The higher ground

Every day the sun comes up, we are faced with infinite options, choices to make, and paths to follow that ultimately set the journey for us. Today after, evening class, a young girl came up to me, shy at first and then she hung her head down in sadness and starter crying softly and then big loud sobs. I asked her what had happened; that she was crying so much. She replied that her mother had suffered a heart attack and she had no one to turn to as her father was working in Oman and the money doesn’t come every month, but after three months. She had no one to turn to.

 I told her to come with her mother s reports, because I knew that she needed to be calmed down and I needed to make the call whether to give in or not. A family friend had given me the best advice to follow; he had said to always take the higher ground and to follow one’s heart. Well, it was evening, time and even if the sun beats fearlessly during the day, dusk falls swiftly and sharply in the villages. During my evening chores, I kept on thinking about her and her mother and what if I didn’t give the money her mother would go worse? On the other hand, one part of me kept on saying No, maybe she is making a fool out of you because how can she be alone?

However, I gave in and helped her monetarily and when I looked at the reports, it was a case of high blood pressure with lots of tests written on it. We all have our inner voice and we need to just listen to it. Let it live, let it breathe, it sure leaves a fuzzy warm feeling and you know about money well, it always will come back!The scriptures say we should do our karma and not count our results.

The smile in Nisha’s eyes and her gratitude well cant is explained. Of course, a lot of you will think I’m a sucker for sob stories, broken wings. Yes, I am.

Spoilt Tweens !! invasion in India

We live in an age where the world is spinning faster and faster, we all want instant gratification and we want it now or in some cases before the actual moment. As a mother of a teenager and a young adult, I have come to realize the mantra is getting things right now. Technology available to us is delivering fast results. This means we are accustomed to getting what we want at our fingertips. Disposable Income means we are buying things instantly without having to budget, save and to buy later. Today’s teen is a spoilt child, who wants things and with the external bombarding of clever marketing that scores in the product again and again the kid is convinced that he or she cannot survive without the product. A whole new wide world is available to them, and they are not shy of voicing their opinion. .

Once upon a time, children were seen and not meant to be heard, parents were the masters of the house, and youngsters did what they were told to do. But slowly, and slowly the power balance is changing and it has shifted to them subtly. A new study shows 7-14 years have more power on their parents than before. . More than half of them confess that they are influenced by what their children want in the manner of groceries, what they want to eat. Children also say they want the ‘it’ product of their times where the possession of that personalize/ bespoke product will singularly set them apart and set them apart from their peers. Societal pressures dictate how they should dress, what to wear what to do and how to behave, the way they should speak. Marketing hype demands and states the law for the teenagers to have that it product.

Kids dictate what laptop to buy, mobile phone to carry.

56% of the kids want instant gratification and they want to spend their time on their virtual umbilical cord connection to the www. You never know, what one may miss when they were talking or heaven forbid conversing with the family, someone might have just posted a status update.

This generation is called the dumbest generation. It is a paradox of the times- we have the maximum advantage of education, learning political action, cultural activity, but also on the same hand instead of using the world wide web to learn as a center of knowledge we are using it as a place of gossip, follow pop culture, relentlessly keeping up with ever shifting lingua- franca of being school / college.

Social life is the most tempting to and to miss out is the most painful. This peer- to –peer activity is worrisome, as it stifles one, kids seek out what they want, want it fast, and with minimum effort.

They do so with bad spellings, civic illiteracy and a complete disregard of family and endless postings of trivia. Educators, parents need to not ignore this down ward spiral, and they need to check this only by checking themselves. How many times, have you while the commercial comes, started surfing the net meaninglessly?

We can get students to raise the bar, delay their gratification, by being there for them to begin with for starters. It’s all about parenting , and we need to take a leaf from our parents lives . Children must be taught how to think, and not what to think. Margaret Mead.

Happy Happy Birthday India!

Happy Happy Birthday India!

Finally a day to rejoice to remember what it means to be utterly butterly free in this amazing incredible country. Please no moaning and groaning about what all is wrong and be the eternal pessimist and a Dukhi Atman. Just feel good stories if you please. My school kids, made small flags, and one innovative girl made a bird and like a twig the flag was in the beak.

When asked on what else, Face Book the holy grail of our lives, I got lot of positive answers and a greater number of likes. The answers were many but all of them focus on India being a diverse country and the fact that it totally is in sync as one. We hear horror stories and we are upset about roads, development and the roti kapda makan spiel.  But the week before the Independence Day, the entire nation is in the grip of patriotism. And, whatever way to wear the flag, but to have it displayed as the newest identity – the display picture window aka DP. The statuses are all about saare jahan se acha and we all speak as one. The best part of the whole scenario, I feel are the NRI’s who all have a part of mera India in them, sitting millions of miles away, who have carved their identity abroad but still yearn for ‘home’.  A top cardiologist in NY says’

What's NOT to like? Hain??? Prose AND poetry in English, Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu. Music classical AND filmy. Movies parallel and commercial. The varied topography of hills Valleys Rivers deserts forests. The varied culinary feasts. The history, art and otherwise. The melting pot of religion or perhaps the boiling cauldron that gave birth to Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists and sanctuary to Zoroastrian and Parsis and Jews . . . Mera Bharat Mahan. Yan perhaps mera nahin perhaps tera Bharat Mahan…

In fact , on this happy birthday of my desh , the recurring theme with a lot of my friends is the fact that we have so many different  and yummilicious cuisines, nowhere in the world does one find such a vast and varied food choice .

The greatness of India is that we all survive in this diversity , individual , unique but so distinctly the same, comforting and one in a country that is  marked with contrasts starting from topography , to language, to food, to religion and mannerisms. But , something clicks in this country of mine where one passion of cricket makes us crazy fans all rooting, praying in 28 languages to score that last sixer!

Yes, we have our faults , we have our failings but this one ki chidiya still attracts and beguiles, enraptures the world even if you might put it down. The only thing we can do after hitting rock bottom is to go upwards and reach the zenith in the sky . As, they say hope sustains life and what ever better example in a pulsating, vibrant 1.2 billion strong country .

Jai Bharat.

Friendzoned- half girlfriend!

Half Girlfriend

The name itself is catchy and its trending plus the jokes being made on the name and its meanings. I read the name and as always wanted to know more about the book, being a bookaholic these thing s come naturally. And, yes pre –ordered it thanks to the amazing Flip kart. But, its been disturbing me since yesterday.

It’s about the rich lass from Delhi meeting a poor not so fluent in English boy from Bihar and then she agrees to be his half girlfriend! I know it will be an interesting read with his Chetan Bhagat’s unique style, his clear concise reflection on today’s society. But as a mother I find it bizarre.

Already the world has gotten compartmentalized into face book friends, whatsapp group, we chat buddies, and the latest snapchat craze along with instagram followers. On top of this s, he throws a googly at us poor mothers, half girlfriend. A mother of two boys, I wonder what will be the next term coined by the authors.

The pressure to be socially acceptable, to be with it and to have it all and to be successful and to be cool is immense. The number of times, I have been told to relax, to chill and not to take tension is uncountable. Chilling by the way is not the term we grew up with ‘ to lower the temperature and to cool the product. Here it means to take a chill pill and to leave them alone! I am actually living in sub- arctic temperature zone with them around.

Everyday , teaching the underprivileged kids, I try in a small way to bridge the gap between the have and havenots, religion  and the numerous lines we are divided into. Did you know, a balmiki cannot sit with an adharmi , a khatri sikh cannot sit with the balmiki and the adharmis. The Jat Sikhs they are superior to others, the kids from Bihar and UP don’t sit with each other , further away and mind you they all think they are one up on each other . Who taught them all this? Where one should be learning science, and brushing up maths , they worry more about castes and where not to sit . After, a long time they sit together and now in six months they will earn a new word’ half girlfriend’ thanks to a bolly wood movie made on this name. just imagine knowing English and being fluent in it will be the passport to having a full girlfriend.

The burden of a full girlfriend and the criteria thereof is increasing. I think , instead of degrees, boys should enroll in English speaking classes as that is the new divide of the caste barrier ! Even the cricket umpires have been directed to speak in English and with the UPSC aspirants also in arms in or against Englsih , I wonder if the hangover of the Colonials is emerging again. Till then, in sylvan rustic village of Punjab, I am safe .