Bhutan Diaries-1

A trip to Bhutan cleared up a lot of myths for me. This small Himalayan kingdom has made happiness a way of life. They are happy with the life they lead.  In our daily life, materialistic things, deadlines, the stress level, a desire to achieve, acquire, to attain and to covet more and more drive us. It is how we have become. However, the pace in this tiny country is driven by simple pleasure and contentment .Its amazing that how a country in the last thirty years has changed its thought process in unity to happiness; where the goal is to preserve its culture traditions, its roots and to replace the economic structure with happiness.

We these days use emoticons to denote, happiness and to show our pleasure all the time but we do we ever understand what it means? To transform oneself, de colonizes to change the mindset in such a way to completely then surrender to the way of life as said by the masters. For them, happiness is in every action, in every breath and the way they are humble to every living being, be it a human or nature.

It is this what makes them truly successful. The air is slow, serene and the pace is soothing taking us through its motions. We were a group of 13, an unlucky number for some but lucky for us and at the Cheri Monastery where when one prays and asks for a wish it is granted. But, the beauty was the way when the monk explained why we fold our hands, and bring them first to the forehead, then to our lips and then to the middle of our body, followed by prostrating on the floor with hands splashed wide open on the floor.

He said we first fold our hands to the middle of the forehead as we center our wish to the mind and focus on it clearly and succinctly. Then  we bring the folded hands to our lips, putting the wish into words and forming the sentences and lastly we draw our hands to the middle of our body , where lies the life force, the soul that resides in us.

I found this whole explanation so simple, so beautiful and it was as if all the pieces of the jigsaw pieces of the puzzle were falling in place. Why are we not ever taught this? Why is religion kept apart from us, to be in formal structure lines, to scare, to intimidate?

The inner secret is to have it a part of us in daily motion. And, it manifests in all big and small things.

Women and the times

A Bengaluru girl whose Facebook page and matrimonial advertisement went viral when rebelled her parents who had put her onto the marriage market. 80 percent of women go thorough this parade where parents put them through an embarrassing parade where there being fair (the biggest advantage), homely, obedient are the biggest virtues, oh and before I forget the she is always convent educated, soft spoken and is a great cook and the cherry on the cake she is of an adjusting nature.

 In short, she is a cow.

The young software engineer rebelled against this and set up a webpage and also made a matrimonial CV that was anything but the usual. She wanted someone who would accept her for being small, dorky with glasses and someone who was definitely not marriage material. She wants someone who wouldn’t ask her to grow her hair!

Why do we as a society expect so much in totality from the girls? Are we marrying our sons to life partners and companions who love them for what they are, faults and warts and all or do we want glorified, showpieces who fit the bill of statuesque women, tall, fair, beautiful, well versed in making a home. It is the mindset of the society that puts subtle, but such fierce pressure on the women to perform.

However, the younger generation is changing, her webpage has had 2, 30,000 hits on her page and also dozens of marriage proposals plus a few from non-Indians who wonder if they are eligible.

As, a society now we are going through a time that is rapidly changing but we are not evolving the way our masters wanted us to, in this rapid growth we want girls to be educated, to hold professional jobs, to augment the total income but we want to oppress them and want to be homemakers, pushed to the hilt. Why is that we want them to fit the mold? The mindset is such that boys are corrupted and as the rapist in the infamous Nirbahaya case says, Girls who are decent do not roam at night. The girl was asking for it as she resisted.

This mindset is the reflection of the men who have been conditioned by their parents to believe they are superior, just because of their sex and have a right to be right.

An oxymoron of a society that preaches itself hoarse to save the girl, educate the girl, to teach a girl is to teach a society, to save the true wealth of a society.

Aren’t these mere words that just are mere platitudes to be a part of the social campaign and a public relations exercise?

Our real progress is not by Swacch Abhiyaan, or cleaning the Ganges, or by cleaning the streets of filth, it is the filth that lies in between us, our mindset that is so polluted, vilified that needs ‘ shuddhi karan! Don’t think, just because the stock market is zooming or the repo rate has been cut to boost the economy, that one can build more homes, have a better life style, if the women is battered, bruised and not given her worth, who are you going to enjoy the home with?

In fact, All Izz Not Well, admitting is the first step and then change will come. Till then the MNC’s manipulate deceive, dupe the girls into thinking the fair and lovely whiteness is the ticket to safety and freedom. My dear, you will still be killed, burnt, thrown acid at, aborted, raped, hung, murdered, just because the Creator made you a woman.

Being fair, rich or poor nothing saves you.