The monster that is M
It’s something that strikes terror in every woman’s heart . We dread it , and have sleepless nights over it , every other advertisement is to combat it , and to avoid and evade the onslaught and ladies I am not talking about men . We love them, hate them and sometimes they are the bane of our existence but we cant do without them ; I still get confused about the other gender / binary configurations.
Men o pause , menopause is literally men on pause . It’s this weird time where either youre leaking like a faucet , going drip drip or are as dry as the Sahara which is Laos turning miraculously green! I don’t know , there are no in betweens.
One gains weight in all the earth defying ways and then you go to a doctor who tries to tell you it’s cortisol,, stress and just metabolism going slow . I mean who coined these ! Then there is this crazy ting , it like ht flashes, you’re suddenly dripping in sweat or you feel so cold that you think you are an extra in Frozen.
There is no in between , again .
The heart palpitates not because you are love sick or love struck ( after so many years you barely stand each other ) you think you’re going to die .Suddenly anything and everything that can go wrong goes wrong , one is asked to do yoga, how the hell are you supposed to be the Indian Fakir out of TinTin , when everythign hurts and swells up.
It’s like there is a conspiracy going in my body and then my hair are frizzy and have antennas as if Im trying to connect to the green Martians and there is a permanent wave as if I had auditioned for Bellatrix Lestarnge but got cancelled because I wasn’t white enough .
There are hair where there shouldn’t be and hair goes missing where it should be . I’m telling you the billion dollar industry that survives on our insecurities is so tapped out by ladies who are going kamikaze . Magnesium , mood enhancers, CBD gummies, Evening Primrose, shatvari , ashwagnadha and all sorts of seeds soaked in water ,and the right amount of protein vs carbs is driving us . It’s no wonder the fuse is so lit and this is why all the ladies of my generation are into deep breathing , crochet and yoga ! Some also go the other way , they all let go and its ok if the kilos pile up and they discover there artistic side , a this point whatever floats your boat .
If AI could help replace all this , I would happily embrace it . It is the biggest mystery , as women we go through all the pains ,trauma , periods ,hormonal imbalances, literally the mind expands and comes back to normal , and we can bear stress and anxiety and still be called the weaker sex, there is this normal period where don’t hinks it’s all fine china and roses and tea and then boom! Menopause hits us .
And , then the blinkers are off . It’s like a superpower, we don’t tolerate nonsense , have a hyper active intuitive system that can out beat , out rank any spy system
The only fault is somewhere along the line we tend to be a little over sensitive , and dramatic and a bit fluffy !
I am currently thinking about the CBD gummies and to start production where I could give them out free like poppins and that ladies and gentlemen is how I would win the elections in 27 .
