Dear Ms Manners

Dear Ms. Manners and the Saanu ki matron of the Holier than thou Indian Society,

Some days I love you, and also respect the traditional values that you have given me and inculcated in us and the unwritten code and unspoken invisible lines that we have to follow being bhartiya naris, but pardon the French haven’t you take it a bit too far this time?

The regression by a bunch of so called politicians who threatened a young girl with rape if she didn’t take her stance back. Why is the final frontier for all Indian men rape, to demean, to kill one’s spirit sexually and physically?  This is the easiest, most cowardly way of silencing us. Gurmehar kaur for whatever reasons stood up, took a stand, put up a placard and she is allowed that, as it is every Sham, Sunder and Surinder who voices his opinion in the university. These places are the bedrocks of civilization and this is from where revolutions, the next generation thinkers, artistes, businessmen and leaders are made, and the shame is that we try to silence the voice by threatening physical rape. How and where were they (boys) when we were getting bharitya marayada lectures? How do they skip them?

I think its because the boys were given less baths as they would have caught a cold and the accumulation of earwax. Its plain and simple, they have been molly coddled all their lives and then these puny little boys who are bullies grow up to be men who think bullying and using physical sexual force is the answer to silencing a woman. It happens everywhere in all our walks of lives.

In my village, last week a young girl got married with lots of fan fare, the entire community pitched in and there was genuine unaffected camaraderie and joy over the marriage. In our village, as in the case of every small Indian village, the entire population pitches in with helping out from the tents, to the tables to the rice and you guessed it right, potatoes! She went to her husbands house who blatantly informed her of the fact that he was living with someone else, and then intimidated her sexually, defiled her and paraded her naked and made video clips. Mentally broken, physically bruised, spirit broken, defiled, and sexually abused this young girl came back to be paraded through a system that needs physical proof and makes you go through the pain again and then more.

I just want to know, what makes the mind be so depraved that it will kill the spirit of another human being to just prove his superiority? Where is the swacch, where is the ucchta, where is the advancement or is it just limited to the Internet speed?

How is success measured? Why are the minds not developing?

Madam, how is that everything is in the domain of the woman? Her izzat, her reputation, everything is measured by her, from the samosas she serves that decides her marriage prospects, to the chai she serves, to the words she speaks.

Imagine, guys if samosas decided your marriage prospects. Please put yourself in my shoes, where the ability to make a round chapatti, and the knack to serve dishes, wash clothes, and to have a clean house is a judge of ones, never mind the brain that is kicking inside and oh I forgot to look like the next billboard model albeit wrapped up!

She is a young girl who voiced her opinion, we all are allowed that, that’s the way the seed of freedom was planted and took fruit, and yes women actively took part and no one threatened them with rape. So why now?

If Aamir Khan can proudly do his bit and proclaim Gurdeeep Singh and daughters, you all can proudly defend her and not be the biggest shittiest coward and threaten to rape.

What is your answer to role reversal? I might say, karma does go round and comeuppance does happen.

Yours,

A Confused Human who happens to be a woman .

Musings for Phoren people

Winter in Punjab is famous for grandiose, blingy weddings, sumptuous saag consumed in great quantities, followed by every one’s favorite acidity antidote, and well my favorite the long winding political discussions on the state of affairs of Punjab especially with the NRI’s who love to play the anti-establishment card. It gets heated over, I guess with the amount of masala chai consumed and the pinnis and gajrela eaten and well we have an explosive combination and I do not mean the passing of the wind but just loud voices and temper overdose.

One such relative had come over after the elections had finished and he said one of the main grudge he had was that when they the NRI’s construct or make something in the village they have to make umpteen rounds for the local politician to come and inaugurate it. My question to all of them is that if they are giving back to the society and to their native village, why do they need adulation?

Why are we as humans always striving for recognition? Why do we look for accolades and do we need to leave stamps and our names for the coming generations who are frankly not even bothered? Punjab is dotted with little plaques that just gather dust, sometimes buried under mounds. They keep on stressing that the politician asks for something in cash or kind and then inaugurates the school or building or whatever they have contributed to the betterment of the village.

It seems as a desire to leave something back, to feel as if they are still a part of the fibre and fabric of the state, its as if they’re identity is in danger of being wiped off if they don’t leave a monument! I guess that’s why Punjab is dotted with gates; different sculptures all proclaiming the name of its owner.

 Some have the most outdated notion of my state, they worry about muggings, chain snatchings, what to wear, how much money to carry, whether she could wear jewelry and just about hygiene and cleanliness! It’s a bit of comic sight because they stand out with their Punjabi, language, diction that is too pure, and the way they look. I have seen walking around with their water bottles, and the ladies carrying their hand bags in bags that are meant to disguise but don’t and the favorite paracetamol and Advil bottles. Everything is nice to them, but a bit dirty, and it keeps on getting dirtier by the minute. Here, I do agree with them, we to the outsiders are a bit hard to digest with the over flowing bins, crazy traffic dotted with cows, rickshaw walas, scooters, men, women, beggars selling bizarre things in your face and just a lot of daredevilry and their biggest fear traveling at break neck speed with no seat belt and music blaring. The other thing I find annoying and here I speak for all women all over is men peeing everywhere and then trying to scratch and check whether they have lost ‘me. Please, please do this in private.

All my brethren that comes back means well, they support our industry, help us in a lot of activities, medical camps and do a lot of charity but why not set up a corpus fund to educate the masses, to change the mindset of the society, to be more tolerant of each other, help us change our outlook so that we all collectively help Punjab to rise.

The Martians aren’t coming, the middle order is us, the elves gave up, there is no magic that one can go harness to teleport all the mess to a black hole, the magic is within and we all have that spark that just needs to be kindled to deliver .

Call me an eternal optimist , I feel the revolution is not in the hands of another political party that is a mix of the same old people who are disgruntled with their older parties who are selling the same old wine in anew bottle , but in our hands collectively , together to usher in peace .

And , lastly , I wish that if they contribute they would not do to fund radicalism back in the state, we need a quieter and peaceful state !

Musings for Phoren people

Winter in Punjab is famous for grandiose, blingy weddings, sumptuous saag consumed in great quantities, followed by every one’s favorite acidity antidote, and well my favorite the long winding political discussions on the state of affairs of Punjab especially with the NRI’s who love to play the anti-establishment card. It gets heated over, I guess with the amount of masala chai consumed and the pinnis and gajrela eaten and well we have an explosive combination and I do not mean the passing of the wind but just loud voices and temper overdose.

One such relative had come over after the elections had finished and he said one of the main grudge he had was that when they the NRI’s construct or make something in the village they have to make umpteen rounds for the local politician to come and inaugurate it. My question to all of them is that if they are giving back to the society and to their native village, why do they need adulation?

Why are we as humans always striving for recognition? Why do we look for accolades and do we need to leave stamps and our names for the coming generations who are frankly not even bothered? Punjab is dotted with little plaques that just gather dust, sometimes buried under mounds. They keep on stressing that the politician asks for something in cash or kind and then inaugurates the school or building or whatever they have contributed to the betterment of the village.

It seems as a desire to leave something back, to feel as if they are still a part of the fibre and fabric of the state, its as if they’re identity is in danger of being wiped off if they don’t leave a monument! I guess that’s why Punjab is dotted with gates; different sculptures all proclaiming the name of its owner.

 Some have the most outdated notion of my state, they worry about muggings, chain snatchings, what to wear, how much money to carry, whether she could wear jewelry and just about hygiene and cleanliness! It’s a bit of comic sight because they stand out with their Punjabi, language, diction that is too pure, and the way they look. I have seen walking around with their water bottles, and the ladies carrying their hand bags in bags that are meant to disguise but don’t and the favorite paracetamol and Advil bottles. Everything is nice to them, but a bit dirty, and it keeps on getting dirtier by the minute. Here, I do agree with them, we to the outsiders are a bit hard to digest with the over flowing bins, crazy traffic dotted with cows, rickshaw walas, scooters, men, women, beggars selling bizarre things in your face and just a lot of daredevilry and their biggest fear traveling at break neck speed with no seat belt and music blaring. The other thing I find annoying and here I speak for all women all over is men peeing everywhere and then trying to scratch and check whether they have lost ‘me. Please, please do this in private.

All my brethren that comes back means well, they support our industry, help us in a lot of activities, medical camps and do a lot of charity but why not set up a corpus fund to educate the masses, to change the mindset of the society, to be more tolerant of each other, help us change our outlook so that we all collectively help Punjab to rise.

The Martians aren’t coming, the middle order is us, the elves gave up, there is no magic that one can go harness to teleport all the mess to a black hole, the magic is within and we all have that spark that just needs to be kindled to deliver .

Call me an eternal optimist , I feel the revolution is not in the hands of another political party that is a mix of the same old people who are disgruntled with their older parties who are selling the same old wine in anew bottle , but in our hands collectively , together to usher in peace .

And , lastly , I wish that if they contribute they would not do to fund radicalism back in the state, we need a quieter and peaceful state !