Conversations With Biji 2

Every day I come across these quotes and lines by people , philosophers, poets and sometimes lines made by smart copy writers which do offer solace and make sense, they always do by the way , but to practice what we’re preaching is so difficult . I just remembered I can’t use any French words . 

When you walk into doors , tables and furnitures like I do , you get physically hurt , there is pain and more than often a bruise is left , a mark is there . And that fades with time and you get better and there is a mental check in your mind  where you don’t let it happen or as in my  case its still happening . I meet furniture , doors and just about anything . My poor knees are testament to it , they are creaking .

But , there is a side of us , that is hurt by others words ,actions and there is no way we can quantify them . I mean you can’t say oh I was hurt a kilo by her , or the betrayal cost me 5 tons or it took up space as much as my home. There isn’t any measure when we are hurt , betrayed or our trust is broken , there is undeniable pain . A mark that is invisible , just like the Death Eaters . 

However, the reaction to this , the getting angry , the planning of revenge , that is beyond pain , that is suffering . I don’t mean physical covert harm to the other here . We are not talking of MI5 here , or any other histrionics , I am talking about what goes in our mental frame work. We start with , I am in pain . I have been mistreated , I deserve more .

Look how , the I becomes foremost , when we start talking to ourselves. The mental commentary that we are having in our mind glorifies the ego and it creeps in and we start to wallow in self pity . If you have been harmed , no doubt that what happened was wrong , but the way you react to the situation in your head makes it worse . Now you are suffering because you can’t stop thinking about it . We go back to the incident or moment again and again and self pity sets in . All those creepy clingy emotions of the past come forth and take dominance and because we are feeding the negativity , it becomes bigger . 

Here , is where one has to stop. Count your blessings , be positive , instead of glorifying our ego and aggravating and enhancing the pain.  I don’t wish to be sanctimonious or superior in anyway , trust me I get mad and feel the pain just as much as you do and maybe am a bigger softie than all of you combined . I cry at the drop of the hat . 

You always have a choice to look at things differently and to deal with it because what I have  learnt in these years is that only you and only you will walk in your shoes , and you get to live it . So choose , wisely . Pain comes from harm , but suffering is how we choose to deal with the pain . Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

A lot of times, people won’t choose you , or will feel youre not good enough or they will have some grudge against you , you can’t fix them , you change your reaction to them . This is my take and as always we can either use this or skip !

Ps : This gyaan has been sponsored by a perfect cup of Hazel nut coffee, post covid amnesia , and gray hair .