancel their licence to practice..
Ronnie Kairon all i can say is a girl is the most beautiful thing god created if we carry on with all this by the end of the Era there wont be any men either.
Navneet Dhillon Root cause is the Social Structure. Its a male dominated society and low literacy level accentuates the complexity of the problem.The mind set has to change. Education is the solution ... Kerala is example !
Mani Virk I like Yudhveer's comment......a school needed ......to educate elder women first......we cannot blame the male dominance only behind this heinous act, contribution by females is even more shocking...
Manju Kalkat Dhatt A woman is the worst enemy of another woman ,we all need to change our mind set . Let us vow to fight it out .....
Tanu Cheema If most men are happy with daughter's , what keeps them from voicing their opinion to their mothers ? After all if their moms are trying to 'protect' their sons from the 'burden' of raising a daughter, shouldn't the sons hold their own to protect their unborn daughters ?
Sunaina Sood Bawa we all can set an example by looking after ourselves on the body mind and spiritual level ......
Navneet Dhillon It re iterates my point ... if education is not the answer... the answer is to change the Social Structure... which in turn will be possible with a better outlook ... Education is the means to the end.... not the end itself.
Preet Inder Dhillon This issue needs to be rewritten ,revocalised until d dogmatic and narrow mindset of our people undergoes a change....by ruthlessly killing d female fetus in d consecrated womb itself, we r killing an infinite mre of our generations..."her" death mourns d dilatory demise of humanity....
Yogeet Brar Ravneet...we are talking of the birth....what about after the birth....many a times its too late in the pregnancy,and the baby is carried full term, the trauma faced by the mother during that time ,,,and also after the birth ,the brunt is felt entirely by the mother and the unwanted child,repeatedly,relentlessly...i mean can you even imagine...living..at times i feel young mothers....foresee this and give in to the procedure...motherhood prevails even in the heinous act...we need to take care of both
rupinder dandiwal: this is a deeprooted issue which cannot be pinned on point , it is male -dominated society and we need to first of all change the mindset to proceed further..
ravneetsangha
Gurleen Kaur, married into a progressive agricultural family of Malwa was made to abort her fetus 4 times just because they were girls. The fourth time life played a cruel trick on her, the fetus was wrongly diagnosed as a girl, and it was a boy …
We can ask innumerable questions and keep on discussing the why’s, the what and the how about female feticide till we all die but this senseless killing will carry on unabated till we all resolve , educate ourselves by empowering women and raising their status in society.
Female Infanticide is the intentional killing of baby girls due to the preference for male and from the low value associated with the birth of females. It is the worst form of abuse of Human Rights of a girl child. Women are worshipped as Shakti, Durga but speaking in practical terms men find it difficult to respect women. Destruction of a female fetus is a clear violation of human rights of a child. The Pre-Birth Elimination of Females is an immoral and cruel practice which cannot be condemned enough. Girls go missing in a society; they are denied a right to life just because she is a girl. The sad part is that this discrimination starts when the girl is in the womb, the holiest of holy places and then it carries on till the grave (that is if we let her be born). This sounds like a cliché’ but a girls right to live, blossom is nipped cruelly in the bud.
Can you sit back and ignore it? India’s population rose to 1.03 billion from 967 million in 2001 from 1997. What went down (for the first time, and it wasn’t the inflation!)Drastically, declined precipitously- was the natural proportion of females in the0-6 age range.
1961 976girls 1000boys
2001 927girls 1000boys
Latest 896girls 1000boys
And the surprising fact is that there are 60 to 100 million girls missing women due to female infanticide and sex-selective feticide which is leading to the decline in child sex-ratio. In Punjab, a prosperous state or we like to label it, a district Fatehgarh Sahib the ratio has plummeted to 754. This has the authorities worried but not overly as life goes on and we are waiting for a messiah to come and save us. Punjab has the abject distinction of being the first and only state in India where the sex ratio has gone down further.A negative trend of 875 to 793. The shortage of girls surprisingly cannot be attributed conveniently to poverty. Sons of the poorest areas have no issues in raising girls but yes, economic considerations matter. There is no pressure from political ideology or illiteracy or low education but what affects is culture combined with preference of male child. Why is a girl child deprived of her right to live?
Is it because she is born in the Holy, Promised Land of Punjab? Or is it because of religious norms, which have lost their significance and charm in the hands of the immoral interpretations of religious dictums. The time has come to debate upon and to choose between life and religious notion. It is unquestionable to say life is more sacred than any other holy customs and powerful than any established idiotic custom. The practice that a male can perform the last rite, carry on the family name, property are the main reasons of belief that a male child is so desired and wanted by Punjabis. It is ironical that she who gives birth cannot give fire to the dying person. In the absence of any social/ welfare plans boys are considered wrongly to be the sole supporters of ageing parents. The other vice is that dowry / Praya dhan is a deterrent to actually giving birth to girls. The age old tradition which is steeped in our psyche of girls being ‘prayaa’ and to provide a substantial dowry at the time of marriages is considered to be a burden. Dowry was created by women for women as a marker of their status and now life has come to a full circle where girls are being forced to abort fetuses due to family pressures and solely the practice of dowry is responsible for this merciless killing.
The Government of India advocates the two –child policy with a skewed black and white advertisement where a boy and a girl makes a happy family ; you all must remember the Door Darshan commercial from by gone age. The ancient commercial imprints on our mind pressurizing a mother to abort the second fetus if the first one is a girl. In Punjab women who fail to deliver boys are harassed by their in-laws or thrown out on the street. She is also increasingly divorced as she has n’t given birth to the heir who will carry on the family name or lineage never mind, that the precious male child grows up to be a drug addict, alcoholic or beats his old parents to get control of the property.
In homes women are valued more for their reproductive abilities as mothers, as sexual caretakers than as productive citizens in their own right. Son preference sex selection is more in wealthier families. The means to have the perfect family is within their reach and just a mere click, a scan and voila get rid of the baby like a soiled tissue paper, this is according to a leading Gynecologists words in Chandigarh. The sanctity and the sacred entity of a human life are being violated and we all are responsible collectively for this gender genocide. This word which defines this practice Gender Genocide, carried on by medical termination and further when the child is born by crude inhuman methods of lacing their feeds with pesticides, starving them to death, suffocating them with a wet towel or stuffing their mouths with black salt or urea. Sometimes the midwives also force down a few grains of poppy seeds or rice husk in their small throats. Modern technology also goes hand in hand with the terror machines (mid-wives). There is a visible proliferation of ultra-sound clinics in rural areas. The internet might not increase the knowledge or provide any benefit but the small time operators have benefitted by the so –called sex- determination kits which are available in the rural areas. Pay 50 $ or the Indian equivalent and the kit gets delivered to your address. The ultra-sound machines which were meant as a boon to save the mother and child is now the new AK -47 where a lil hint of the pretty girl is shot down; it’s the final nail in the coffin. A large number of abortions are sex-selective, a shocking 94%! Pre- Birth elimination Technique is not just limited to Punjab but is a nationwide phenomenon, not surprisingly the northern states comes on the top. A full 60 million girls are missing in India- effectively exterminated falling into a demographic black hole from which analysts fear –there will be no return. Every year 2 million fetuses are aborted for no reason other than that they are girls. Punjab’s contribution to this pool will increase by 40%.
There are no words to describe this; it is the ultimate manifestation of being cruel. How else can we justify where one is killed for the mere fact of being a girl, a female a woman. We all are together in this as we instead of condoning or condemning just turn a shoulder or make the proper noises of protest but forget it as an unpleasant memory. Loss of females is a silent, dangerous national tragedy. It is potentially de-stabilizing leading to an increase in crime and violence against women crimes. Women, Gaia the primordial Goddess of Earth is under threat. The permanent loss of women who have disappeared or have been killed is irreversible. We as a society have effectively, brutally done away with two consecutive generations. The best part of this extermination which would even give Hitler a shudder is that we don’t have gas chambers but throw them right in frontal public view, be it the dustbin or the ubiquitous wells dotting Punjab’s landscape.
We need legislation which should be effective and not the impotent spineless one which is in place which is circumvented by a few hundred under the table. The deeper problem of gender discrimination needs to be addressed. Sex-selection occurs when modernization moves ahead of sense of equity. Wake up from this slumber, the sloth which has seeped into our conscience and has turned us all into silent but equal guilty partners.
RavneetSangha
The who, what, where which way the society can change has been outlined by a panel of the society who from all walks of life answer this question asked on female feticide when a survey was carried on a social networking site.
Yudhveer Shergill need to open a school for the mother in laws,don't think there are too many men who don't want daughters
Sukhjeet Sunny Brar I believe this is related to the literacy levels, we need to educate more folks...coz basically female fetecide is a ruthless killing by doing this we are killing infinite more of our very own generation and those to come.
Surinder Dulai
@yudhveer -you got it right..spot on! dasughters bring joy a thousandfold!
@sukhjeet ji- everyone is involved..all levels of litereacy..and yes, who knows what the future holds...the ratio of girls to boys are scary..what a mess!
@Ravneet -s...See more
Romel Kaur take action on those nursing homes and hospitals which perform gender tests.. cancel their licence to practice..
Ronnie Kairon all i can say is a girl is the most beautiful thing god created if we carry on with all this by the end of the Era there wont be any men either.
Navneet Dhillon Root cause is the Social Structure. Its a male dominated society and low literacy level accentuates the complexity of the problem.The mind set has to change. Education is the solution ... Kerala is example !
Mani Virk I like Yudhveer's comment......a school needed ......to educate elder women first......we cannot blame the male dominance only behind this heinous act, contribution by females is even more shocking...
Manju Kalkat Dhatt A woman is the worst enemy of another woman ,we all need to change our mind set . Let us vow to fight it out .....
Tanu Cheema If most men are happy with daughter's , what keeps them from voicing their opinion to their mothers ? After all if their moms are trying to 'protect' their sons from the 'burden' of raising a daughter, shouldn't the sons hold their own to protect their unborn daughters ?
Sunaina Sood Bawa we all can set an example by looking after ourselves on the body mind and spiritual level ......
Navneet Dhillon It re iterates my point ... if education is not the answer... the answer is to change the Social Structure... which in turn will be possible with a better outlook ... Education is the means to the end.... not the end itself.
Preet Inder Dhillon This issue needs to be rewritten ,revocalised until d dogmatic and narrow mindset of our people undergoes a change....by ruthlessly killing d female fetus in d consecrated womb itself, we r killing an infinite mre of our generations..."her" death mourns d dilatory demise of humanity....
Yogeet Brar Ravneet...we are talking of the birth....what about after the birth....many a times its too late in the pregnancy,and the baby is carried full term, the trauma faced by the mother during that time ,,,and also after the birth ,the brunt is felt entirely by the mother and the unwanted child,repeatedly,relentlessly...i mean can you even imagine...living..at times i feel young mothers....foresee this and give in to the procedure...motherhood prevails even in the heinous act...we need to take care of both
rupinder dandiwal: this is a deeprooted issue which cannot be pinned on point , it is male -dominated society and we need to first of all change the mindset to proceed further..
ravneetsangha
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Babaji and his entourage of faithful walk into the newly spruced drawing –room with the pre-requisite lilies and orchids in place all flanked with the fragrant tea- candles. The flowers were a marvel with the dew-drops entrapped in their virgin blooms set in long crystal vases the pride of Nandini and the envy of her friends who were all sitting in attendance. The room was decorated keeping in mind the opulence of the family name but balanced in subtle ways to receive Babaji. The very fact that babaji was visiting her home had elevated her social position in town and she had arranged a sattvic tea for everyone. Everything was organically sourced, a point she kept on making again and again and served in ethnic stoneware from Jaipur. The theme was cream and she was resplendent in the latest creation from Wendell Roderick’s new Kunba sari (the long-lost sari revived by the designer as a tribute to the heritage of the small state). The mere presence of a Guru makes us reach for our pockets and we will in-voluntarily empty out them in search for appeasing the inner fear which resides in us all.
How come, it is easy to spend an obscene amount on the surroundings to receive him and then to arrange offerings and then offer monetary sums just to appease the conscious? Why do we feel that giving donations one will guarantee the washing away of our sins? Or is it that this monetary sum equals the ‘ paap’ we want to erase. How easy it would be? To commit a sin and then make these little gestures. Why have we all become so hypocritical? Just because, someone walks in wearing the attire of a saint, does that automatically by default ensure of his purity and sanctity of thought? Why are we all willing to be fooled into paying homage and giving vast sums of money in cash or kind.. Isn’t it another ego trip albeit a more powerful one? The mere seduction of being one up on the next one by giving more and then loudly claiming it ; is this what charity is all about?
A poor man walks all day long to sell his wares but we will insist on haggling with him because that poor man in his tattered dirty clothes is trying to swindle us out of a few Rs. Winning the epic battle by saving a mere few rs out of one’s air conditioned chauffer driven car gives us immense pleasure and to some an orgasmic kick!!
I don’t want to sermonize or sound like a sanctimonious prick but seriously look within, why have all forgotten that these poor people did not choose this status. They are poor out of circumstance and out of choice (apart from the Leftist, I say!!). And, do not say, karam / previous birth’s deeds. They need our compassion, our love and some kind benevolence. Next time around, when we go to the Gurudwara, Mandir, or the place of worship of your choice give some there as offering but spare some change for the poor guy sitting outside. Do not stop your hand from reaching in to your fat wallet to pay them some. We all need to look within, to retrospect and to make the change
Trust me try it, the smile is worth a lot and let that veneer of to become less hardened, little less sophisticated and give into impulse…..materialism melt….
How come, it is easy to spend an obscene amount on the surroundings to receive him and then to arrange offerings and then offer monetary sums just to appease the conscious? Why do we feel that giving donations one will guarantee the washing away of our sins? Or is it that this monetary sum equals the ‘ paap’ we want to erase. How easy it would be? To commit a sin and then make these little gestures. Why have we all become so hypocritical? Just because, someone walks in wearing the attire of a saint, does that automatically by default ensure of his purity and sanctity of thought? Why are we all willing to be fooled into paying homage and giving vast sums of money in cash or kind.. Isn’t it another ego trip albeit a more powerful one? The mere seduction of being one up on the next one by giving more and then loudly claiming it ; is this what charity is all about?
A poor man walks all day long to sell his wares but we will insist on haggling with him because that poor man in his tattered dirty clothes is trying to swindle us out of a few Rs. Winning the epic battle by saving a mere few rs out of one’s air conditioned chauffer driven car gives us immense pleasure and to some an orgasmic kick!!
I don’t want to sermonize or sound like a sanctimonious prick but seriously look within, why have all forgotten that these poor people did not choose this status. They are poor out of circumstance and out of choice (apart from the Leftist, I say!!). And, do not say, karam / previous birth’s deeds. They need our compassion, our love and some kind benevolence. Next time around, when we go to the Gurudwara, Mandir, or the place of worship of your choice give some there as offering but spare some change for the poor guy sitting outside. Do not stop your hand from reaching in to your fat wallet to pay them some. We all need to look within, to retrospect and to make the change
Trust me try it, the smile is worth a lot and let that veneer of to become less hardened, little less sophisticated and give into impulse…..materialism melt….
Monday, November 8, 2010
What exactly is Domestic Violence? It is the violence happening within the home towards a family member and can be physical, sexual and emotional in nature. Domestic violence against women is what it is associated with 99.9% of the time. In Punjab the scenario is extremely shocking and economic prosperity isn’t always a sign of social progress. The social fabric of Punjab is minutely interwoven with the threads of class, caste and community. Another factor is that status of women is not defined as there is an absence of a homogenous social cultural and economic structure. There are huge regional differences in this tiny state which may seem large –hearted but is quite small. The obvious diversities in women’s situation in the different regions of the State extend to health, literacy, education and sex-ratio of mortality, employment, incidence of poverty, political participation and so forth. These are all in turn dependent on the existing levels of development, availability of natural resources, policies of the state government and regional socio- economic beliefs.
The recent gender study of 2006 indicates that dowry deaths, torture or cruel treatment of women in northern states including Delhi and some Union territories such as Chandigarh, Daman and Diu, Dadra leads to shorter life span in adult women. The southern states have a longer life, better sex –ratios, for that matter the tribal groups also have a better ratio than the women of Punjab due to the historical prevalence of matrilineal, women’s control over property and resources and their greater participation in decision making.
The success of the Green Revolution had provided an impetus in economic jump to the Punjabis but relegated the Punjabi women into the private domain. They lost their economic independence, and their higher status within their class, because with increased income, and consequent higher social status for the families as whole, women were the first to be withdrawn from the work force as symbols of the newly gains status.
Violence is an integral part of the patriarchal work system and Punjab is one of the most feudal states maybe in stiff competition to Haryana .Previously she had to bear the family or the culture but now the market forces have also ganged up against her ..The use of PNDT Techniques resulting in female feticide. In other words the modernization, urbanization has resulted in increase in violence be it at home, or the workplace or sexual harassment at Workplace, Molestation and Eve Teasing. Another factor is the increase in alcohol and psychotropic drugs which has resulted in increase in menace. Women in Punjab also face the pressure due to patriarchal and feudal values which are prevalent and women are not oriented to come back to their parental house in case of dispute with her husband and in-laws and since either there are very less support systems available they either bear the torture or commit suicide. This was highlighted by Dr. Gurcharan S. Kalkat, Chairman Farmer’s Commission Punjab. In his extensive public life he has come to this conclusion that girls/ women feel alienated and left out due to the pressures of societal mechanisms. In a span of a day and half two women reported under conditions of anonymity of the torture meted out to them by their in-laws and husbands. Gurdev K. Sangha in her present tenure as Punjab State women Commission states that there is violation of liberty, human rights and violence leading to physical blows. Nandini( name changed) , has a leading position in the media was so severely beaten up by her husband that the Dr. in attendance was stunned and warned her that any further blow would leave her a paraplegic. .This senseless violence is not limited to a single class or it’s not demarcated to the lower middle classes, the rich are also prey to it. Women in the higher strata are actually more submissive to this kind of pain which leaves physical scars but has deeper mental ones. The department in a leading private hospital in Chandigarh states that 75% of the depression cases are of abuse which is more often emotional and there is a rising incidence of physical abuse and harassment.
Punjab is also being known as the NRI widow state where the plight of abused married girls who are deserted by their husbands who actually to put it crudely enjoy with them for the stipulated 3-week holiday and then leaves them waiting. This is an alarming situation in the state of Punjab where 42% of the girls get trapped into these so called savior marriages. The commission states that poverty; lure of a foreign country and promises of more money and the ultimate dream of immigration makes these young girls the scape goat.
There is not a single day when we do not hear or read about Domestic Violence against women. Be it for the cruelty of husbands and in-laws for dowry or burning the brides irrespective of culture or background women in India are becoming victims of this crime. The submissive quality in women in India and the general mindset of the society that women are physically and emotionally weaker than the males make them vulnerable to domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a silent termite eating away the foundations of the society leaving the framework with its vestiges of public personas and façade intact but sadly empty, hollow from the inside which would crumble at the first blow.This problem which we can’t conveniently blame anyone or the aliens or the Martians. The onus of this problem lies on us ; it’s the collective us which turn a blind eye .the sheer indifference which is plaguing the society is the root cause of the rise of domestic violence , the abuse goes along unabated as unless it happens to someone close incidents like are skimmed over. Indian women consider their husbands in place of their God. How can we expect Domestic violence to end when women are still reluctant to report abuse to the police and suffer as if it is their duty to their husbands? Another interesting factor the psychiatrists note is that there is an innate sense of shame in reporting this or the first step in even admitting that abuse exists in the relationship.
Vijay a veteran in the department of Women’s commission has horrifying tales to tell which prick the soul and he remarks,’ Women are treated , abused with electric prods, burnt, starved and in some cases which are being brought to light are used as sex-slaves. This degradation of women is in the region which reveres the largest amount of Goddesses in India. The increasing criminalization of society, media images of violence, poor enforcement of legal provision and rising incidents of alcoholism and addiction along with erosion of traditional values have all added to this violence which is silent but at the same time is creating large noise to which we all need to waken up to.
As Gandhiji said, ‘We must be the change we want to see in the world.” It is up to all of us to take collective, positive responsibility to change the status of women and not be passive bystanders. And as , change is messy do not get deterred by it but change with what you have , where you are and let the natural order of things fall in place. No action is small it actually perpetuates a storm.
Ravneet Sangha
The recent gender study of 2006 indicates that dowry deaths, torture or cruel treatment of women in northern states including Delhi and some Union territories such as Chandigarh, Daman and Diu, Dadra leads to shorter life span in adult women. The southern states have a longer life, better sex –ratios, for that matter the tribal groups also have a better ratio than the women of Punjab due to the historical prevalence of matrilineal, women’s control over property and resources and their greater participation in decision making.
The success of the Green Revolution had provided an impetus in economic jump to the Punjabis but relegated the Punjabi women into the private domain. They lost their economic independence, and their higher status within their class, because with increased income, and consequent higher social status for the families as whole, women were the first to be withdrawn from the work force as symbols of the newly gains status.
Violence is an integral part of the patriarchal work system and Punjab is one of the most feudal states maybe in stiff competition to Haryana .Previously she had to bear the family or the culture but now the market forces have also ganged up against her ..The use of PNDT Techniques resulting in female feticide. In other words the modernization, urbanization has resulted in increase in violence be it at home, or the workplace or sexual harassment at Workplace, Molestation and Eve Teasing. Another factor is the increase in alcohol and psychotropic drugs which has resulted in increase in menace. Women in Punjab also face the pressure due to patriarchal and feudal values which are prevalent and women are not oriented to come back to their parental house in case of dispute with her husband and in-laws and since either there are very less support systems available they either bear the torture or commit suicide. This was highlighted by Dr. Gurcharan S. Kalkat, Chairman Farmer’s Commission Punjab. In his extensive public life he has come to this conclusion that girls/ women feel alienated and left out due to the pressures of societal mechanisms. In a span of a day and half two women reported under conditions of anonymity of the torture meted out to them by their in-laws and husbands. Gurdev K. Sangha in her present tenure as Punjab State women Commission states that there is violation of liberty, human rights and violence leading to physical blows. Nandini( name changed) , has a leading position in the media was so severely beaten up by her husband that the Dr. in attendance was stunned and warned her that any further blow would leave her a paraplegic. .This senseless violence is not limited to a single class or it’s not demarcated to the lower middle classes, the rich are also prey to it. Women in the higher strata are actually more submissive to this kind of pain which leaves physical scars but has deeper mental ones. The department in a leading private hospital in Chandigarh states that 75% of the depression cases are of abuse which is more often emotional and there is a rising incidence of physical abuse and harassment.
Punjab is also being known as the NRI widow state where the plight of abused married girls who are deserted by their husbands who actually to put it crudely enjoy with them for the stipulated 3-week holiday and then leaves them waiting. This is an alarming situation in the state of Punjab where 42% of the girls get trapped into these so called savior marriages. The commission states that poverty; lure of a foreign country and promises of more money and the ultimate dream of immigration makes these young girls the scape goat.
There is not a single day when we do not hear or read about Domestic Violence against women. Be it for the cruelty of husbands and in-laws for dowry or burning the brides irrespective of culture or background women in India are becoming victims of this crime. The submissive quality in women in India and the general mindset of the society that women are physically and emotionally weaker than the males make them vulnerable to domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a silent termite eating away the foundations of the society leaving the framework with its vestiges of public personas and façade intact but sadly empty, hollow from the inside which would crumble at the first blow.This problem which we can’t conveniently blame anyone or the aliens or the Martians. The onus of this problem lies on us ; it’s the collective us which turn a blind eye .the sheer indifference which is plaguing the society is the root cause of the rise of domestic violence , the abuse goes along unabated as unless it happens to someone close incidents like are skimmed over. Indian women consider their husbands in place of their God. How can we expect Domestic violence to end when women are still reluctant to report abuse to the police and suffer as if it is their duty to their husbands? Another interesting factor the psychiatrists note is that there is an innate sense of shame in reporting this or the first step in even admitting that abuse exists in the relationship.
Vijay a veteran in the department of Women’s commission has horrifying tales to tell which prick the soul and he remarks,’ Women are treated , abused with electric prods, burnt, starved and in some cases which are being brought to light are used as sex-slaves. This degradation of women is in the region which reveres the largest amount of Goddesses in India. The increasing criminalization of society, media images of violence, poor enforcement of legal provision and rising incidents of alcoholism and addiction along with erosion of traditional values have all added to this violence which is silent but at the same time is creating large noise to which we all need to waken up to.
As Gandhiji said, ‘We must be the change we want to see in the world.” It is up to all of us to take collective, positive responsibility to change the status of women and not be passive bystanders. And as , change is messy do not get deterred by it but change with what you have , where you are and let the natural order of things fall in place. No action is small it actually perpetuates a storm.
Ravneet Sangha
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