an open letter

An open letter

A letter written by a former MTV VJ and actor Shenaz Treasureywala has gone viral, thanks to social media.  been written and tweeted about and shared a numerous times. We , all have gone viral reading and sharing it with each other and discussing it, analyzing, lauding it .

She asks for a stop to all sexual harassment and rape activities. She wants the most influential and powerful men In India to help her, to step in and to understand and most importantly feel how it ‘feels’ to be groped, felt and touched in private places just because one is a woman.

They don’t even spare young girls. She writes openly, apologizing to her parents who did not want her to speak about it.  It started with her, as early as 13 years and she could not understand whether it was the dress, or why she did not get clean even after bathing numerous times.

Rape is a physical sexual assault and defiling the victim by physical intercourse by violence by incapacitating the person. We, all know what rape is; we all understand the gory impact and what it means for the victim.

But, what we have seen is empty threats, a long drawn court battle, where the offender is left either with a short sentence and a fine. And, it is written he is an offender. How can we in our right conscience allow this to happen? Are seven or eleven or in some cases five years equal to what the victim feels? Ho is the term equated with?

Her, open letter to end this, and to serve a death sentence is what needs to catch momentum. Everyone feels, and they are unanimous in asking that we need to be so stern, and need to set an example. Nirbahaya, forming trusts, and then repeated rapes, and still no end to these heinous crimes.

Of course, there are some in the society who say she did this to get cheap publicity and to garner more viewers for her movie, but critics and cynics will always be there.

Hope is what sustains life, and in this case it is an oxymoron where we need to end life to serve as an example. If this letter that has been read by children also , in villages makes an impact and if the Prime Minister who promises Ache Din , can warrant a change, truly we will usher in a better brighter India.

True progress of a nation is when its 50 % of its population feels safe and not vulnerable to walking down a street . Where she , is comfortable to wear , to be , to do , what she feels and not be targeted  for being a woman. Where the men , do not blame her for being wicked, for enticing , luring them to rape her. She is being blamed for being loose, fancy just because she eats noodles and has a mobile. Please move forward and let the girl live, breathe and be free , that is the biggest gift we can give her .

Amreekan Desi

Progress, real progress is always based upon the education of its citizens. At the turn of the century, we all wanted to conquer the moon and when man took its first step on the moon the next destination was another planet, Mars. That also has been scaled, no peak is high, no frontier that cannot be conquered.

But, sadly we have such a skewed education system that fails to make the student, the citizens of tomorrow, learn. We, have government schools where students are given a prescribed syllabus, which they learn by rote and give exams. Practical application is minimal and in some cases missing altogether.

This is not sensational media reporting or any exaggeration but just what I have seen, experienced everyday for the last two years. My village is on the periphery of Jalandhar, a progressive town for all matters. Everyone is affluent, all amenities are there for people, and the village is a model one. Children all attend the government high school, that boasts of spacious playing fields, a science lab, even a computer lab. But, the ground reality is far from what is painted in statistics. A percentage of the children who attend my evening school have no grasp over the rudimentary facts of math s, science. All they know is just what they have been ‘told’ to learn. Arithmetic skills are negligible; they can only solve the sums that have been earmarked to them “ that will come in the exams’!

Attendance is a joke, if you want to attend otherwise the teachers cannot force you, punishment is an alien word, no one can check you as you might accidentally hurt the child and damage his psyche. They learn about science in such difficult alien words in Punjabi that cannot be pronounced, let alone ever be used in everyday language.

Then, another aspect that bothers me is they all learn in Punjabi, the medium is Punjabi. How is the child of Punjab going to compete with the rest of the nation? Forget, the world.  Taking pride in one’s language is one thing but to churn out engineers and doctors in Punjabi and from which university, is still a mystery to me. Everyday, as I teach the 85 odd children who come to me with trust, eager, smiling faces, what do I tell them that the future is theirs not to see?

Then, we have this policy where a completely irrational sports game, Baseball is taught and played where children play with all fervor, determination and also play the state championships. And, guess what, this game is not even recognized or applicable for them to get an edge when they apply in colleges. The college makes them try out in track and field, and they lose out on stamina.

Where are the babus; who make this archaic education system playing with the lives of these children just because their parents can’t afford a fancy chancy school.

Forget India shining, or Acche Din, both are spiels, closer home progressive Punjab is also a utopia.

Holding summits, conferences, lauding the progress or having think tanks to discuss the problems and to find solutions and to launch us to the next century are all commendable but the ground reality is till we don’t teach them to be financially independent, we cannot progress.

A nation moves forward, if and only when the village /kutumbh moves.

I still wait for the day when hockey is taught in the same fervor as baseball is, so that we may play our game rather an American hand me down game that has no value! Just imagine if the Americans started playing in Sansarpur and we went and played in the World Series!

A comedy of errors. and the Amreekan Desi would be really born.

Ravneet Sangha

The Punjabi way to fix a back

Age is catching up to all of us slowly and surely, last week my sister in law sprained her back! It was for the first time and she gyms quite a bit and you think she would be the last person to suffer from this. But, it so happened and when she was asked about her pain and all, she kept on saying oh its happened for the first time. Back pain happens for the first time, and it is uncomfortable. Seeing her out of action physically had our servants quite worried, so one off the old time maids we had , had a sure shot answer to all this . She said medicines, pain gels nothing works angrezi dawai; her answer was a classic one.

She said, that if two sisters are married into one family, one of them could come and she would touch the back of the spine with her left toe and say something five times and both of them would not talk to each other, plus not cross each others paths. The pain would all go away. It was black magic and nazar that had caused this ache. At first it sounded so bizarre , but it was worth a try .I mean what could happen , nothing could go wrong or worse than what her position was. It could not go worse than this . We were quite stumped that who would fit in all the requirements and then like eureka! I remembered that our cook and his brother are married to two brothers. I do have my finer moments, if I say so myself.

Well, the next morning, he brought his wife, and Simer sat in the crossroads of the door facing outwards and she did her bit of magic. Simer had been told before hand not to speak to her and go the other way and talk to the lady doing all this. They were not supposed to talk or cross each other’s paths.

As, simple as that.  I saw them do this. And, she touched her spine with her toe and mumbled something and went her way.  We all laughed over this, and don’t know if it was psychological or whether it worked or whether the medicines had kicked in after resting that she felt that her back was better.

These little superstitious acts are apart and parcel of our lives especially us lot who dot the rural landscape of India. It doesn’t matter if you’re a science graduate or masters in commerce, this kala magic affects us. Call us ignorant or superstitious but in all of us lies that vulnerable soul who is susceptible to this. The Minister of Education should be forgiven for visiting a pundit, he had prophesized she will be the future President of India. If someone, sold me that dream , why would I not pander to his wishes?

India is a country that has definitely moved on from the land of snake charmers but we have moved to mouse and make the world our captive with our stories, our yogic traditions, and yes some of our superstitious beliefs. Actually we come way behind the Europeans in our thoughts.

As, the pain got better, she didn’t know what to attribute it to whether it was allopathy and rest or sheer luck with the toe. However, the story going the rounds is that Bittu’s wife’s social position in the village has been elevated as she had cured Bhabhiji ! Apparently, a quick make money business scheme has been hatched. Till then ,if you have a niggling back ache do visit us for instant cure minus the ugly belt.

five hundred rupee note

Every day we get umpteen messages on our smart phones, you know the way we connect via whatsapp. Sometimes, a message stays with you and it leaves an imprint. Last week, this is the one I got, where I learnt money is important and how it makes the world go around and as a corollary it how impacts our lives.   An executive coach from Pune shares two important management lessons – he says he was a part of an audience listening a motivational guru. The speaker whipped out a five hundred note from his wallet. He held it high and asked,” Who wants this five hundred, note?’ Lots off hands went automatically and they shot up high, including mine. A low murmur also started where lots of people said, me! Me!’

I began to wonder whom the lucky one would be and whom the speaker would choose. Even as the voices grew loud, a young woman ran up to the stage and grabbed the five- hundred notes from his hand and went back. Well done, young lady, said the speaker into the microphone. Most of us just wait for good things to happen. That ‘s of no use. You’ve got to make things happen. No one gives anything in a platter. And simply, thinking about doing something is of no use.’

Our lives are like that. We all see opportunities around us. We all want good things. But the problem is we don’t to take action .We all want the five hundred note and what all we offer. We all look at it longingly. Get up, and do something about it. Don’t worry about what other people might think. Take action.

Several years later, another day another motivational guru and the same five hundred rupee note. He took the note, rolled it threw it and crumbled it and asked everyone, how much is it? Everyone said, five hundred rupees. He again, stamped on it, and again asked how much it is; we all shouted and said Five hundred rupees.

Just because someone crumples it, or stamps on it, the value of the note does not diminish. It still has the buying power to buy goods worth five hundred. In our lives, there will be times when we feel crushed, stamped or beaten. But never let your self worth diminish.

Just because someone wishes to crush you, it does not change your inherent character at all. Do not let the other person’s negativity and his behavior bog you down or change how you perceive yourself. It’s your perception that needs to be projected. We need to NEVER let our self – worth diminish.

This is how one perseveres and carry’s forward. A five hundred-rupee note step by step .

encounters and the moment

I’ve bought books by the dozen, read, and read till my eyes drop and have this crazy number where by I am blind, literally. All, the times I ponder, muse and ramble with my thoughts and then something happened.

You don't need to go to an ashram, or a spiritual sojourn or a retreat or follow the ten-step point program to learn to meditate or become peaceful or attain nirvana.

It's just living life, step by step and keeping quiet and just observing and most important to change oneself.

No one is going to change for you. Trust me on this one. I had something close to an epiphany. I needed to stop blaming others, to stop expecting from others.

It is always one’s own personal journey, nobody can live it for you, no one can fight your battles, no one can lessen the pain, yes we have friends, we have shoulders to cry on, hugs are given but in the end the pain is always ones.

And, I discovered one more thing; the realization will happen at the moment it is meant to happen, not a minute sooner, not a moment later. If someone had said you would learn at 40, I would have disagreed because we all are full of ego, and always think we know it all.

Realization happens only when patience steps in. I always thought growing up patience was so over – rated. My father like a Zen master kept on saying patience, patience and I used to get so bugged and irritated just like any normal kid, but now I know.

Guru Nanak said that being a householder is mediation in action. Not to run away to the mountains, or to go hide in a cave, or to read and swear by a ten point mantra, but to practice meditation in action every day, every single minute in action. Also, I feel that to forgive others and to move on, you can never control what they feel for you so how can you expect anything rom them?

It took me so long to learn this one!

I don’t expect this to change you, or to give you karmic bliss, but yes my moment has helped me.

It’s always about finding peace and it comes, albeit slowly and surely at its pace. And, the beauty is, we all have our journeys mapped out.

Till then do not miss the stars while looking at the moon.

sign of times

Sign of times

Its November and temperatures are changing, we all want winter to land up, and land up fast in our midst. The jokes have also started with the muffler and the throat cough medicines but what is different this year, you may ask. Halloween has taken into us by a storm, it’s a festival where the west remembers the dead, the saints but the theme is of humor and ridicule to confront the brutality of death. How and why this festival took root in India is beyond my comprehension.

Halloween is a western festival; children dress up in various outlandish scary costumes and go trick treating to get candy. And suddenly yesterday, I saw my Facebook wall flooded with kids going to these theme parties, with the complete theme, décor, ambience created for young kids who don’t know what it means. Why have we started to give this kind of education, upbringing to our kids?

The next day was the day to remember thirty years of the 1984 genocide. No posts, except the cursory change of the cover photo, to show one is with the flavor of the day. The next day being the Gurpurab of the first Guru of the Sikhs.

Why are there no statuses to remember, pay respect, homage to Him?

In fact, we will give more emphasis to a western festival, and will automatically impart the same to our children laying the foundation for life for them, but heaven forbid, we might take them to the Gurudwara or temple, or try and teach them a lesson that one should not discriminate the other because he is a Sikh or a Muslim or a girl.

Compassion is what needs to be imparted empathy needs to be cultivated. My wall ( not the brick and mortar one mind you ) , but my virtual life one , had all these sweet , adorable pictures ( no offence to the people) but hey we do live in India . And, especially because we again and again have insensitive politicians swearing to get justice for the innocents whose generations have been lost to drugs, death, poverty and plain old no justice, they are given false hopes and then laid to rest when the TRP’s have been reached.

I implore the media to at least carry on some kind of coverage all ear around rather than surface, interview and die till the next year around. This horror can happen to anyone, and trust me we all are vulnerable.
Halloween would have been appropriate by being a terror victim costume, at least that would have been real, than the Joker of Batman.

“Why so serious?’

It’s a free country. Just saying my piece .

Ravneet Sangha