life and a little ramble

Every day my facebook wall is full of shares, soul full quotes, and positive inspirational messages, pick me-ups, positive reminders to believe in humanity and us. Each day when I wake up, and as religiously as others I check the online news, plus my wall and all I increasingly see is that people don’t write anymore but keep on sharing the positive life, logical Indian, the confused Indian, every religious saint or body under the sun along with the spiritual gurus of every country.

I think we all are shy people, and we hide our true emotions from the world, as we may be labeled as a soft hearted individual, or a gyaani or maybe scoffed as being too desi or a religious fundamentalist.

Yes, we must share but once in awhile, to read or to say what we feel is more cathartic than to hide behind the scenery with a line posted on it.

I feel subtly these shares do reflect the inner state of mind and one can trend how they feel at that very moment. What one cannot openly say, one hides behind these posters, which I think are written by a bunch of people who try and write those lines which get the maximum heart wrenching tears. Also, one can debate to the contrary and say we hide behind these posters and feel completely opposite to what we portray .The human mind is a complex machine and it can fool and also be fooled into projecting a completely different picture to the world, subconsciously.

It is important here to balance oneself in tandem to the materialistic world and the spiritual one we crave. We cannot live in isolation and as Guru Nanak has said repeatedly, we need to live like a householder but to expand our consciousness in such a manner that we do not lose ourselves in the material world.

In relationship to the world, be like the hawk that keeps a look out for possible dangers, when hunting for its prey. Be like the heron, which stands in water but is ever vigilant and seems to be in deep meditation but when the right moment comes catches the fish in a flash. Be still and be patient, calm your mind, relax it like a dog that sleeps with complete abandon but who wakes up within a split second if need be.

Our practices should be in such a manner that we perform the tasks to our best ability and with the best diligence but with little or no attachment.

Don’t get lost in the worlds duty’s and obligations because at the end of the day there will be a long list of chores left undone.

Just try and discover your self as all self-realization comes from within, from the Source. No one liner or a quote will change us, only when we embark on the journey do we begin life and learn, stumble, fall, crawl at a slow pace, creep along and occasionally get lost and get distracted but we all come back to where we started, and if we reach at the end of our journey we can truly arrive when we start giving back to others.

The NRI Returns

The Prodigal NRI returns

It’s the annual migration back to Punjab, they come back in droves and come to visit Punjab to soak the old achy bones in the sun or just attend weddings and be in the pind building a mammoth mausoleum that is a teaser for the village folks here who keep on thinking the grass is indeed greener on the other side. Over the years the hordes of phoren Punjabis who come back are all affiliated to some kind of religious dera. These deras that are all headed by a Sant all explaining the written religious word have become centers of immense power and can influence sections of society either way. Coupled with the large NRI population they all wield a lot of power over the population.

The NRI couple that comes back is so distinct and identifiable; they all have a slight puzzled bespectacled look on their face, carrying a black bag that always has all the important papers, tissues, the paracetamol 500 and the hand sanitizer!

They make a sweet couple, for they remember and cling on to the old values of the Punjab they left for the west for making a living. Not realizing that we also moved on and life changed here. They complain about the dust, the rising prices, and the garbage everywhere and that life was “ nice” way back. The habit to compare to times of the past and to say oh things were so cheap way back and now the prices are so high. My city has the largest number of NRI population and they all are here, driving the prices high, supporting the fashion industry, every store in town and can be spotted a mile high, holding the water bottle in hand, a large oversized bag, the smart phone and the hair that is piled way too high. She always has her nails done in a bright way with a pattern on one of them and she knows what she wants with to –do lists and cuttings and print outs all that are close to the Bollywood actresses outfits. This is one of the bibis, who stocks up on her annual stock of bindi, bangle, jutti and her favorite boutique suits so she can wear the path wala suit, evening wear one, wedding one and the simple afsos wala suit. Ms.NRI always wants a suit that is different from the next lady and no one else should have it and did should be different. I mean, how many different ways can you spell different.

The NRI couple always is very particular about their medicine, which their GP had given to them. GP is the general practitioner to the un- initiated. They always take their malaria medicine; have one for diarrhea and the flu shots and a gel that cures every ache and pain given by the roads. I am ready to accept all their little nuances and their subtle behavioral traits but I draw the line when they start interfering in the politics of my home state. Why should they be an authority on my state? They moved away, they started living there, adopting the new country and its laws, constitution and also taking up citizenship there. But, then they still will interfere in what happens here. Yes, please give back to the country, the state but dont act as inflammable torches by inciting the public ! A section of the public that gets incited and instigated into thinking that a different state is the answer to all  our ills. To ask for utopia for us, but go back to one’s adopted country is not what we want . Come visit us , be positive in your contribution to our growth , buy as many clothes you want , eat as many gol gappas you want , eat the kulfi , do the religious round but don’t instigate the youth into the dark ages. If you do so , well come live here and be part and not take the next flight back home.

Be the son of the soil , dig deep and set roots and then claim .

PS: Dont misuse religion under the cloak of whiteness to confuse the next generation further.

The crisp white kurta

The winter season sets in, and we all get busy in the regular rounds of marriages, bhog and akhand paths. I must warn you, I am not writing about the fairer sex nor am I writing about why the women of Punjab get possessed with the latest clothes, outsized bee shades or enough bling to blind anyone. They also get possessed with the words that didn’t exist before, base and primer. For the uninitiated I am not talking about the white washing and prep done for painting the house but just painting the face. Enough of this, we’d come to this another day. Today I wanted to write about the new breed of the politician that graces the occasion of these functions.

He belongs either to the ruling party or the opposite there are only two parties’ that exist in Punjab.  But, interestingly they both wear the whiter than white kurta pajama, made from the humble linen with a thread count that would put my Egyptian sheets to shame. The tailor who stitches is always a Muslim in some town of Malwa who has a long list of clients and stitches for the A- list politicians. This Tailor has a knack of making the clothes so tight that these men look as if something is keeping their spine straight. And then the young guy completes his ensemble with pointy leather shoes, which happen to be razor sharp; I wish that would have helped in razor sharp wit and cool in making Punjab a better place. The look is complete with the handle bar moustache and a pointy to the end and the de reguier designer watch and the Kara on the other wrist. He also carries two snazzy smart phones which have everyone’s number fed on them. This new breed sees politics as an answer to being busy. They all are dependent upon their fathers and some connection somewhere in the hierarchy and the ability to collect and mobilize youth to be a part of the crowd. The young strutting peacock that wears his plumage in shades of the rainbow and the whitest white that is always the envy. I mean, itni safedi, how and what do they use to vanish the dirt?

Pun intended.

If wearing white and crisp linen would help in solving Punjab and its boiling situation where we are being rocked by conspiracy every day I would gladly make everyone wear white every day . It is simple to hold protests, make a huge crowd and demonstrate and then even simpler to destroy public property. To actually find a solution peacefully, is what is a testament to a balanced politician who uses his brains and acumen wisely rather than rabble rousing to garner votes. The culture of attracting votes and to translate them into a victory over the other party remains the only aim now, and the heights or the lows which ever way one can take it is seen everyday where we bring relationships , any dirt we can dig out , finding past history’s or ones affairs. Why does that even begin to influence his or hers tackling the law order or the progress of the constituency?

Oh, I forgot , the whiter and more crisper the kurta the higher the standing. I have tried and failed miserably to convince Mianji that he might stitch me a white linen kurta so at least my posture might become straight but he says, sooha kurta is better for me and I think maybe the time has come for resurrection of the power of women.

I had to have the last word, you see.

We might save the unborn female and change the path of the land of five rivers where a sixth river has cropped up.

what women want !

This comes with a disclaimer in the beginning and I know it’s not the usual; one has to give it in the end. But, as kalyug is on us, and the life of a woman, which is valued only for nine days as the Goddess as the Shakti. However, for the rest of the year she is well free from rape, killing, assault, torture, ridicule and oh the simplest is just kill her for wearing a t-shirt and jeans!

Has anyone ever asked what do we want? Do we want to look fair and lovely? Do we want the white skin that is so portrayed on the television screen ad stares down from billboards pounding at us, telling us that if we did not have the white cream dewy pink tone we would not be attractive to the opposite sex and thus nothing good would be achieved. We would not marry, we would never get the dream job, nor would we ever win any competition. No matter, how good we were at any other thing or had better qualities we would never be the ideal bahu or the wife to our in-laws or husband. Even if she was the best cook, made the best samosas and served tea in the best fashion she would never match up the draconian standards of the marriage mart. Forever, she was doomed.

It is the subtle, systematic bombarding by the multinational companies that project an artificial white color so as to sell their products. This image so projected ingrains young girls, then teenagers and young women and later older ones to be guinea pigs to try fairness, lightening, tightening, wrinkle banishing products! Imagine a woman in our lifetime is subject to close 40 chemicals that she uses unknowingly uses to look beautiful in the eyes of the beholder and the society! Yes, we love to look pretty but the image that is thrust upon us. A woman is supposed to have the perfect figure, the right vital statistics and the beautiful, healthy, luxurious the tinted brown hair that mysteriously can be open till her waist but can coil up in a bun to suit the traditional image.

Girls remember, please you are a yo-yo. You are a woman of the 21^st century who can carry off the modern look with élan and be the corporate woman, but after hours you are the magical cook who can whip up all sorts of dishes, plus be the traditional home maker, rolled into a bai, cleaner, washer, driver, agony aunt all wearing the lovely contrast kurta with a bindi and a subtle gold chain and the twinkle of the diamonds. The crown sits heavy, my dear.

Women, want to be loved, respected, given attention, they want to be left alone. Honestly, we aren’t crazy bimbos who are forever strutting themselves so they look sexy, cool for the guys. Sometimes, we just do this for ourselves too! If the winged eyeliner is worn, it’s for the red and us to look cool or ox-blood color of the lipstick is because the fashion dictates not that the husband swoons over it. I don’t think they would even know what ox-blood is especially now, when the steak is banned; talking about beef is taboo.

You know those sassy statuses, the positive, inspirational quotes they all hold true for us. If they expect us to be Angelina Jolie or closer home Aishwarya or Deepika, suck in those bellies, and tone your sagging muscles and look like Brad Pitt or the sexy George Clooney and well we might consider.

Just let us be. If one is having a sad moment or is quiet, or is a bit angry do not be typical and blame it on PMS. It is not the answer for every thing. Yes, we have periods, get over it but our lives do not revolve around them. We all grew up we can handle the trauma. Its what makes us women.

Women, are stronger, smarter, and sexier and when challenged we fit on molds that are not even made! India, is an intolerant country . The ills of this country from rape , she asked for it , for having girls, she had them , for not getting promotion or the necessary promotion or the raise its all her fault . She is the woman who mysteriously influences and makes everything go wrong!  On this side of the border, Chinese food, chows Mein make the women go stir crazy and they ask for rape. And it just doesn’t stop there, wearing tights somehow doesn’t allow girls to absorb or inculcate education, tights have been banned! The weirdest that has me going crazy is that when someone is trying to rape you, stand there and say Bhaiya.

As, my whatsapp soul sisters say women only want attention  ,love , care and self respect . The new advertisement where she wants just her husband to acknowledge the pain and hurt and not to be just molly coddled and placated by a senseless sorry .

Some days , we just want to live life like a human and not have the dictates of the rigid, two faced society thrust on us . This goes on and on and has been since time immemorial but treat us well and we return back manifold to you , the world and everyone. Don’t judge us by color or the size of the body , shape , or the hair or our eyes , or the size of our breasts or the butt . Just, remember we have a soul brighter , older and as beautiful as yours with the same karma .