Tuition Wala Sirji

What do we search for more? Today’s woman is not looking for the elusive, exclusive diamond, nor is she looking for the next Hermes bag or the right body. What does she want? Well, at this time of the year she is also not looking for the thermal which is worn but is not seen and does not add to the e muffin top but she is searching for the Tuition wala Sir ji or keeping in with equality Madam ji .

I along with all the paranoid hyper mothers who do not fear the apocalypse but are in a state of frenzy over the tuition walla Sir who will miraculously prepare my son to clear the boards and the magical examination that holds the key to his future.

Life is the biggest test of all. The exams we take everyday failing and yes triumphing in small victories, big defeats but nonetheless winning and losing. How come there is no fixed tutorial for life? Why are we as a nation hell-bent on trashing ourselves with heinous crimes, debasing the moral fiber that set us apart from the world? Why has man become the ultimate destroyer of the woman? Where did the manual for this disappear? Every thing, object comes with a guarantee, a warranty period and so does funny enough humans, that we all will die but how do we go about it?

I search for the Master who will unleash the potential of my son who is judged by system where you are graded to the nth percentile, where the innocence, the smile or the human is ignored but the grades are taken into account. Never mind, what kind of generation we give birth to, one should be able to score well, get into the prestigious college and be a bright shining Indian for Mother India. The, blacks of my hair have gone on strike; they become whiter everyday and refuse any attempts by me when I coax them to be colored! In fact, I think I have a full on mutiny (similar to the Indian Mutiny) going on and they have a mind of their own. As my son says, just chill mama, I wonder whether he refers to the weather or whether I should park myself in the refrigerator or should I just take a pill and chill.

And, then I think of the times I remember God, doe she make time for my prayers or is HE overworked in the times of examination build-up. If one would statistically think of Indian mothers all praying to God and asking for the highest marks and promising money, Prasad. He sure would be over worked along with keeping in mind the festive cheer plus a balance on the crazy country of ours.

My prayer is simple, send me the magical mythical Sirji who can transform this kid of mine and I promise well, the moon and I hope I have some hair left by the boards next year. Till then, I have resorted to every oil preparation by every Swamiji.