The Summer Selfies

Its summer time, everyone is on a chutti. The power corridors of the government are on a holiday where they are studying something inconsequential which will never be applied in Punjab. The Minister, his wife, daughter, and son in law the 2.3 kids, the secretary, and the personal assistant have flown away. Every banker, officer, doctor I know have all gone for the lucrative 5 night 6 day package to some other foreign locale. Mango people have all gone to Manali, Shimla and are causing traffic jams for ordinary commuters. Every day, Bookzilla pops up advertisements where rooms are available for Rest 500.

The aim admit under the stress of what will the mohalla wala say, or what will the society say is taking these holidays to ensure they can proudly say oh we went there, and proof is the immediate upload of pictures on Facebook.

Coming to that later, my karigars also went on a religious yatra to Baba Balak Nath ! The maid took off for some place in the hills, they certainly are enjoying more than me! Its been a catch 22 situation where she said she needed time off so she can relax and make herself free from tension. I immediately sent her with my blessing and a bribe so she may come back and I earned brownie points in this fashion.

I have not found any answer to this. However this affliction which is found where one gets one’s henpecked husband to take 18 pictures with the duck pout and hair framing perfectly, and the shades in place with the perfect nude make and shimmer – up and the right posturing is done is a disease. It has caught with everyone, children, mothers, and aunties, newly wed, and holiday goers in foreign locales. In fact, its become a trend to first shop for the holiday to wear the latest dresses, mini skirt s, minuscule shorts, and the other so called modern clothing! With flip-flops for one’s feet!

I mean what happened to comfortable clothing! I have friends who have taken pictures, which are then vetted by their wives who make sure it is making them look beautiful, pretty and then it is uploaded with a check in. And, heaven forbid you don’t have a Wi-Fi connection; the immediate validation by the check in is proof that you have actually gone for a holiday. It starts from the travel from hometown, from the airport where you post a check in along with a smart catchy one liner ensuring the maximum likes.

My sons think I have the same problem too, in fact the only difference is that it doesn’t bother whether I look good or not. This year at Manali , a couple fell and hurt themselves badly when trying to take a selfie ! They injured themselves rather badly. When I was travelling in Bhutan, I was guilty of a lot of these but at one place when we were climbing to reach to Tiger’s Nest, there were explicit instructions to not take selfies or take photographs on the path, as the other side was a sheer drop and a lady tourist from Thailand had lost her life in early March; just when she was taking a selfie with the panorama at the back.

Sometimes, these fads are dangerous and life threatening. My brother who is a Doctor calls them a serious affliction and also points out young kids especially girls who start posturing them selves with a tilt of their neck, injure themselves requiring a medical attention later.

Till then, we as a nation are led by a PM who is an expert in taking selfies and posting them on the social media, who am I to complain? I always live in hope for acche din.

Education and Dreams

I have been running an after school hours for underprivileged children in my village for the last three years and finally this year the children sat for their Punjab board exams and I was as anxious as if they were my exams. No surprise, the girls came first and topped their individual schools in and around the five kilometer vicinity. The boys also did well, securing first divisions and that gave them an extra edge over the rest of the village boys. They were simply better. The change in their personality and demeanor as they were something was visible and apparent.

Next came the question of what to choose, what stream to follow. The dreams are big. One wants to become an automobile engineer, his father is the local in house Baba. The father gets mass weddings done for poor girls! His is a story for another day, One of them wants to join the police force and become an IPS officer, mind you when you see her, you see this mouse of a girl but the fire burning in her eyes, makes you believe in her grit.  There are many who want to join the police or the armed forces seeing it to be the deliverance from poverty and to be assured of a steady income. Facing the enemy’s bullet doesn’t deter them. There is one who dreams of being a Master Chef, and seeing her you know how much the West has invaded us1

Are these dreams doable? Do they seem attainable for children who studied under aboard that teaches them in Punjabi, doesn’t bother with compulsory attendance, passes them till the standard 8^th, and relies mainly on set questions that are learnt by rote and answered and ensures inflated imaginary results.

But, the rude shock is when these children stand nowhere. They do not fit into any commerce, medical or non – medical stream. Citing results, and displaying a few pictures does not encompass the whole scenario of the children who pass out but have no future. How many children form rural background of Punjab actually became a Doctor, engineer or an accountant or became a direct commissioned officer? Why do we let them dream and then we snatch them away from them cruelly, jerking them and throwing them into a menial cesspool of ordinary jobs. I don’t debase any ordinary work, someone has to do them so that the wheels of the society turn, but here the majority is sucked into this. How do I explain a child that just because he want pushed enough by his government teacher and he was told to study by “guides (a parallel industry is based on these) earmarked specific questions that he cannot compete with the rest in the college?  It just keeps on getting worse; the sports players are playing sports that don’t even have a mention in the national games roster. What is an American game doing in the heartland of Punjab that is known as the cradle of our national game hockey? Who plays baseball, any way? Babe Ruth Singh.

I am as guilty as my ministers and the educationists who sit in some hallowed halls of Chandigarh or the great seats of learning who have set up a school board that is far removed from reality.

The old age saying and the Biblical meaning ‘ spare the rod, spoil the child ‘ is what is coming back to haunt us. When are we going to sit up and take notice of the rot in our education system? Asking my children who look up to me for paving their future by respectable white collared jobs to do diploma courses, or enhance them selves by skill development courses just sends a message that I am also as guilty as the rest plus I fail like the rest asking them to settle for second best.

Punjabis, just don’t know how to settle for second best. It in in our nature to persevere and persevere we shall…

I will always be a princess

Why I will always be a Princess?

I am I, a female born, who has lived her life with happiness, sadness and sorrow, but as I lay on my final deathbed I just realized something like an epiphany, or the way Newton discovered gravity when apple was falling down from the tree. I will always be a Princess, a Kaur, a Kumari and nothing and no one can take it away from me till I let them.

It’s the same as giving someone the key to happiness of your life, we can only be happy if we want to be; yes there are external forces that dictate it but we have to be at peace with oneself to let happiness seep around us.

From time immemorial our Gods and Gurus have given us equal place to Man. Imagine a society where women were considered inferior, they did not have any say in the society, they were actually considered distractions to advancement in spiritual advancement. . It was Guru Nanak who led the path breaking change in the society and revolted against the stringent attitude of men who considered women as chattels. Guru Nanak, equated man and woman equal, he made no distinction in their status. This was un heard of. Women have had to fight for this fundamental right of equality and it is still continuing down the ages and times. This remains till now.

He was the first person to allow women in sangat, congregation without any discrimination on the basis of their sex, they could engage in all religious practices. He also, said man is born of woman, within woman man is conceived, it is she who he becomes engaged to, he marries her, and when she dies, he seeks another woman, he is bound to Her. So why call her Bad? From her, Kings are born. From woman, woman is born; without woman, there would be no one at all. (SGGS, p.473).

In Sikh religion all credit of nobility is given to a woman. In our religion, countless warrior women have changed and shaped the destiny of the race. Guru Amar Das, condemned sati, purdah practice and refused to meet the Queen of Haripur as she was wearing a veil. He all (women as well as men) acknowledges the same God as his or her own; Show me anyone who does not. Each person is responsible for his (or her) own actions and shall have to settle his (or her) own account.”(Guru Amar Das in ‘Suhi ki Var’) “They are not suttees who burn themselves with their dead husbands; rather they are suttees, Nanak, who die with the mere shock of separation from their husbands. And they too, are to be considered suttees, who abide in modesty and contentment, who wait upon their Lord and rising in the morning, ever remember Him.” “Women burn themselves in fire with their husbands; if they appreciate their husbands, they undergo sufficient pain by their death. If they appreciate them not, Nanak, why should they burn at all?” (GG, 787)”

When all this was in my genetic code, how can I not be a royal regal person? I am a princess is what I reaffirm to myself. When the Gods have blessed me, how can a mere mortal take my title away?

In the end, we as women need to remember one thing, we have been given this stature, this title by our Gurus, how can another mortal, who is born of us take it away.

Girls, young and old, women beautiful and pretty do not let any make you feel any less. You are you; no one can take it away from you! The name given to men when they were baptized was Singh, a lion; a woman is given the name Kaur, a princess, which remains with her till she dies. Guru Gobind Singh gave her equal rights; he condemned feticide and also forbade any proprietary rights by men over women captured in battle.

My last breath, reminds me that even if the body dies, the soul still remains a princess and that is how I fight back to live another day. 

Rats are jumping!!

Houston, we have a problem, is one of the iconic lines you’ve ever heard, but that was for a space problem and well that anecdote is for another day, I have one closer to home. We have been run over by rats in the outer quarters of our farm.  The rat here is not be mistaken for oh cho chweet Jerry of the famous childhood cartoon partner, nor is he the Ratatouille rat who became a chef in the heart of Paris, this is the common type garden variety rat that has invaded our farm

. A huge number of you are going to make fun of me, and say what do you expect, you do live on the farm? The rest are going to make fun and be the smart Alec and reply, they are meant to be there in the eco system, some of the fanatics who swear by Maneka Gandhi and her particular animal activism.

One of the persons so affected had tried everything in his quarter. He went for work in the morning, leaving his room perfect and when he came back for lunch, he was in for a surprise. He came to the main house and told me, ‘ In the morning when I had gone for work, the curtains were in place and were of full length, the mattress was fine, and my trouser was hanging behind the door.’ Now the curtain is of half-length, the mattress has holes and the trouser has been bitten at all places.

He was ready to cry and went away after I consoled him that we would look into this matter. I handled everything in the perfect government manner and a bureaucrat worth his service would have been proud of him. The minute he went, I turned and burst out laughing, the curtain reminded me of the chocolate advertisement, where the tailor invariably shortens the trouser to shorts, thanks to mumbling by the boys eating chocolate.

One of the operators at the cold store, who is an ex-army Subedaar sahib, even submitted a letter in English worthy of a classic piece to be kept in the archives for future generations, it was addressed to the Manager and had the usual salutations. The line that jumped out was, Sir, the rats are jumping a not letting me sleep. Mind you, the rats there are white furry albino alien type ones that can scare the enemy away! We think breeding them is a better defense against the enemy of the country.

Rats are vermin for us and we set traps everywhere to catch them. The karigars have a good answer; they say the rats don’t eat or spoil their clothes, they have this reasoning, you respect them, and they respect you back. One of them Raj, said that just because his tadka (seasoning was so good) to his vegetables and dal, did the rats get tempted.

The gatewallah, who was a pro at this, got Rat kill, these are small round balls of poison, chocolate in color and they are put in corners, the rat comes in and eats them and goes out in the open and dies.

However, the ones here on the farm are smart and I think due to genetic modification that has invaded them also, they just jump avoid all these poisons. They also cut the wires to the new hi- tec equipment sold to us unsuspecting Punjabis by this company; they promised that the frequency emitted by the contraption would not let the rats come near the premises of the farmhouse!

However, these rats have outwitted us by not eating the poison, not being affected by the hi tec equipment we put up as surveillance equipment or even being trapped by the rat traps dotting the house by the dozen.

The servants and the others have started wearing shorts; they aren’t cutting them shorter, and also have left them alone. We have perfect harmony now, we live with the rats, and they let us co-exist by not spoiling our food or eating away our curtains. 

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Her grandmother had kept her name; she was Nanaki to the world, but pyaar se nanu to her Daadi. All those loving endearment, love showered to her and the gentle prodding to do better had all stopped when Raj had presented to her parents. Matches made in heaven, don’t worry she can study later, she will have a comfortable life, what more does she want and well she was married. How easily we let a girl be manipulated by these words by our well-wishers? It was as if she wasn’t a living human being who didn’t dream or have hopes , but just the fact she was a girl , her only raison de arte in life was to get married. God had let her take birth so she may marry and procreate.

Shrugging these thoughts, she was rudely woken out of her day dreaming when someone dropped a bag on her feet. Curbing an expletive, she looked up shaken from her reverie, and met a little girl who was holding tightly a harassed man’s hand, presumably her father. She said sorry was ready to cry, as her father kept on saying Rukhsana what is wrong with you? Can’t you be careful? Look what you did. Aunty is hurt.

N didn’t know what to say, she got up and her bag fell in the same way again on her feet, and she looked at the little girl with the dimpled cheeks and started laughing. This was so typical of her, to have things falling at her and she would get hurt and smile and move on.

Taking the little girls hand she said, ‘Its ok’.

It doesn’t hurt; look all the fingers are fine!

Nothing prepared her, for the little girls answer, who said, Aunty I can see your tears.

She made space for the little girl, who sat with her on the same berth. Her father, apologetic, uncomfortable in front of two females who were clearly bonding and he was the alien amongst them.

He sat in front of them, taking off his skullcap and just put his bag on the side and said, Hi! I am Anwar and am travelling to Malerkotla to drop off Rukhsana with Ammi.

He looked so tired, with hair all over the place , some seem to be sticking in all angles, and he seemed awfully young . And, then she was caught like a deer which gets stunned and paralysed with lights from an incoming car.It was his yes that just were so beautiful ,like melted chocolate.

She quickly averted her eyes , and looked out of the window, what was wrong with her?N , was a sucker for sexy eyes, eyes that were the windows to the world, to the honesty that reflected in them but at this point.Mad, mad she was.