R.I.P.

R.I.P.

Rest In peace; the newest /oldest abbreviation which one uses to discharge one’s duty to absolve one of the obligation towards the departed. These days, keeping in mind the pace of life, which is so fast that it is whizzing by and all one can offer is condolences on the web page via social networking, a SMS or the quickest a three-word abbreviation.

Who suffers? Who gets affected? Do we pay attention to the events that led to a person to take the extreme step of committing suicide? What did Akanksha feel, why was she at the lowest ebb that she ended her life, not even giving a thought to her son her parents who have been left behind?

It all remains a mystery, never to be solved, etched forever on the annals of history.

Why has the society become so hard, so nonchalant over the passing away of an educated computer literate woman who was loved by many? Her passing away has led to her students being shocked, stunned and upset. The deep scar that this incident has left needs to be looked into, as these nubile young minds get impressed and it makes them question the holy grail of Indian society aka Matrimony.

Is marriage fundamentally important for the continuation of the species? What does a women get? Does she get security, love, most importantly self respect, a respect of the fact that forget that she is a woman but first of all she is a human being?

Where did in the scheme of things, did humanity, society forget this? Why have we all go so wrapped in our cubby holes of lives that these things don’t touch us than a mere candle light vigil, a face book page, a passing drawing room reference and the customary obligatory tsk tsks?

In fact, the Indian society is so de- sensitized that nothing shocks us. Nancy Chawla Sarkaria, remarks, ‘what a shame. So unfortunate that society hasn’t changed much. Wish there was a way to educate these people (men and women both).

Yes, education is the key step, but what happens when an educated women ends her life after mental physical harassment to bring dowry or is tortured. Akanksha did this. She is one of those innumerous statistics, which make material for thesis done by researchers or power point presentations, but are the so-called perpetuators ever brought to justice.

As a society to move forward to be free of mind spirit we need to take strict action. It is easy to blame the women and say she needed to be strong and till we are in the person’s footsteps it is not decent to comment. I blame the law, the connections that allow one to escape, to have a delayed sentence or the most convenient excuse: shortness of breath leading to angina. Get a life! Till we do not value women as an equal all the farce of development is just eyewash. A country that talks of reservation, of development for women is indeed making a mockery of the tenets of the constitution, which laid the foundations of the youngest democracy of the world. India can only be great only and only if women are safe and allowed to live, love to lead a life that is sanctified by the Creator. A woman is as equal as a man and to put a value in monetary terms is derogatory. It’s like buying cattle.

I wish and pray that we do wake up form the slumber which has infested all of us that we pass a glance and move to the next news thinking fleetingly that this keeps on happening. Changing one’s own attitude is the first step and collectively we might come back on track to save other Akanksha’s , who live , loved and lost.

Who is to Be Blamed

Who Is To Be Blamed?

At first glance, Sonia ( resident Dhina Jalandhar) looks like a normal young woman, dressed fashionably in a pair of black jeans and a hot pink top. . Well, look again, she is unwell, she is not fashionably slim in accordance with today’s standards, but suffers from malnutrition, she has scars on her face, has unhealthy limp lackluster hair. 

Her young life till today is full of horrors untold. Just like someone’s imagination gone riot. It is a journey full of exploitation, blind faith in quacks who dupe gullible villagers to make a quick buck resulting in a young girls tragedy; whereby she loses her eyesight. At the age of 7years, Sonia a young happy to go girl had gone to attend a wedding, where after consuming something she fellill for two days straight, vomiting constantly. The end result, a weak girl robbed of her eyesight. She had been given some poison, a black magic worked on her so that a young girl could get married and find a suitable groom. Is this blind faith? Superstition?

Trouble always comes in three, they say. Her father fell ill with asthma, heart problem. Her mother has a degenerative disease whereby her legs have no skin on them she can’t walk. They used to sew footballs , earning a meager measly Rs6 per stitched football.  The whole family was engaged in this local industry, as is the case in villages nearby to Jalandhar.

She learned to stitch footballs by touch. In the year 2002, before the World Cup kicked off, the young girl became an icon for the world to stop Child Labor. She went to Japan and Korea having been rescued by a social organization called the Volunteers for Social Justice, an NGO in Punjab in partner with Global March (international). The BBC also highlighted her plight by featuring her in a documentary which was viewed allover the world by millions. She, at that time wanted to study further to become a lawyer to fight injustice, to be financially independent. This crusade started, made the football companies responsible to end child labor worldwide.  Her story, plight was highlighted in papers abroad for example The International Herald Tribune (Tokyo, June 1 2001).

More than ten years have passed and she has done her schooling, trained as a telephone operator so that she can earn a living, but the drive to be a graduate drives her. She has enrolled in the local college, and with the support of the Local MLA Pargat Singh and the Rotary chapter her first year’s fees has been paid.

Sonia asks a few questions which are souls searching. Why was she made a scapegoat to earn money, of which she never saw a penny? Why has the society as a whole become so desensitized that we just shrug off a disability as a way to make money? Why do we think that it’s just a way to make a fast buck?

Have we as a nation lost our empathy towards genuine-ness? It pains to see a human being who has all the dreams and aspirations like the rest of us left to live with no color, worried that where she might work, she might be subject to molestation ? Are women not safe? Why has humanity lost its morals?

Incredible India - Growth story

Incredible India

What are about this country, which makes me defend it, all costs? Why do I bristle and get annoyed and raise my shackles to defend this country? Why do countless soldiers, army men, die defending its borders? Why do we all have the Indian ‘jazba’?

It’s around the corner, Independence day the day we got free from dictators who ruled us for two hundred years bleeding us die and plundering us taking it to their island. A divide and rule policy made them strong but an uprising and united front led to a change which set the tone for a new nation who has led to the front in all spheres under the developed countries nose. Shiv Pratap ,a Chandigarh based lawyer quotes John F Kennedy and says,” Ask not what your country can do for you…but what you can do for your country .”

We have been thumbed on every front over corruption, lack of facilities, poverty, minimal education and water and the worst of all people who sleep hungry at night and do not get two square meals a day. Yes, we are guilty and are guilty of all the accusations and more allegations you put on my country but, hey! See where we were when we started and where we have come. India is the only country in the world where people of different faiths religion and beliefs co –exist. Where we have incidents of racism, hatred and killings on the name of religion (the biggest divider of all) we also have stories, real life incidents and no concocted Bolly wood movies where a Hindu neighbor saves a Muslim brother. There are countless horror stories that get buried under good Samaritan acts where Hindus saved Sikhs.

Why do we love bringing out the negative and sound like a stereotype Westerner who always will look at the superficial and say how dirty India is? Well, not all of India is dirty; all that is India is not Slum dog.  Ask , Martha  a Spanish woman who has made India her home and hearth setting up a business, a family and i sin love with the culture and the mysteries of India. She says, ‘India is like a woman all secrets , some good, some bad but very desirable’. Once you are here , you get hooked . Amrita Atwal, a crusader lover of animals quotes Faiz and gives us hope that the next generation carries this fervor. She says,’ Do speak up, for your lips/thoughts are yet free

Do speak up, for your tongue is still yours

Do Speak, for your strong body is your own

And must speak, as your soul is still yours,

Heed the blacksmiths’ shop

Scorching flames turn the iron red hot

Tearing open the (jaws of) locks

every chain thus begins to break

time to speak, for this brief time is long enough

Just before your body and words die

do speak, for the truth still

must speak up, say what you must.

India is a country with the most beautiful diverse scenery possible in a country’s borders. From the northern tip of the imposing majestic Himalayas, to the southern beauty of the royal states who mesmerize with their temples and architecture to the sweeping East and the West and the heart Of India where wonders enchant at every nook and corner. We as a country are friendly, proud, always living with hope and zeal to succeed. An Indian will always fight the odds and comes through.   If , all that you want to see is the dirt well that’s what you will see but India has shown remarkable progress and success in its enterpreunial stories and its advancement in science and technology with the few who stayed back and the ones who are coming back. Highlight this independence day, the advancement in health, medicine, science, development in nano technology and the fact that the elusive intelligent Indian who left its shore is coming back to set up labs.  We have success stories in the  form of Dr Flora and his wife coming back in the field of biotechnology and scientists coming up to set up labs in humane genome mapping. There is also an Indian involved in the Mars Curiosity landing! Dr . Dhallu an NRI form England is still nostalgic about his growing up days in Punjab.

Shiv Pratap , a lawyer aptly sums up , "India was the motherland of our race, and Sanskrit the mother of Europe's languages: she was the mother of our philosophy; mother, through the Arabs, of much of our mathematics; mother, through the Buddha, of the ideals embodied in Christianity; mother, through the village community, of self-government and democracy. Mother India is in many ways the mother of us all"

This Independence Day stand up with pride, we made this country not some alien look alike from outer space aka the Rover that just landed at Mars. If we, don’t stand up and fight for our pride, and this nation and stop using the freedom fighters and martyrs as bargaining chips during election rallies as emotional attyachar we will all progress and say with pride that we live in Incredible India and that also Dil se.

Jai Hind.

Ps: I was not paid by the Government to sell India , this comes straight from the heart as a realist and not as an Utopian dreamer.

Independence Day '12

I teach a bunch of kids in the evening, and as is my practice after the lesson asked them to write an essay on what else, Independence Day. One takes so much for granted. I thought it would be easy peasey, you know the regular lines to write, after all we all know about this one. Imagine, and this is no ode to John Lennon, and nothing of the regular lines about independence, freedom, a country where mind is held high, free all that.

“Independence for them is a festival in a country where there are many festivals like Diwali, holi , shivratri. It is a festival like that. Independence day is got after freedom fighter quarrel with British.”

Reading all these lines, in the same fashion conveying, sheer ignorance has left me sad. Is this the future? Was the fight worth it? Did the freedom fighters, martyrs envision this? Why is patriotism not taught? Why are children of today, the future of tomorrow not taught about the struggle, the fight and the win? And, here I am not talking about the elite schools of the country but of the real India. Real India can only progress, when we educate them. This is the only way we can become advanced and all the ills are finished, not over night but gradually. The economic bus, which we should have boarded fifteen years ago, has been missed not because of opportunities but lack of education. Imagine, one generation missing out just because they are illiterate; all stuck in the yoke of life, just eking out subsistence barely.

This episode today has left me sad , disappointed in ;not the children but in the teachers who just follow a curriculum , not even stepping out of the boundary a teeny weeny bit .

Can there be a change/…..

There is something about Mary

There is something about Mary! Mary had a little lamb, Mary Mary quite contrary, and has course the iconic Mother Mary.

All these have another Mary to their list, forget the nursery rhymes, forget Cameron Diaz as Mary we have our own homegrown Mary Kom, a pint size diminutive boxer who won the hearts of billions by winning us a medal. She further did something, which has made her a permanent resident in our hearts. She apologized to the nation for not winning the Gold.

Did she need to do this? Did she have to play, practice spar for hours, hours? The passion, the grit and resilience to pick herself up again and again only makes wonder. She commands respect and more respect, for picking herself singlehandedly out of penury to play.

Life for a woman is not at all roses in this country. We are conditioned to ease ourselves into roles like studying (little bit) be fully versed in house hold chores, rear children, be a mother, wife, sister, daughter, daughter in-law and in some cases be a servant, a multi –tasker all her life. To think of playing, is waste of time. In fact, girls who were boxers were asked to sere tea and wash up afterwards in a function. Do we come with an invisible sign on our forehead which blinks to the world saying, this is our forte’, please let us do this.

Why this inequality and segregation?

Mary Kom proved her grit, her talent, her killer instinct not once but five times in a row, like a Borg or Fed-ex. Did we adulate then? Give her a special diet, no, give her extra benefits, no.

And now we all want a piece of her. Yes, she is ours, a one woman army whose killer instinct, and the ability to not get puzzled and to face the opponent squarely has made her the next pin-up poster girl. How many other Mary Kom’s live quietly with no say, squashed under the voice of tradition, moral strictures that bind us with invisible ties, tethering us to the yoke of these boundaries which in recent times are getting stricter. Let us live, I say.

Mary Kom’s energy, her sparring, her footwork and her lunges are a treat to watch. India, a country full of ignorance, more than half of us would be hard pressed to finger Manipur on the map, a state near the Myanmar border. A state wrongly tweeted by Big B himself. A state that has the largest all women markets in south Asia. A state which has Irom sharmila protesting against the atrocities committed by the Indian Army against the women of her state. A state, which had women fighters fighting against the Britishers in 1904, and 1939.

Look at the state on the map, and remember it and then embrace her as an Indian! I would also ask everyone to be sensitive in their racist remarks, to all of our Northeastern n brethren. Trust me, they do eat, live breath like yes and us, and also sing the same national anthem. Give her respect and remember to salute this gritty women who won by her own individual efforts playing a sport like the million dollar baby remembering the woman in her (painting her nails and wearing fluorescent laces)!

Respect, is all we can give her. Salute these sportsmen and support the corner girl who has a Mary Kom in her too.

NIsha aur uski ram Kahaani

She wondered where life was leading her. I mean think about it, one had to be size zero, challo at least a size 4, thin but not so thin a butt and boobs to match. Didn’t one have to eat to sustain this law of shape and attraction? I wish, there was an app where you could send the weight to the required place and the rest could be deleted! Ok, the advertisement for the new Beetle proudly said, Curves are back but did any available guy want them?

They all had a long list, men wanted curvaceous women not too big not too small, just right. Where did one go for this kind of definition, by the way? Miyan ji nukkad wale had no answer, and he knew a lot. If one just went by the long long, white beard and toothless grin and the paan stained lips which just moved mysteriously saying Allah! Allah! . One had to be successful but also had to be wonder woman at home doing, cooking cleaning and keeping everything spic n span.

How was Nisha going to compete with all this? She was just an ordinary person, not too fair not too dark. She wasn’t well endowed in any department according to the flat wallahs, she was ok. She had God’s given curves in all the wrong places. Her boobs were ok, nothing great, no pin up material. Didn’t heavy breasts give a backache? Her butt was round Aka the 60’s actresses, Sadhana ji type.

She had a job, nothing great, a copywriter in the town’s biggest advertising company. Stuck in an office where the men were oily haired, with small and big paunches in ratio to their ages who were always downloading ‘those sites’ and were always sniggering when the bai ji walked in and cleaned showing her ample bosom to one and all. She certainly believed in democracy, no censorship here if you please.

In fact you could sum up her life as ok. Her mother’s obsessive behavior bordering on Auntyji psychotic soap opera wali and Dad’s simple silent submissive smile ruled her mornings and evenings.

She just wanted to live her life with no boundaries, rules that so governed her right now. The latest was this bespectacled, fat, ugly broker in Delhi who was an innocent divorcee. What an oxymoron.

2.

Innocent divorcee, my foot. Why did she have to marry? No bells rung, no cupids arrow, nothing happened when she these men, and she was straight as an arrow, no hanky panky, she didn’t even want to think about the new age fundamental about women and women, men and men. That was ‘tauba tauba’.

Nisha was sitting on her throne, “Queen Of potty” as her brother said. Her mother banging on the door and that snapped her out of the reverie and she said, “Coming’.

Hurry up! Sunita is coming. Nisha groaned thinking about the beautician who knew her last every beauty secret and horror. Her pimples, acne scars, hiding her big forehead with those bangs and all the guinea pig trials to make her look glamorous.

Ok, Aayi Mataji, she replied.  She knew there was no way out and she had to meet Mr. Oily paunchwallah.

She came out and went to her room, trying to make some space on her bed that had a zillion things on it. She also needed to find something flattering to wear, maybe a long shirt to her butt with her tights or the not so new blue suit that always did wonders for her morale.  Sunita walked in with a number of bags with all the things to make one transform. She lay down and waited for the magic. Well, magic she did do and she looked presentable. Mr. Oily was coming in half and hour, she sat down waiting and looked at her mother fluttering about and setting the cushions right.

India, no country for athletes?

India, no country for athletes

India, a country bursting at its seems, has a population of 1.2 billion, where 600 million do not know where they are getting there next meal. We expect miracles as every God fearing individual on this land. How do we expect our athletes to perform miracles, to bring back laurels for its people when we have no dedicated program to support these athletes? Apart from cricket which has more money pumped in than the poorer states of India; all others survive on pittance.

One hears of horror stories of no ration, lack of empathy from the officials, where players have to literally beg for awards aka Vijay Singh who asked before leaving for the Olympics that how many medals would he need to win before getting a state honor so as to uplift his financial condition?  The government sleeps and then raises the hype before any important event without having a dedicated program. Talking to an Olympian who shone throughout the world, and is considered to be one of the best fullbacks of the Indian hockey team and captained the Indian National Hockey Team in the Olympics in 1992, 1996. He expresses his views in a harsh and stern way saying that till we do not have a consolidated, concerted effort which is consistent and sustainable leading to the all round development nothing will come. We will not win any medals .The ones, which are won, are on the basis of sheer grit, determination and single-minded focus.

Pargat, when asked about the continuing dismal performance says it is all because of lack of super-specialization unlike China which has a multi –pronged disciplinary committee which is supported by most importantly government backing and funds to ensure smooth functioning. He says, until unless the dietary intake is not improved, the athletes will not sustain.

A holistic, all balanced, complete intake of diet and super specialization will convert the athletes into super athletes to realize the dreams of billions. Also, most importantly Pargat says it has to be consistent day in and day out year after year not like the frogs that come out in the monsoons!

Bond of Strength

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Bond of strength
Ravneet Sangha ravneetsangha@hotmail.com
Hindustan Times (Chandigarh)
2 Aug 2012
It’s that time of the year when we are reminded of the sacred bond between brothers and sisters. Back from work, was surprised to read on the Net several posts which said Raksha Bandhan was a demeaning tradition for women and lowered their status in...read more...

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