Musings of a 40 year old

Musings of a Middle Aged Woman

Time flies, I didn’t know when where time flew and I am 40 and enjoying it.

Yesterday, read a most interesting conversation / debate where else but face book because I was directed to it. It was a public post. And, I apologize upfront because I shouldn’t have done, as I wasn’t a party of it. The sentiments were all well meant and so forth.

We actually live in a society where we love to confirm aka the women into the stereotypical traditionalistic sati savitri type of photos imprinted into our minds. We think, and yes this is what the population thinks that we need to mellow down when we hit the 40-age bracket!

Why are woman picked upon? After a decade of catering to the whims of an overgrown boy –turned, husband, raising the 2.2 kids, dealing with work pressures, social expectations, and dealing with life, plus being the supermom, super wife and also balancing the monthly budget, a woman finally heaves a sigh in her 40’s.

If she happens to dress wearing tighter than thou clothes, waving a diamond ring, carrying a fancy schmancy designer bag and tries to lose weight, and subjects herself to kamikaze torture exercise to the metabolism going, whose fault is it?

It’s the media, the advertising, and the bombardment of the svelte body that stares down back at us. If we are dark, we lose the man, if we wear Indian clothes; we are Aunty ji, not modern enough.

Why are we judged upon? If we wear tight jeans with a short shirt, we are displaying ourselves. Imagine if you are in the west, an obese 40 year old woman walks at the road, you don’t say anything but here in India, pura bhashan milta hain!

 Women like me, you, us just want to chill, enjoy and relax the final years before we start counting medicines, and making doctors appointments. Men, themselves, preen about, start buying flashy cars, and pick a hobby like motorcycling in obscenely priced motorcycles, driving up and down the Himalayas for a break.

What about us, Monsieur? Is wanderlust different for us? Just because we have a few grey popping in the parting of our hair we are old, has been; while a man starts to look distinguished!

I so wonder what would be said of me, a village wale, and 40 yr. old mom of two wearing a stalwart suit with grey outnumbering the black who is old in some manners but is a child in some.

I wish when we were growing up along with the do this, do that, sit stand, cry, don’t cry, and don’t ever express one’s mind, be demure, be ladylike (where did they get his one from?)  They would have given us a secret book to be old and to not be young.  Also, the society then labels us feminist jhola type if we express our mind or have an opinion.

In today’s world, which is growing smaller , by the second and where the media infiltration is so subtle ,that it subconsciously imprints our mind to form opinions based upon the bombardment of images that we pre-judge , and preconceive that it becomes difficult for us simple village folk to match up . we are doomed if we wear the Punjabi suit and damned if we wear modern clothes ; have a heart ! the social pressures and intimidation makes us do all this to blend in !

From the Heartland of Punjab ,

Ravneet Sangha.