The Annual trek home

The annual trek back home

The annual migration is on. Like the wildebeest of the Masai Mara they are all coming back in hordes to their homeland. Shiv Pratap ,a lawyer puts it the best and says,' take a long hard look. Just the way salmon must travel to the exact same spot to spawn where it has been born after having stayed away all its life-our NRI's get the same bug to travel back-but its temporary  like a viral fever. The call of the root is strong but by no is it rational , after all they don't want to stay here-life is so much better there ; economic system is far more fertile for a hard worker or a person low on resources. Only now the changes happening here that will transform this part of the world attract them .'

A NRI  is a person resident outside of India who is a citizen of India or who has migrated freely to another country to work and who remits money back to his home country .A 'pravasi bahrati' who lives works abroad but maintains ties with hi shame country. The Indian diaspora is 25 million strong an dis the world's largest 'sending' nation.

Punjab attracts them back like bees to honey . The figures are roughly 2.5 million Punjabis settled in Canada, USA, England and parts of Europe. The famous joke is that you will always find a Punjabi and a potato everywhere on this planet and it so holds true! The NRI after his intensive hard work,diligence and when he feels he has made it big economically , comes back to his home land aka Punjab to leave his mark /presence in his people where he is  recognized . This is in keeping with Maslow's theory of wants where a man first works for food , shelter and then money and when he has reached the top of the pyramid he wants to leave a mark in the society ; a stamp so that his name remains forever. Isn't that consistent with all of us?

They come back flashing their dollars, pounds and proudly wearing the new white designer clothes arms loaded down with gold jewelry and women whose arms hold the newest designer bag announcing their arrival . In fact, they find Punjab very 'nice' going to the pind difficult as everything is dirty but don't worry they are carrying enough supplies of toilet paper, hand sanitizer,and anyway it is a short trip just till the path /haavan/ religious ceremony and little bit shopping is over.

The NRI has a few characteristics , he builds the biggest ,largest ,fanciest kothi in the village to in his colony , a marble mausoleum with the words behind his name proudly saying, ....UK Wale, German, Amrika wale! How can one forget the benevolent NRI and his patronage  to the local sports club, the gurudwara, mandir or the most lucrative the Sarpanch election.

The punjabi Nri lives and breathes elections. His blood, his next breath is when he is thickly in the contest supporting one political person against the other. In fact ,it is said that this invisible patronage has led to a 50% increase in election costs in the villages ; where opponents try to outdo each other by doling out freebies before elections .It all boils down to izzat / honor of the candidate and the parties supporting them .In fact , the sale of liquor shoots up considerably and it is common for the NRI to finance this and they also resort to buying votes in the Malwa region. A sarpanch's election costs Another subtle but the most effective way is to give money to a Dharamshala ( religious place) , so as to woo the voter. A novel idea by a sarpanch in the last held elections (2008) was to distribute salwar-suits thus winning over the fairer sex!!Their pet peeve as seen by the numerous supporters on the next battle field which is the virtual world arena is that they want to bring about change Navi Sidhu, settled in Sacramento ,California says,'My life is here, but still care for my relatives, my motherland, but my pet peeve is to bring about some change so people start thinking again." He wants people to come out of the nonsocial approach to life where they limit themselves to superstition and let it govern and take charge of their lives."

An NRI thinks that after living abroad he or she can conveniently come back and dictate what they want or they want to give back to the society ,their motherland the bhoomi from where they rose and went and conquered the world. Why do they forget that it is not easy to keep one's feet in two boats? One will either sink or swim and that  is so dangerous mortally and figuratively. An NRI  is of two types an old timer who has been gone for decades and a new timer.A new immigrant is one who has political associations back home and they want to stay in touch but as time passes interest wanes.They come to attend the customary wedding commitments or deal with land matters , property details. This is an ongoing problem where due to economic windfall and rise in property prices in Punjab the land and houses which had earlier seen desertion have risen in value mani-fold.As they gain economic standing overnight income cases , their ability dole out cash increases ( the conversion rate helps) . This category looks for recognition back home by sponsoring sarpanch elections , local sports clubs, gyms etc. another way of doing this by sponsoring school blocks , library and other developmental works in the village so as to leave that board/nameplate with the inscription left behind for generations to come. Immortalising in stone , has been done since ages and its practice prevalent now also.

As age catches the NRI , he wants to reconnect with his culture , his values , his age old traditions which were dormant but come to the forefront in the latter years of his life.The desperation sets in, as days to meet the Maker are numbered , the NRI comes back in droves and they get attached to some religious dera( sects following a learned master with spiritual and religious inclination). These deras have a large following as the babaji's regularly visit abroad to hold discourses ;NRI's form a major chunk of their devotees.  An exact figure cannot be pinpointed but they're substantial in numbers along with their financial aids.As age catches up so does the desperation . It is funny that the older generation wants to make the ties strong while the next generation does not even care . They do not want anything to do with it.

In fact , an NRI categorically says , 'Punjab is like butter love to eat, but to stay healthy , eat it once in a while". 

This love-hate relationship is what defines the non reliable Indian . He will poke his head into local politics trying to spoil the applecart but as soon as the call of the siren ( his adopted country ) beckons he leaves us high and  sundry.

It is to be seen that the NRI Sabha has 14000 members currently and they will try to influence the voting patterns in some segments of the state, to primarily safeguard their interests .

Ravneet sangha 

saag and makki di roti

Why saag and makki di roti?

The common man's swag and makki di roti with a dollop of butter on it which melts and makes everyone salivate far and wide. It even finds mention in the newest  controversial wikipedia which states it as a spinach or mustard leaf based dish eaten in South Asia with bread such as makki( roti made of corn flour /maize flour and is yellow in color). This dish is eaten by Punjabis daily , and is tempered with garnishing served with pickles and radish to bring out its flavor served with buttermilk or the common man's lassi!

The combination of saag with makki di roti brings forth memories of mouth watering food, a manna from heaven. It might be loosing out to fancier , quick ,instant food but nothing can match the dish which is slowly cooked best outdoors in a pot on wooden logs. This method of slow cooking brings forth the inherent strong flavors making it a must for every punjabi worth his makhan.

Jugraj Dhillon Sohi , says , 'I can eat it everyday for winters three times a day.This rustic soulful ,nutritious delicious food is Number in everyone's household. No one can pinpoint why , but it is the staple ,and is the trademark of Punjab along with Butter Chicken, rajmah, alu ke paranthe.Sammy Gill says, love to eat it but with bajra or wheat chapatti. 

Saag and makki di roti ,, an unbeatable combination and every Punjabi swears by it ! India andPakistan sarson is entwined with village life. Sarson is a resilient plant that resists infestation an fit is not easily affected by adverse weather. It is therefore immensely suitable to an unsophisticated rural economy. 

Sarson fields also form an important part of Bollywood movies. Since time immemorial the romance na dthe budding love has been immortalized in the fields of blooming yellow mustard fields. Every movie which has a love story angle shows the hero romancing the heroine in the fields of sarson symbolizing love blossoming .

The mustard fields thus prove to be unimportant export , a) for movie locations, b) for producing which is agreeably the soul food of every Punjabi , be it in India or abroad !. Infact , taking a cue from this Markfed started packaging sarson da saag , an fit has cornered the niche where ever there is a considerable Asain Population reaching to Middle East , UK , USA, Canada and other European nations.

As an NRI living in England Dr .Nirmal says, I enjoy it immensely but the flavors which one gets in punjab cannot be matched by England's mustard leaves. Interestingly , on websites to Punjabis can't pinpoint why they love it , they just do .Nothing can explain the weakness , it's in the blood.

Ravneet sangha 

A writer and her diamonds

"I do so want to write",said the forty something looking like an early thirtyish socialite of the northern sectors in one of the thousands metro cities which have sprung up like last nights mushrooms after the much needed rain. She licked her lips , tainted with just the right brown lip color ( earthy and balanced out with the kohl rimmed eyes) and asked him again , in the perfect cultured public school voice. She had to climb this particular ladder as all others had been taken by the elite group. She knew being a politician's wife was passe' and starting an art gallery or dabbling in painting was just so 1980's. She didn't want to get her hands dirty with visiting hospitals, donating money to orphanages or hugging strangers , God knows what viral disease she may catch? Even coming close to the smell , oh that was enough to make her puke. This was one avenue which no one had thought of , the romance of writing ,the lure of the pen and she was pretty proficient.
She had the perfect excuse to go buy some clothes , get some ethnic duppattas , some silken scarves to wear with her black shirts and her straight Tom Ford's. She also needed the right kind of moleskin book let for her to jot down inspirational quotes, thoughts musings and some ramblings like the rabbit which went down the hole.
Looking at the author in front of her , at the pre-literary fest she posed her question knew she would get her answers. He, of the worldwide acclaim and fame and his novel which had been snapped for the next movie by Karan Johar..a romance unparalleled. The author in all his arrogance was standing nursing his drink , clutching on to it as if it was his link to living.She did wonder though looking at him, did all of them have to dress in an unkempt shabbily genteel way and what was with the hair? Looking around she counted at least four politicians , you could tell them by the coterie around them , one who must be the hapless PA holding onto two phones and talking on third eyes which constantly made the sweep so as not to miss any one important . The usual mix of socialites ( her friends ) who had walked in with their husbands and were now were with their "friends' were around . The publishing house heads who strutted around like Emperor Penguins in their circles were holding court with literary agents ,authors discussing the economy, the rise of the pound and yes, the latest 'Find" which was going to storm the world of books , lamenting e-books and the shrinking population who actually bought books v/s the e-book downloading variety.
Turning back to the "find ' she again asked. I have  a burning desire to write to express my creativity to paint the canvas of the world with my words and to lay open the true meaning of a woman .. her anguish her pain ,what she feels and loves and what she sacrifies. He looked at her with an amused expression and thought about shocking her with the bizarrest line," Would you go for a book retreat with me?"

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This was the latest venture of Ms.Rhea not-so-boredwali . She had her eureka moment when she had broken up with her two -timing scoundrel of a guy who had ditched her for a girl with no style but ahem! with bigger ( faker boobs). Crying over endless cups of infusion mint tea and chocolate to keep the endorphins high she had got this brilliant plan while looking at her lab's soulful chocolate brown eyes. Dogs were so much better then men , they were faithful and trustworthy. doggiedate.com was such an instant hit on Face book , all her friends had flooded her notifications ,  clamoring for her to find dates for their lonesome , bored dogs. She knew this was a great start-up. Just a bit of clever designing and even cleverer marketing, they were all going to be sucked into this . She would cleverly price her advertisements and be the next star for twitter . They would follow her , and the PETA would give her the Nobel prize for humanity !! Voila ,.. everyone thought she was a fluff piece , well every girl has her day .

She would show all of them. In a world where people tried to find matches for each othe r, no one had even given a thought to dogs who needed the right kind of match to procreate , to keep the lineage , to keep the vansh going. Why men and women were forever breaking up and for every man there was a woman out there? One need not worry about humans , it was these animals who couldn't express their love , passion ,desires who need to be looked after. I mean they also want all the fine things in life .

This was not a fantasy piece nor did I have a eureka moment , a friend of mine did  in all seriousness post this on Facebook. Why are we replacing real life with these superficial add-ons? Life has so much to offer ,and yes being a pet lover is one of them but think of us poor human beings who need love , recognition and we need to touch base with ground reality.

Singh is king vs Bhenji power..

Singh is King V/s Bhenji power in the Parliament 

Rumor has it that the Pm is tying an early Rakhi to his sister Mamta , Maya and Uma the firebrand on the demands of Madameji.

This has been done to save the aloo piyaaz taamtar whose water is recharging the groundwater which was in severe danger of depletion courtesy a report where millions were spent by the Environment Ministry under the flamboyant Einstein type lookalike hair of Jairam Ramesh who said his last Jai last week before any real damage could be done to flora an fauna .

FDI can change the scenario for the aam aadmi but the  protectors of aam-adami think otherwise. What is better ? Getting a price of the product what ever it is or trying to sell it at  one rupee when the note itself has been withdrawn from circulation? What is better , selling it or flooding the water rivulets of punjab with potatoes which are selling at some places but with the arrival of the fresh crop the previous ones are being thrown out on the roads.

There is however a brain wave , we can start a cottage industry for vodka production . To do kits can be handed out , " nukkad plays ' can be enacted out so that the Punjab farmer can excel in this . The spirit of the Punjabi is unparalleled and he has no match . The Government has also thought of another way to singlehandedly wipe out the debt of Kingfisher aka Vijay Mallaya by giving him pure raw virgin vodka to boost the sales of UB and thereby diverting funds to his airways . The pre requisite being that the politician gets to view the models of Kingfisher calendar for approval and free air travel with an unidentified person .

However the day is not far away ,when instead of maize or corn production we will be producing ethanol by the gallons to save the nation's rising cost . But wait, Uma ji sees a conspiracy by the MNC's selling seed to the farmer and has threatened to immolate herself once again.

Slim look for big weddings

Kate Middleton, went to France to do it, apni punjabi Kudiyan are coming to apna Jalandhar to get them done." Do not get tantalized by the statement but its just about the good ol' Bateese ! You know the whitening procedures, the cappings done, the realignment done to get the perfect smile.Punjabis are known allover the world for there big fat weddings which are ostentatious , OTT but the new trend is a slim bride or groom for the big fat punjabi wedding.Arranged marriages are still the order of the day but physical beauty wins hands down , and 'Sundarta wins over seerat( beauty over brains) . Jalandhar has numerous doctors, hospitals where pre-marriage surgical procedures are performed to improve their chances for marriage.  It should however be known that there are only a few accredited surgeons who can perform plastic surgery ; they are Dr. Chanjeev, Dr. Baath, Dr Pasricha, Dr Sk Chauhan, Dr.Gs Saini, Dr. Jang Bahadur.

There are numerous people who claim to be doctors and have fly-by the night operations where they can miraculously lighten one's skin color, get rid of acne scars by medicinal herbs etc . He warns the readers of these kind of quacks who ruin skin by steroids. Also, these so claimed fraudulent practitioners buy TV time or radio time in western countries to promote and lure  innocent customers . 

One such advert in Radio Humsafar (http://radiohumsafar.com/listen-time) has an ad in chaste Punjabi ,'saying that Aah ji Munda wala aapni peeta nuh aaj bhi reject karge, oohde danda karke' and it gets funnier form here. 

There are claims to 15 minutes to a younger you also.

Punjab ,especially Jalandhar has a sizable population of NRI's and expats who return to the homeland faithfully in large numbers every other year for wedding preparations or to visit and get medical treatment done as it works out cheaper here . Due to a world wide recession and increasing health costs abroad it is dearer to get treatments done there which are nominal here. 

Another interesting thing which has been  highlighted in recent years is partners in pain where mother daughter duos collectively go in for surgeries together to boost each other's morale and share divide and halve the pain. On conditions of anonymity a leading cosmetologist says that bride and groom both  come in together to for correction surgeries,skin lightening procedure, acne scar removals, rhinoplasty, ear correction operations. This is all singularly done to look beautiful in this media conscious society .

Dr. Sujata Goyal, a leading prosthodontist says in keeping with the pressures of media, where the e-world bombards you with photo-shopped celebrities having the perfect skin ,body, hair one is driven subconsciously to emulate them in hope to come close to these celebrity figures by chiseling and getting procedures done on their bodies. It is an open secret that young girls get laser chiseling, breast augmentation, tummy tucks, and nose reshaping as the constant comparison which is never subtle makes them yearn for the perfect face n body.

The ratio for males to females is 90:10 , going to 75:25 in the present decade and will reach 60:40 in the next decade.

Men are opting out for aesthetic surgery as this makes them handsome in the Adonis mould , be it at the cost of a surgeon's knife and liposuction. Hair removal by laser, Hair Transplant surgery and lightening procedures are commonplace. People are increasingly resorting to cosmetic surgery to look young , the eternal elixir being replaced by a surgeon's tools rather than holistic living and proper diet!One wants to look young beautiful wholesome and to achieve this mantra they will do anything .

Cosmetology helps them to achieve this by cutting from the wrong places and adding at the right places ! Breast augmentation and liposuction being the number one. Also, adding to sagging eys, thinning cheek bones, a wrinkled neck and taking away from the sagging bottom ,paunch .

Botox parties in Delhi are commonplace and 15 minutes is all it takes is the selling point, the catch phrase that it 's as quick as a coffee break .So opt out , look the younger you . This is the number one non-surgical cosmetic procedure . This segment is likely to grow by 500% allover the country but in Jalandhar the exponential rate is phenomenal ; NRI 's all ask for this procedure (60%) .It has the best potential to delay wrinkles and the next time you hear about a shot it  is not a vaccine or a drug shot but a Botox shot being referred to.

The lure of a fuller pout aka Angelina Jolie or the bee-stung lips made famous can all be yours thanks to a filler injection, plumper lips , all with a simple cosmetic procedure.Even popular is the fillers , derma based injections which can reverse age and reduce lines of age by making those thin , wrinkled hands younger again . 

In a positive note Dr. Chanjeev,, a plastic surgeon of repute at Civil hospital and head of IPRAS ( International Confederation for Plastic and  Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgery ) for the next five years says that they actually discourage prospective bride or grooms to go for plastic surgery where they require it to increase their suitability for marriageable purposes. Plastic surgery is done only to correct disfigurements , or birth defects which are not pleasant to the human eye. Plastic surgery according to him is one super specialization where  the doctors can do a lot of humanitarian work.In the past they had collectively held a lot of free medical camps where they performed surgeries to correct defects like cleft palates etc. In January they are again holding a camp called Woman for Woman .

Ravneet Sangha