I failed

 I lost a child today and I was not even his mother. Bharathi, age 17 died due to complications arising from juvenile diabetes leading to renal failure. I know, I know kids who die young are angels who are loved more in heaven, it was their time, it was what was destined, it was in his stars and it was his past deeds and karma that led him to die young.

I have heard all the placations, the medical explanation and how and why and what .How does one explain ones heart? Bharati’s father named him so, as to represent the Hindu sect, all his other children have been named after the other remaining major religions of India. One has a Muslim name, Akbar, the other one is David and the sisters have Sikh names. The father himself is our villages self styled Goodman, Baba Bittu who does real social work that has a direct impact on the society. He collects money so as to marry off poor girls whose parents cannot afford weddings for their daughters. He celebrates all the major religions, having jagraatas, Sufi festivals, gurpurab and Mass as when the festivities are in the calendar.

So, if someone who earns so much karma, wouldn’t he be able to safeguard his children at least? Bharati was my student since the last three years. He wanted to be an automobile engineer, the word ‘how” did not figure in his dictionary. He just wanted to walk, speak, and talk English with a zeal that amazed me. He started coming to my school three years ago in the 8^th standard and was forever in a hurry to learn more, to absorb more and to pick up the nuances of English grammar because he said this is what sets us apart from the city children. Over the years this sensitive child who was forever the first one to organize the classes to celebrate Dushhera, Diwali and also helped us to stop bursting crackers in the village. THe first year we decided to not burst crackers, telling them that they were burning away money and causing pollution. He was the first one to help me, in enforcing this.

News like this is devastating and when it is in close quarters it makes one question ones faith in the higher self.

One of my friends said to me that I should have learnt form all my spiritual lessons and the books that I read, they should have taught me how to be calm and bear the loss. My books and lessons tell me that I should have the same reaction when their happiness and sadness. Calm is the word. I fail miserably in controlling my emotions. To console the parents is out of question as I am myself are broken.

The child still hovers in front of my eyes , with the spark in his eyes as he wanted to capture the world and it was his oyster …

Rumi , says

When he gives

He shows you His kindness

When he deprives,

He shows you His Power.

And in all that ,

He is making Himself known to you and

Coming to you with His greatness.

Ibn ‘Ata Allah al-Iskandari .