The Monster that is M

 The monster that is M

It’s something that strikes terror in every woman’s heart . We dread it , and have sleepless nights over it , every other advertisement is to combat it , and to avoid and evade the onslaught and ladies I am not talking about men .  We love them, hate them and sometimes they are the bane of our existence but we cant do without them ;  I still get confused about the other gender / binary configurations.

Men o pause , menopause is literally men on pause . It’s this weird time where either youre leaking like a faucet , going drip drip or are as dry as the Sahara which is Laos turning miraculously green! I don’t know , there are no in betweens. 

One gains weight in all the earth defying ways and then you go to a doctor who tries to tell you it’s cortisol,, stress and just metabolism going slow . I mean who coined these ! Then there is this crazy ting , it like ht flashes, you’re suddenly dripping in sweat or you feel so cold that you think you are an extra in Frozen.

There is no in between , again .

The heart palpitates not because you are love sick or love struck ( after so many years you barely stand each other ) you think you’re going to die .Suddenly anything and everything that can go wrong goes wrong , one is asked to do yoga, how the hell are you supposed to be the Indian Fakir out of TinTin , when everythign hurts and swells up.

It’s like there is a conspiracy going in my body and then my hair are frizzy and have antennas as if Im trying to connect to the green Martians and there is a permanent wave as if I had auditioned for Bellatrix Lestarnge but got cancelled because I wasn’t white enough .

There are hair where there shouldn’t be and hair goes missing where it should be . I’m telling you the billion dollar industry that survives on our insecurities is so tapped out by ladies who are going kamikaze . Magnesium , mood enhancers, CBD gummies, Evening Primrose, shatvari , ashwagnadha and all sorts of seeds soaked in water ,and the right amount of protein vs carbs is driving us . It’s no wonder the fuse is so lit and this is why all the ladies of my generation are into deep breathing , crochet and yoga ! Some also go the other way , they all let go and its ok if the kilos pile up and they discover there artistic side , a this point whatever floats your boat . 

If AI could help replace all this , I would happily embrace it . It is the biggest mystery , as women we go through all the pains ,trauma , periods ,hormonal imbalances, literally the mind expands and comes back to normal , and we can bear stress and anxiety and still be called the weaker sex, there is this normal period where don’t hinks it’s all fine china and roses and tea and then boom! Menopause hits us .

And , then the blinkers are off . It’s like a superpower, we don’t tolerate nonsense , have a hyper active intuitive system that can out beat , out rank any spy system

The only fault is somewhere along the line we tend to be a little over sensitive , and dramatic and a bit fluffy ! 

I am currently thinking about the CBD gummies and to start production where I could give them out free like poppins and that ladies and gentlemen is how I would win the elections in 27 . 

Independence Day

 Independence Day 

When I was a young girl which seems a lifetime ago there was so much excitement over Independence Day and the parades and getting up early morning to watch it all. Even if I didn’t understand it just the sheer romanticism of it all. , made me feel good . School functions and the practices  and dressing up for the customary compulsory dance drill just made one feel important . It’s was as if one was the best and was doing something important t. The jazba was real , we believed in the patriotism and having those flags was a thing . Where have we down the ages lost all this?

It’s all a changed scenario , the cynicism has crept in and all we are worried is whether we can call in sick and have a longer weekend. Down the ages , or over the years the spirit of patriotism has left us and is cursory to the mandatory social media share . Of course one does wear the colors of the flag so that th epicure looks good but do we remember our heroes? Not the reel ones but the real ones , the names faceless soldier who dies for us again and again and we try our level best to doubt our own government .

It’s a shame when one reads or watches news and it pains me to see the doubt and the fact that we wont believe our own army and the government that we fought a war as recent as 3 months ago and we mock them .

Why cant we defend our own? Why cant we just believe that all happened? It’s like we try to water down our own soldiers and make sure that all the bizarre theories circulate via WhatsApp . It’s a mission where all of us act as if we fought the war there  amongst the jawans . Ive had discussion and conversations but had to give up against the conspiracy strategy arm chair experts . Men and their views . heaven forbid a women would make more sense than them . It’s a patriarchal genetic default with generation conditioning to think like this and there isn’t solution to this , maybe AI or Preplexity could help me with this. 

Wearing fancy dress , learning the lines and watching the customary Independence Day special reminding us of the war and the struggle doesn’t make us . I think defending oneself and being passionate about the country day in and day out and revealing in how this chaos works and how it is sustained is the real magic. Independence for me , is in the mind and to be able to live and express and to hold my head high amongst the world. We are a force to reckon with , this spirit needs be kindled and not relegated to the window for uploading selfies .and the hashtag . Life is beyond the social media consumption and influencer marketing,it’s in the freedom we have . 

To rice or not rice

 To Rice or not Rice 

Old age creeps in slowly and surely and all of us are on a cusp where we start getting our tests done and figuring out what is going wrong where and how to fix it . All the blood test start to come out wrong and one starts googling symptoms and finding out the right food and diet to take . 

This just happened with me after delaying my tests for a long  time and then everything came out in the red with levels hay wire . I started frantic googling to correct myself and I was sure I could do it all . Because anyways I am Houdini and wear so many hats like a mother ,grandmother  mother in law,sister,wife ,friend , daughter and had forgotten who the real Ravneet was ..it was decided with a vengeance and a lot of self control that my favorite rice, cheese and chocolate and coffee would go.

It was so easy I could just eat ragi roti and my besan  cheelas and cut down on bread , up my protein intake and well life would be balanced once again . Trust me from my two rotis , I went to one and half and then none. It was as if I was eating cement and my body just craved the simple no fuss , fancy free rice that would just go with everything and smoothly food would be perfect . Every bit of joy and happiness was sucked out just like the Dementors and I couldn’t even eat the chocolate to control the sadness. Any ounce of happiness that I got from happiness was going and the salad portions meant I was becoming a cow/ goat ; whoever said that eating grass never made you thin was absolutely right .

It kept on spiralling and actual weight loss was happening just becauseI stopped eating ! Instagram and its algorithms kept on sending me rice substitutes and along with this rice masks to make me look younger and have Korean glass skin sitting in the middle of Punjab.Then it went a step further , use fermented rice water to grow my hair . 

Was it actually spying on me ? Was it playing on my insecurities so much ? We have forgotten in our lives to be normal , everything is hyped up so much , creeping into our complexities , and our weaknesses . Slowly and slowly this bombardment on our subconscious plays on us and we are motivated to buy one of those masks to look fairer , whiter and to be spot less . Even with our blood tests even if one is borderline just like  me , I went into combat mode losing out all my happiness which could have been done by moderation ; but no I went into complete war mode .

It’s more expensive to follow a diet that makes you lose weight and fixes you , than having a normal one just like in the old days . The key was to move and exercise but what to do the rice mask kept on falling and dripping and the fermented rice spray was just too smelly in this heat 

In hindsight it’s better to eat in moderation with the rice and cheese and my butter ! I think my Punjabi genes went into regression and it was rice all the way to rise .

Happy woman’s day with a discount

 My inbox is inundated with offers for Women’s day and mind you all I get is a 10percent off and also a very lucrative buy one get one free offer ! This offer is always for some weird cream which will miraculously on this woman’s day make me look lovely , charming and white and all my skin problems will go and they cherry on top is that they will give me a free one ! 

I don’t understand every year like sheep we are swayed into the clever marketing that plays on our insecurities and we end up buying creams clothes , fancy sandals and just about every ayurvedic cream to lighten , clean , exfoliate the skin where ghee has been used ( 100 times washed ) that is the key word! We all get duped , me too. It plays subtlely on our psyche and seeps deep that all this if not bought would make us less attractive! Every year , the day comes and we all dress in our Indian finery , wear badges , eat a brownie or drink a cocktail specially made for us and think that we have won the world . Fancy speeches are made on empowerment panels , plans and strategy is made but does this stop the heckling , eve teasing for the fact that girls are beaten , raped and chopped and all that continues on this day also .

How about a 10 percent off on this day ? How about a vanishing cream to wipe these dreaded criminals ? How about you focus on the woman the identity , the stature than the body that is prey to be defiled and assaulted? Society judges , divides and cuts so brutally and you know the pathetic answer that they give is sorry , we wont do that again. 

Movies  like Pink , Mrs , The Great Indian Kitchen show are made , they impact and they fade into obscurity. I will have the maximum shares on quotes for nari , nari Shakti and how we the giver , nurturer of life is important and the scriptures are quoted but all I see is skewed growth more than ever. How about this woman’s day you make the women who have sons promise that we will raise better sons ? We will work on their complexities and psyche and make them better human beings who understand the influence of alcohol not beat up women , or make them work as maids , not make them small , and treat them as equal . Try this , this year and not give us lip service .. I sincerely hope this year the politician at the helm instead of bulldozing home spaces, and doing an eye wash rises to the occasion and stops the rot . 

Real empowerment for me is not a day but everyday where we are treated as human biengs and not subjugated , assaulted , raped and not made to feel good with roses for a day , try it every day ! Try giving us the way on the road , not honking or whistling or touching every single part , or shoving yourself on us. Why does the male angle only rise for one’s sister ? Try giving us freedom to be , and not judge on basis of color , or physical attributes , imagine you being rejected because your skin was dark or your nose was funny ! I could go on and on but I think you get the gist and this discriminatory messaging should stop , WhatsApp has gon bonkers for me ! Till then Happy Day and happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light - Albus Dumbleore 

The age of innocence

It’s beautiful to have grandchildren and to be a child with them and to see the world through their un-jaded eyes . It’s what is happening in this phase of my life . My grandson who is a 4 year old wonder kid amazes me every single day and it’s like reliving my life with boys . When my boys were around 4 years Swiss Kinder egg chocolates were the biggest gift to them and to eat the chocolate and then to make the little toy that came with them . I still have the entire collection to be gifted .So when this particular one opened now , it had these glow in the dark chameleon and the coincidentally the next one was also a chameleon 

I made up a story that they both needed to climb the plant kept inside , and they were parents and were climbing the plant. He went a step ahead and started putting them to bed by throwing them in the pot at night . Every single day we do this and every morning we wake them up.

I just love this imagination ! We have discussions on Avengers and Justice League and Black Panther and today he  wanted to open the Captain America shield to check the vibranium ! This is a 4 year old !! I introduced him to what else Harry Potter and he loves his swish of the wand and Wingardium Leviosa ! This is what childhood should be before we burden them with books and competitions. We need to let them be and let them walk and find out about ladybirds, mushrooms that grow at night and have magical fairies in them . 

The fact that he is learning punjabi and english and Hindi and knows that the help is bhai and is now called Pankaj  Singh ! and the milk help is a Bhaji and he is worried about the new born calves and kids . He’s named one Oreo! We as society should let children be children and not discipline them  to be  little robots who know everything or can recite and impress the guests . Let them be , they have the world to face slowly and slowly , everyone has their pace ,let’s not be quick to judge them and their parents . Social media confuses us by giving us tools and flip cards and these new tablets and laptops . 

How much fun is it when they can embrace and accept everything with purity and innocence and aren’t jaded or made to confirm? Everything will come naturally , and from using it in his sentences he has figured out that it’s a he /she . He didn’t Trump to pass an official statement! The sweetest was last month we finished a big fat punjabi wedding and one of our close relatives was wearing a saree and she wore a sleeveless blouse , so this babe in the woods with all his seriousness remarked that why was she wearing banyan ( vest ) to the wedding ? I guess this little punjabi boy hadn’t ever seen one!! But it was so sweet and had us all laughing!!

Independence Day

 It’s so strange and ironical that we have back to back Independence Days , two countries forever entwined like twins by hate and a common border . Every day we breathe and live the same air but are sworn enemies on and off the cricket ground and hockey and then we have a fresh whiff of air via Olympics. The strapping Jat Arshad Nadeem and Neeraj have scripted history and their mothers have so beautifully sealed it . The purity and innocence where they both claim to be the mother of both and are happy for them and their sons. It speaks volume of the magnanimity and the large heartedness of these village ladies . 

It’s the same here where in my village they all remarked that he’s also just like us and is a mason ( mistry’s ) son and is a worker just like us . He’s worked in the fields and is pendu like us . This association across borders of human bonding is just so beautiful. Every single day , I text my best friend who is closer to me in distance than my own parents in Chandigarh but it’s impossible to meet her . Majority of the country populations wish to meet , visit , have trading partners and just mingle . We are two countries that can benefit each other but because of  two sets of politicians this side and that side we are made to believe that we are out to kill each other.

Countless governments have come and gone , all fighting over Kashmir and believing it’s ours and no one in the end remembers that once we are gone land remains and we vanish into oblivion. Yesterday and today’s katha from Darbar Sahib , stressed again and again that wealth has no master .

Our entire life we keep on hankering , running after wealth and try to get more and more of it and then we die do you think that the wealth we have accumulated cries for its lost master ? In the bigger scheme of things all that remains is our name and what goodwill we have left behind as karma . These two sporting giants will forever be loved and remembered for their mothers who brought them up so well and brought a cheer and a smile to our faces . Isn’t that true freedom across borders ?

Our founding fathers who were from one country , educated , having deep roots together and our finest having roots in Karachi and Gah , who together fought to free themselves from Colonial rule , then were pitted against each other to be brutally divided , killed , and scarred forever , envisaged two nations born with ideals which have been lost forever . What shames today ,is the rape and torture and murder of a young doctor who was just resting and has been gang raped and brutally killed , and then they talk of equality , where we are afraid to sleep . In shame , and in despair and pain I welcome the Independence Day and the only sliver of hope is that Vignesh will get her silver today and that would be retribution to all the killed , raped , sexually assaulted girls who still fight for the country and system .

As , the chowkidar of my village said , till we don’t hold boys responsible , this  will continue because all everyone says is Sanu  ki?