teens and technology

Teens and technology
From the clay slate of our forefathers to the inter-active interfaces of the next gen-x; technology has taken a giant leap. Mankind all over the planet is facing problems of concern whether they maybe environment pollution, global warming, water shortage, insufficient crop production or erratic weather patterns, to name it a few. What is encouraging is that the next generation... the teens of today and the adults of tomorrow all are optimistic they know and believe that a greener solution is attainable and possible via technology. The plunging temperatures of 2010, rising temperatures in the summer, with glacial melt-downs all will be a thing of the distant past. Powered by technology and fuelled by creativity, fundamental change is about to emerge in the electronically connected world they inhabit. Gasoline powered automobiles, compact discs; desk-tops are headed for the technology scrap yard or the graveyard! The next-gen feels that their i-pods, lap-tops, cell phones are entry level tools that combined with education and creativity will lead to changes that improve the world.
Gurmehar Sangha , class twelfth student home form Sanawar aims to be a automobile engineer and his dream is to design a fuel – efficient car on the line of the new Mercedes engine , but as he says his would have zero emissions !! You will probably read this and say tall claims but, no that’s what not they perceive. The fierce determination and the steely look in the eyes say it all. Acc. to a survey, 33% of the young adults say that gasoline powered cars will be obsolete by 2015. The tech-savvy teen with the phones which are smart, which lets them access the web, text, download tunes a flash drive which is their real wealth. They seem to be incomplete without them; they can’t even begin to comprehend life without their external organs…Teens believe that global issues have solutions which can be solved collectively by working together to apply new technologies and innovative thinking to concerns which affect the world. The advantage which these kids have is that they are not bound by boundaries which have been created by the so- called custodians of Earth: the politicians. They have not been jaded, or haven’t become cynical to life or the challenges thrown by it.
Using cell –phones to download music, to search, face book to keep in touch globally and to blog communicating ideas is fun but the teens of India are optimistic that creativity is unleashed by computers and modern technology can help solve global issues like clean water. Pune, students top the list in the country in blogging and researching. 91% think that technology will help and 89% think that hunger can be eradicated by the end of 2015. Disease eradication (88%) , pollution will be down and energy conservation are within the realm of our reach.
These electronically connected teens will develop better solutions which seem un surmountable. The teens, the actual wealth of ours have hopes of changing destiny and the actual tryst with history will begin (to paraphrase Nehruji’s speech)! Today’s teen is more comfortable with technology. It is their domain, the comfort zone, the security blanket without which they seem rudderless. A mother of teen age boys says that they know more what to do, how to restore or work the computer more than her. It seems times have changes where smart was a compliment attributing to the person’s appearance or his overall bearing now it has a different meaning. Smart is used for the smart phone you carry! One which handles everything of your life to the time you get up, to the notes you need to text email, book transportation pay bills, withdraw money. The only thing Mr. Jobs hasn’t figured out is the substitute for love, but there are reports he is working on it, after all it is a chemical reaction, as the teens say!
The positive trend is that teenagers feel that learning computers has opened horizons which were not available or were not know n before to them. Onkar Sangha , who has just finished his boards from Sanawar hopes to become a doctor but wants to study robotics at the same time to use robots to perform surgery in the future. This idea he says all came from browsing the net. Just, imagine the fertile mind which is given fodder by the internet or the wide platform available to them. Of course, there is the downside as always there is, technology is used by kids where bullying is not on the school playing fields but cyber space. 25% of the kids felt threatened at one point of time by peers or by their friends who resorted to intimitadation via the next frontier.Students are bullied in the first year for over a period of one month and the forms include verbal bullying, exclusion socially, in some cases sexual insult and the worst one of all spreading of rumors. Mrs Sandhu, found out that her daughter was being targeted after she found her sullen ad depressed after she had joined a new school Girls are targeted more, when they are online. The pressure to fit in to an all girl’s school to be in the ‘group’ made her vulnerable, she says. The comments are nasty and also physical; she had to tell the principal who pulled up the girls this happened in an elite convent all –girls’ school of Chandigarh.
Another aspect of technology is sexting which is gaining grounds in today’s world, where teenagers are resorting to sexual virtual foreplay mixed with today’s technology. This is gaining ground and is giving vent to the raging hormones which start rearing their head. Some kids however are against it and want to wait for the real thing. The chat/ texting take sexual connotations as a substitute to the parental controls. It is an easier way to circumvent the parental control.
Putting aside the couple of problems which we as parents face, it is a positive note which ushers in 2011 where our next generation is upbeat and optimistic to tackle the problems of the society on a smaller scale and humanity at large
Ravneet Sangha

Reading pane settingsThe New Year resolution is an annual ritual for tens of millions of people who make them, and for god reason. It’s a perfect time to re-evaluate the past twelve months, a time to set goals, adjust priorities. Every year’s end people all over the planet give themselves firm intentions that beginning of the New Year we are going to lose weight be more confident, achieve more success and travel. Surprisingly, enough losing weight figured in 92% people’s wish-list and success and money came after! Just goes to show the low self –esteem we all suffer from. Gym enthusiasts and exercise freaks swear by diets, cardio and abs–crunches and one house-wife Tanu has drastically started the K challenge and a cabbage soup diet to fit into her dress for New Year’s Eve. She swears by this diet and expects to knock the extra weight to usher in the New Year.

Women of the city also swear to spend more time with their children but it is so difficult in the rounds of parties and weddings and girl- time/ kitty parties. As the New Year approaches they are making up by taking them out to the local bowling alley or organizing them in after-s school classes to occupy them! Duneep is finally fulfilling her desire to get herself a tattoo proclaiming her to be a pure desi jatti.

The rush of the days, the heady feeling that the year is ending is giving vent to all suppressed desires and feelings. Be it a new hair color or the newest laser treatment. For men, it’s giving into the latest car accessory and in some cases giving into purchasing the latest car.

Resolution (n): a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner. The act of making up your mind about something.



New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~Mark Twain



Every year starts and ambitiously we make lists and jot down what all we want to achieve, to realize aspirations, to make the present year count more. Humans have the distinct ability to plan, to comprehend the situations and to act accordingly. This particular trait drives all of us to make goals, to- do lists and to make constructive plans. But, wait the year is ending and the decade too. We all started out this year with ambitious goals which we wanted to achieve and conquer. The lofty sights we had set our eyes on are all attainable and near if we follow a simple methodology.Unfortunately, we get so caught up in life that in the hustle –bustle they get chucked into the background and we defer it for another day. Does that extra day ever come? Is it created for us especially by God, squeezing in the magical day via the time turner which Hermoine has? Life would be so simple and easy if we all could control the ticking of time. Father Time has never waited for anyone.

The countdown has already started, with barely 10 days to go for the year to start and the new decade to begin….. It’s time to finish those goals and it’s not exactly rocket science which one needs to learn. It’s simple, doable, at first dig out the list which you had made in the beginning of the year, if not made well put it down in clear words in actual sentences what all you wanted to do this year. Let the writing stare back at you, not out of sight out of mind. Let the resolutions be like the feel of actual crisp green money in one’s hands!!

Well, after you’ve ticked off what all you have achieved till the nth month decide what things will help you to keep the resolutions which you had made. The important thing here is to actually start doing things maybe in baby steps to realize them. If you expect a meteor shower or magic, well that’s all corny. It just doesn’t happen .Put your resolutions in to action, if you wanted the six-abs or a size zero dreaming about is not going to help. However, long you salivate over the supermodel’s figure or keep on wishing, it’s just not going to happen till you stop picking up the next piece of cake! Start now so you can achieve the resolutions because it’s worth it and so are you.Gurbinder Singh Anand realized his resolution by simply picking up the cash bowl/box in front of the holy book –Sri Guru Granth Sahibji.He says,” I would like everyone to remove the golak that lies in front of our holy books and our godly idols- why make HIM like a beggar, we can keep such donation boxes in separate rooms.

It is also important that at the end of the year, when the New Year is going to start we also do some emotional wellbeing. Celebrate the new you by putting behind all that has been stopping you from spreading out your wings and has been acting as a mill stone dragging you down. Usher in the new decade by letting go and liberating so that we are happier and in turn healthier. Being comfortable in one’s own skin is what Yogeet Brar says is her resolution. Often we judge or live our lives in accordance with the society and external factors forgetting ourselves, and making us dysfunctional. Nothing is worth warping the mind, body and soul.

Along with, realizing the goals at the fag-end of the year try taking control of the society and environment around you. Jasjit Sihota , an NRI farmer form the US says How about trying to be a better person ? and quotes, Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow has not yet come. WE have only today. Let us begin.” Mother Teresa. Not trying to be sanctimonious here, but until unless we all collectively start taking steps to resolve the problems facing us , there wouldn’t be a next person to blame it on!

who am i??

Saying that you are proud to be an Indian isn’t much different than saying you’re born on a Monday- you are just stating a fact not an achievement to be proud of. Are you even aware of the fact what it means to be born as an Indian? We remember our identity as clockwork only when the national holiday comes. The free day albeit with full salary is a day of rejoice not because of the underlying sentiments but because we get paid to be home. What an achievement. Rajnish, an office goer at the Local courts is happy and nonchalantly says, it’s fun because it gets combined with the week-end, and thus I don’t need to go to work.
The ridiculously, outlandish celebrations in shades of orange and green the loud sloganeering, and the louder caricatures of Bharat Mata portrayed in a white sari with a green border Hema Malini style. The overdose of patriotic color and the customary display of flags everywhere die out when the de rigueur ribbon cutting is over and laddoos are distributed.
Why no thoughtful, intelligent, low-key, austere function where one remembers the sacrifice of the soldiers who have died in battle-fields for us? Why do we have to prove that we are Indian by loud over- the top functions? Do we wake up for one day , discharge our national duty for that particular time frame finish and the rest of the 364 days we get divided into narrow , compartments of religion or state identities. Where has all this bigotry come? We all shout Mera Bharat mahaan from the day we enter our nursery classes but according to a recent survey carried out by an online net magazine:
If you live in Punjab,or another part of India, are you an Indian citizen, or how do you see yourself first and foremost?
As an Indian
As a Punjabi
As a Sikh
As a Sikh- Indian
The shameful results are as follows in order of choices given: 8.7%, 9.3%, 69.8%, and 12.2%.
Isn’t this shocking? Why are we being fragmented into compartments by religion? Dr GS kalkat says he is an Indian living in Punjab practicing Sikhism. Let us at least follow this octogenarian’s diktat and not get narrowed by the grandiosity of religion. Simply being born into as Sikh family or a Hindu family earns you nothing. By mere happenstance you find yourself linked to Sikh religion. You are given a basic understanding of your religion which maybe any..Hinduisim, Islamic, Jewish, Christianity or even Buddhism. There is a certain amount of assimilation of religion via the media, intenet,pamphlets, books visits to the temples but does that make you a Hindu, Sikh, Muslim?
So, does this make you to be Sikh for eg? Richard Dawkins, in his book The God Delusion mentions a pet peeve of his. He loathes it when children are identified as Christian children, or Muslim children etc...
Why do we start labeling them? These labels are cultural context to the children in which they define themselves and they obtain a sense of moral guidance. Dawkin however insists that morality comes from within and resists the proposed monopoly structured religion claims on human morality.
A poll participant called Rabia Sultan from across the border, Multan says we are human beings first and last nothing else. It is important that we should all have a cohesive national identity as opposed to personal religious identity. On the last count, there was no significant medical discovery or break through which professed in distinguishing the color of the blood by its religious identity. There is however the lucrative Nobel Prize for medicine which is up for grabs till immemorial if anyone happens to decipher the code.
As a nation we need to embrace oneness rather than get sold to the highest bidder in the dirty game of politics.

gori , chitti kudi

Vikram Seth wrote his great epic novel A Suitable Boy in 1993, I’m waiting for his next; Suitable Girl which is coming out in 2013. It would be an interesting read to say the least. I was sourcing advertisements for my magazine Nirmal Marg.Like all enterprises the God of Mammon comes into play in all enterprises whether they are charitable or otherwise. Altruism is scarce, you see. Punjab has a mind-set where parents meaningfully want to marry their daughters at an early age and they advertise through matrimonial advertisements. My marketing manager was very enthusiastic and assured me of a great return and started projecting increasing profits. When I told him that we would not accept any advertisement which blatantly characterizes a woman as “fair ‘he was taken aback. This got me thinking and the result is…..
Fair,
Fair around 25,
Fair, good looking, well propertied….
Fair professional!
Pretty slim, fair tall professionally qualified girl.
Fair and simple preferably in US/ Canada
Fair and beautiful …. Oh that is really simple
Fair, clean habits… umm! What do you mean by this one? Does this mean she should have OCD (Obsessive cleanliness Disorder?)
Why this fixation with fair, gori chitti kudi?
This obsession actually exists both sides of the border. The Pakistan Punjab is worse than us, but let’s get into that another day. From fixations about caste and virginity in the 1930’s the focus shifted to education and parity between partners. In the 1930’s and 1940’s a typical matrimonial advertisement consisted of a desire to find a handsome, healthy , fair virgin girl, western fashioned, highly educated , need not approach. I mean are we talking of a human being or just reproductive stock? You know how they check cattle lines for better milk production.
When we gradually progressed to the 1960’s a family’s connections was a popular request along with grooms who had government jobs. The underlying requirement of a gori bahu remained. The colonial hangover remained. To have a demure, fair white daughter in law epitomized success in the society. The 1970’s and 80’s saw many ads. For fair, tall, homely and convent educated girls (i.e. the ones who could speak English).Education was taking root and there was a high demand from educated men who wanted life partners compatible to them.
We progressed to the 90’s where education mattered but social status was what the deciding factor was; but the white fixation remained. The adjectives became more sophisticated, the words inter-changed but the bottom line was the same. The requirement started with fair and ended with white. Where else but in Punjab, which raised the bar for wheat production in the country and brought laurels coined a phrase ‘wheatish complexion’. Are we supposed to look at the husk or the inner color of the grain? Why have we started equating a human being on the basis of the color which can be scientifically broken down on the basis of the gene she carries? Why have we become ruthless buyers of flesh based on color and have forgotten the inner beauty of the soul which exists breathes, not tinged by color.
An US study says that Indians have a preference for light skin because skin color and caste are connected in the Indian imagination. Dating and career success, they say are further linked to skin color. These sources further admit that colors in India is related to British colonialism and the importance of a color-based hierarchy : but that was then and today India still embraces prejudice against dark-skinned people, and thereby creating a market for these unsavory products. Dr Anu GoelM.D., a leading cosmetologist of Jalandhar says that 90% of the cases which she sees everyday lead to in a roundabout fashion that, ‘help us, we want to lighten our skin tone.” The Punjabi mother wants her mother to look white. She also states that it is ironical that men are dark but the desire to marry white is a pre-requisite of a successful marriage. The exploitation and the manipulation products which are in the market are so high that we contribute the second highest revenue to the cosmetic industry. Dr. Anu also says that 90% of the whitening products available in the market for consumer are crap and cause damage sometimes leading to severity in the form of skin cancer.
The obsession for being white cannot be solely blamed on insecure individuals or a now internalized colorism.A white skin obsession is instigated by the MNC’s – for profit. It is not simply a legacy of the British Raj. The Face book Application which Vaseline has introduced is one such kind which plays upon the Indian Men’s insecurities (the next frontier).Even the advertisements show that a dark-skinned woman wearing a saree will be rejected but a fair skinned woman in western clothes will get selected. Irony being, that woman are still viewed as sex objects, adornments and the grey matter they have is so-incidental!

Do not pity the Indian seeker of lighter skin, or condemn him or her for racism or shake heads over the legacy of colonialism we should consider how outgoing Western cultural dominance and capitalist economic penetration ( via MNC’s) who play on global insecurities in contributing to the global market in skin–lightening products.
A fair girl it seems is the end to Punjabi men’s problems and also the utopian cure to all that plagues Punjab right now. Be it a visa to the phoren lands or a gori kudi !

missing girls in action

14 years back (symbolic of Ramji’s exile), DR. Harshinder Kaur was passing by the outskirts Badshahpur village, one of the progressive village of Doaba; where she heard the wailing of a newborn child. She stopped to look where the carcasses of the dead animals were thrown…. Nothing could have prepared her for the horrors, a newborn baby –girl wrapped in her clothes was being eaten alive by dogs, torn apart. The defenseless baby destined for life was reduced to a mass of blood, and gore. What thoughts prompt people to take such an inhuman senseless act? Dr. Harshinder Kaur, a crusader for woman right’s and an activist in identifying feticide as genocide still recoils with horrors over the incident which remains fresh in her mind till date.
Gurleen Kaur, married into a progressive agricultural family of Malwa was made to abort her fetus 4 times just because they were girls. The fourth time life played a cruel trick on her, the fetus was wrongly diagnosed as a girl, and it was a boy …
We can ask innumerable questions and keep on discussing the why’s, the what and the how about female feticide till we all die but this senseless killing will carry on unabated till we all resolve , educate ourselves by empowering women and raising their status in society.
Female Infanticide is the intentional killing of baby girls due to the preference for male and from the low value associated with the birth of females. It is the worst form of abuse of Human Rights of a girl child. Women are worshipped as Shakti, Durga but speaking in practical terms men find it difficult to respect women. Destruction of a female fetus is a clear violation of human rights of a child. The Pre-Birth Elimination of Females is an immoral and cruel practice which cannot be condemned enough. Girls go missing in a society; they are denied a right to life just because she is a girl. The sad part is that this discrimination starts when the girl is in the womb, the holiest of holy places and then it carries on till the grave (that is if we let her be born). This sounds like a cliché’ but a girls right to live, blossom is nipped cruelly in the bud.
Can you sit back and ignore it? India’s population rose to 1.03 billion from 967 million in 2001 from 1997. What went down (for the first time, and it wasn’t the inflation!)Drastically, declined precipitously- was the natural proportion of females in the0-6 age range.
1961 976girls 1000boys
2001 927girls 1000boys
Latest 896girls 1000boys
And the surprising fact is that there are 60 to 100 million girls missing women due to female infanticide and sex-selective feticide which is leading to the decline in child sex-ratio. In Punjab, a prosperous state or we like to label it, a district Fatehgarh Sahib the ratio has plummeted to 754. This has the authorities worried but not overly as life goes on and we are waiting for a messiah to come and save us. Punjab has the abject distinction of being the first and only state in India where the sex ratio has gone down further.A negative trend of 875 to 793. The shortage of girls surprisingly cannot be attributed conveniently to poverty. Sons of the poorest areas have no issues in raising girls but yes, economic considerations matter. There is no pressure from political ideology or illiteracy or low education but what affects is culture combined with preference of male child. Why is a girl child deprived of her right to live?
Is it because she is born in the Holy, Promised Land of Punjab? Or is it because of religious norms, which have lost their significance and charm in the hands of the immoral interpretations of religious dictums. The time has come to debate upon and to choose between life and religious notion. It is unquestionable to say life is more sacred than any other holy customs and powerful than any established idiotic custom. The practice that a male can perform the last rite, carry on the family name, property are the main reasons of belief that a male child is so desired and wanted by Punjabis. It is ironical that she who gives birth cannot give fire to the dying person. In the absence of any social/ welfare plans boys are considered wrongly to be the sole supporters of ageing parents. The other vice is that dowry / Praya dhan is a deterrent to actually giving birth to girls. The age old tradition which is steeped in our psyche of girls being ‘prayaa’ and to provide a substantial dowry at the time of marriages is considered to be a burden. Dowry was created by women for women as a marker of their status and now life has come to a full circle where girls are being forced to abort fetuses due to family pressures and solely the practice of dowry is responsible for this merciless killing.
The Government of India advocates the two –child policy with a skewed black and white advertisement where a boy and a girl makes a happy family ; you all must remember the Door Darshan commercial from by gone age. The ancient commercial imprints on our mind pressurizing a mother to abort the second fetus if the first one is a girl. In Punjab women who fail to deliver boys are harassed by their in-laws or thrown out on the street. She is also increasingly divorced as she has n’t given birth to the heir who will carry on the family name or lineage never mind, that the precious male child grows up to be a drug addict, alcoholic or beats his old parents to get control of the property.
In homes women are valued more for their reproductive abilities as mothers, as sexual caretakers than as productive citizens in their own right. Son preference sex selection is more in wealthier families. The means to have the perfect family is within their reach and just a mere click, a scan and voila get rid of the baby like a soiled tissue paper, this is according to a leading Gynecologists words in Chandigarh. The sanctity and the sacred entity of a human life are being violated and we all are responsible collectively for this gender genocide. This word which defines this practice Gender Genocide, carried on by medical termination and further when the child is born by crude inhuman methods of lacing their feeds with pesticides, starving them to death, suffocating them with a wet towel or stuffing their mouths with black salt or urea. Sometimes the midwives also force down a few grains of poppy seeds or rice husk in their small throats. Modern technology also goes hand in hand with the terror machines (mid-wives). There is a visible proliferation of ultra-sound clinics in rural areas. The internet might not increase the knowledge or provide any benefit but the small time operators have benefitted by the so –called sex- determination kits which are available in the rural areas. Pay 50 $ or the Indian equivalent and the kit gets delivered to your address. The ultra-sound machines which were meant as a boon to save the mother and child is now the new AK -47 where a lil hint of the pretty girl is shot down; it’s the final nail in the coffin. A large number of abortions are sex-selective, a shocking 94%! Pre- Birth elimination Technique is not just limited to Punjab but is a nationwide phenomenon, not surprisingly the northern states comes on the top. A full 60 million girls are missing in India- effectively exterminated falling into a demographic black hole from which analysts fear –there will be no return. Every year 2 million fetuses are aborted for no reason other than that they are girls. Punjab’s contribution to this pool will increase by 40%.
There are no words to describe this; it is the ultimate manifestation of being cruel. How else can we justify where one is killed for the mere fact of being a girl, a female a woman. We all are together in this as we instead of condoning or condemning just turn a shoulder or make the proper noises of protest but forget it as an unpleasant memory. Loss of females is a silent, dangerous national tragedy. It is potentially de-stabilizing leading to an increase in crime and violence against women crimes. Women, Gaia the primordial Goddess of Earth is under threat. The permanent loss of women who have disappeared or have been killed is irreversible. We as a society have effectively, brutally done away with two consecutive generations. The best part of this extermination which would even give Hitler a shudder is that we don’t have gas chambers but throw them right in frontal public view, be it the dustbin or the ubiquitous wells dotting Punjab’s landscape.
We need legislation which should be effective and not the impotent spineless one which is in place which is circumvented by a few hundred under the table. The deeper problem of gender discrimination needs to be addressed. Sex-selection occurs when modernization moves ahead of sense of equity. Wake up from this slumber, the sloth which has seeped into our conscience and has turned us all into silent but equal guilty partners.
RavneetSangha




The who, what, where which way the society can change has been outlined by a panel of the society who from all walks of life answer this question asked on female feticide when a survey was carried on a social networking site.
Yudhveer Shergill need to open a school for the mother in laws,don't think there are too many men who don't want daughters
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Sukhjeet Sunny Brar I believe this is related to the literacy levels, we need to educate more folks...coz basically female fetecide is a ruthless killing by doing this we are killing infinite more of our very own generation and those to come.
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Surinder Dulai
‎@yudhveer -you got it right..spot on! dasughters bring joy a thousandfold!
@sukhjeet ji- everyone is involved..all levels of litereacy..and yes, who knows what the future holds...the ratio of girls to boys are scary..what a mess!
@Ravneet -s...See more
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Romel Kaur take action on those nursing homes and hospitals which perform gender tests.. cancel their licence to practice..
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Ronnie Kairon all i can say is a girl is the most beautiful thing god created if we carry on with all this by the end of the Era there wont be any men either.
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Navneet Dhillon Root cause is the Social Structure. Its a male dominated society and low literacy level accentuates the complexity of the problem.The mind set has to change. Education is the solution ... Kerala is example !
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Mani Virk I like Yudhveer's comment......a school needed ......to educate elder women first......we cannot blame the male dominance only behind this heinous act, contribution by females is even more shocking...
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Manju Kalkat Dhatt A woman is the worst enemy of another woman ,we all need to change our mind set . Let us vow to fight it out .....
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Tanu Cheema If most men are happy with daughter's , what keeps them from voicing their opinion to their mothers ? After all if their moms are trying to 'protect' their sons from the 'burden' of raising a daughter, shouldn't the sons hold their own to protect their unborn daughters ?
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Sunaina Sood Bawa we all can set an example by looking after ourselves on the body mind and spiritual level ......
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Navneet Dhillon It re iterates my point ... if education is not the answer... the answer is to change the Social Structure... which in turn will be possible with a better outlook ... Education is the means to the end.... not the end itself.

Preet Inder Dhillon This issue needs to be rewritten ,revocalised until d dogmatic and narrow mindset of our people undergoes a change....by ruthlessly killing d female fetus in d consecrated womb itself, we r killing an infinite mre of our generations..."her" death mourns d dilatory demise of humanity....
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Yogeet Brar Ravneet...we are talking of the birth....what about after the birth....many a times its too late in the pregnancy,and the baby is carried full term, the trauma faced by the mother during that time ,,,and also after the birth ,the brunt is felt entirely by the mother and the unwanted child,repeatedly,relentlessly...i mean can you even imagine...living..at times i feel young mothers....foresee this and give in to the procedure...motherhood prevails even in the heinous act...we need to take care of both
rupinder dandiwal: this is a deeprooted issue which cannot be pinned on point , it is male -dominated society and we need to first of all change the mindset to proceed further..
ravneetsangha

Babaji and his entourage of faithful walk into the newly spruced drawing –room with the pre-requisite lilies and orchids in place all flanked with the fragrant tea- candles. The flowers were a marvel with the dew-drops entrapped in their virgin blooms set in long crystal vases the pride of Nandini and the envy of her friends who were all sitting in attendance. The room was decorated keeping in mind the opulence of the family name but balanced in subtle ways to receive Babaji. The very fact that babaji was visiting her home had elevated her social position in town and she had arranged a sattvic tea for everyone. Everything was organically sourced, a point she kept on making again and again and served in ethnic stoneware from Jaipur. The theme was cream and she was resplendent in the latest creation from Wendell Roderick’s new Kunba sari (the long-lost sari revived by the designer as a tribute to the heritage of the small state). The mere presence of a Guru makes us reach for our pockets and we will in-voluntarily empty out them in search for appeasing the inner fear which resides in us all.
How come, it is easy to spend an obscene amount on the surroundings to receive him and then to arrange offerings and then offer monetary sums just to appease the conscious? Why do we feel that giving donations one will guarantee the washing away of our sins? Or is it that this monetary sum equals the ‘ paap’ we want to erase. How easy it would be? To commit a sin and then make these little gestures. Why have we all become so hypocritical? Just because, someone walks in wearing the attire of a saint, does that automatically by default ensure of his purity and sanctity of thought? Why are we all willing to be fooled into paying homage and giving vast sums of money in cash or kind.. Isn’t it another ego trip albeit a more powerful one? The mere seduction of being one up on the next one by giving more and then loudly claiming it ; is this what charity is all about?
A poor man walks all day long to sell his wares but we will insist on haggling with him because that poor man in his tattered dirty clothes is trying to swindle us out of a few Rs. Winning the epic battle by saving a mere few rs out of one’s air conditioned chauffer driven car gives us immense pleasure and to some an orgasmic kick!!
I don’t want to sermonize or sound like a sanctimonious prick but seriously look within, why have all forgotten that these poor people did not choose this status. They are poor out of circumstance and out of choice (apart from the Leftist, I say!!). And, do not say, karam / previous birth’s deeds. They need our compassion, our love and some kind benevolence. Next time around, when we go to the Gurudwara, Mandir, or the place of worship of your choice give some there as offering but spare some change for the poor guy sitting outside. Do not stop your hand from reaching in to your fat wallet to pay them some. We all need to look within, to retrospect and to make the change
Trust me try it, the smile is worth a lot and let that veneer of to become less hardened, little less sophisticated and give into impulse…..materialism melt….

What exactly is Domestic Violence? It is the violence happening within the home towards a family member and can be physical, sexual and emotional in nature. Domestic violence against women is what it is associated with 99.9% of the time. In Punjab the scenario is extremely shocking and economic prosperity isn’t always a sign of social progress. The social fabric of Punjab is minutely interwoven with the threads of class, caste and community. Another factor is that status of women is not defined as there is an absence of a homogenous social cultural and economic structure. There are huge regional differences in this tiny state which may seem large –hearted but is quite small. The obvious diversities in women’s situation in the different regions of the State extend to health, literacy, education and sex-ratio of mortality, employment, incidence of poverty, political participation and so forth. These are all in turn dependent on the existing levels of development, availability of natural resources, policies of the state government and regional socio- economic beliefs.
The recent gender study of 2006 indicates that dowry deaths, torture or cruel treatment of women in northern states including Delhi and some Union territories such as Chandigarh, Daman and Diu, Dadra leads to shorter life span in adult women. The southern states have a longer life, better sex –ratios, for that matter the tribal groups also have a better ratio than the women of Punjab due to the historical prevalence of matrilineal, women’s control over property and resources and their greater participation in decision making.
The success of the Green Revolution had provided an impetus in economic jump to the Punjabis but relegated the Punjabi women into the private domain. They lost their economic independence, and their higher status within their class, because with increased income, and consequent higher social status for the families as whole, women were the first to be withdrawn from the work force as symbols of the newly gains status.
Violence is an integral part of the patriarchal work system and Punjab is one of the most feudal states maybe in stiff competition to Haryana .Previously she had to bear the family or the culture but now the market forces have also ganged up against her ..The use of PNDT Techniques resulting in female feticide. In other words the modernization, urbanization has resulted in increase in violence be it at home, or the workplace or sexual harassment at Workplace, Molestation and Eve Teasing. Another factor is the increase in alcohol and psychotropic drugs which has resulted in increase in menace. Women in Punjab also face the pressure due to patriarchal and feudal values which are prevalent and women are not oriented to come back to their parental house in case of dispute with her husband and in-laws and since either there are very less support systems available they either bear the torture or commit suicide. This was highlighted by Dr. Gurcharan S. Kalkat, Chairman Farmer’s Commission Punjab. In his extensive public life he has come to this conclusion that girls/ women feel alienated and left out due to the pressures of societal mechanisms. In a span of a day and half two women reported under conditions of anonymity of the torture meted out to them by their in-laws and husbands. Gurdev K. Sangha in her present tenure as Punjab State women Commission states that there is violation of liberty, human rights and violence leading to physical blows. Nandini( name changed) , has a leading position in the media was so severely beaten up by her husband that the Dr. in attendance was stunned and warned her that any further blow would leave her a paraplegic. .This senseless violence is not limited to a single class or it’s not demarcated to the lower middle classes, the rich are also prey to it. Women in the higher strata are actually more submissive to this kind of pain which leaves physical scars but has deeper mental ones. The department in a leading private hospital in Chandigarh states that 75% of the depression cases are of abuse which is more often emotional and there is a rising incidence of physical abuse and harassment.
Punjab is also being known as the NRI widow state where the plight of abused married girls who are deserted by their husbands who actually to put it crudely enjoy with them for the stipulated 3-week holiday and then leaves them waiting. This is an alarming situation in the state of Punjab where 42% of the girls get trapped into these so called savior marriages. The commission states that poverty; lure of a foreign country and promises of more money and the ultimate dream of immigration makes these young girls the scape goat.



There is not a single day when we do not hear or read about Domestic Violence against women. Be it for the cruelty of husbands and in-laws for dowry or burning the brides irrespective of culture or background women in India are becoming victims of this crime. The submissive quality in women in India and the general mindset of the society that women are physically and emotionally weaker than the males make them vulnerable to domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a silent termite eating away the foundations of the society leaving the framework with its vestiges of public personas and façade intact but sadly empty, hollow from the inside which would crumble at the first blow.This problem which we can’t conveniently blame anyone or the aliens or the Martians. The onus of this problem lies on us ; it’s the collective us which turn a blind eye .the sheer indifference which is plaguing the society is the root cause of the rise of domestic violence , the abuse goes along unabated as unless it happens to someone close incidents like are skimmed over. Indian women consider their husbands in place of their God. How can we expect Domestic violence to end when women are still reluctant to report abuse to the police and suffer as if it is their duty to their husbands? Another interesting factor the psychiatrists note is that there is an innate sense of shame in reporting this or the first step in even admitting that abuse exists in the relationship.
Vijay a veteran in the department of Women’s commission has horrifying tales to tell which prick the soul and he remarks,’ Women are treated , abused with electric prods, burnt, starved and in some cases which are being brought to light are used as sex-slaves. This degradation of women is in the region which reveres the largest amount of Goddesses in India. The increasing criminalization of society, media images of violence, poor enforcement of legal provision and rising incidents of alcoholism and addiction along with erosion of traditional values have all added to this violence which is silent but at the same time is creating large noise to which we all need to waken up to.
As Gandhiji said, ‘We must be the change we want to see in the world.” It is up to all of us to take collective, positive responsibility to change the status of women and not be passive bystanders. And as , change is messy do not get deterred by it but change with what you have , where you are and let the natural order of things fall in place. No action is small it actually perpetuates a storm.

Ravneet Sangha

ireport 10

For brevity and anonymity sakes let’s call her Mrs. X or Sheela Darling!!

She is one of the nameless, faceless women who lives, breathes in our country all driven by the weight of the advertisements, billboards extolling beauty and the shortest quickest way to be fair and lovely, beautiful with a sylph body, waif- thin like Kareena. I mean where did all the curves go ala Sadhana ji... Don’t we want some meat on the bones? The voluptuousness, curves are a mirage now. Just imagine, what sheela darling has to go through.. She starts with a normal physique( BMI in order)and then suddenly a fad starts where THIN is IN WHICH DROPS TO size ZERO( COURTESY Rujuta Dwidekar n saifeena madness)I mean , we have laptop ‘s who are giving me a complex and even the I-pad says I’m thin , I’m thin.
Suddenly the nukkad wala sabziwala, the Apni Mandi sees an upsurge of lettuce sales or the country cousin cabbage. A note here: the deputy cm and the ex-fm ; we could have started/ heralded an entire agricultural revolution if we had marketed cabbage in proportion to the sexy curves of a Punjabi woman. This unruly mess that Punjab is would never have happened. Forget debt, we would have record revenue. If there is one thing the Punjabi farmer knows is, is his farming and how to boost his production He who toils, would have toiled for this sickly green leaf and the zero calorie food value it has. There are rumors that the latest is a lettuce wrap which drains out excess fluid when the lettuce is wrapped around oneself. Just imagine, the organic, inexpensive way to be thin. Never mind the creepy –crawlies coming out.
She thinks, wonders how to fit herself in the clothes which threaten to shape every bulge, every curve so lovingly nurtured with the extra butter on the paranthas and the yummy dal makhani.Isn’t it strange how gravity starts affecting every move? The jiggle, every turn threatens to spiral one downwards, and how suddenly bras and undies became lacier and more expensive than the clothes wore on ones back. Mrs X laments the fact, how why what, is she going to tone herself with a fine butt. The gym instructor who promises the moon by eating right is actually a devil in disguise that puts her through reps and torture. Her current fantasy shifts from making love to Gerard Butler to strangulating him to a slow painful death on the elliptical.
It sure doesn’t end here one has to constantly be tweezed, waxed, buffed, sanded, massaged as if the Grand prix was on. The entire industry of cosmetics slowly exists on the one myth that if we use this product after a short period of time say 7 days… a fairer , cleaner you is possible who then goes onto become the ultimate sex object. Remember here ladies, please do not step out in the sun, it might darken your skin so join the Twilight brigade (Vampire ...Edward Cullen fame) and have the lustrous, glistening like diamonds skin which will dazzle and cause temporary blindness, something to the affect. (The writer is just trying to say in short people will swoon and faint looking at you)
Oh ,last not the least Sheela has to get her straightened, colored, with a few strategic flicks on her forehead all giving a mysterious air like Mata Hari .She wonders where did the comfortable swirl of her hair which could be conveniently be put up in a bun to stave away the heat. No, now it’s important to have all of them straight in an exotic color with a shine which rival’s the wax jobs given on the cars at the Jaguar showroom. You know, how the brits say spit and polish…
I could go on about the solitaires, the C’s which are the bible of every woman these days and the expensive shades which shield the exotic eyes, all kohled and made up but hidden behind them.
This anonymous woman faces the daily task of breathing openly for the fear of popping her jeans and make things go snap facing the world through her strategically placed hair with her hands buffed and feet into the latest nude peep-toes , while humming the tune in her mind …’You are so beautiful’
Reminiscing about the time when beauty was not skin deep and was not an overt display.

Ps: normal specimens still found at large

The dichotomy of love and disdain living side- by-side is what surprises me. I am tired of the rules, she says.
She comes from a very poor tribal family of Jharkand, the state carved out of Bihar for better ruling and control by the centre. Who are we to draw these lines of invisible borders with in our own country? I mean the babu sitting in the colonial office in north block would not even have the faintest notion of the people he was demarcating. These lost tribes of Jharkand who have been given a form of semblance by the missionaries and are herded in trains to serve us fat cow Punjabis living in our affluent opulent homes in the North. These adivasis are taught to be servile , sucked into the mire of civilization and are cloned into working as maids, domestic helps,ammaji’s who are seen but not heard , effective, efficient giving stiff competition to the robots of Japan! My dear nikki,urf Basanti who travelled from the jungles of Jharkhand to the urban jungle that is Delhi . She wetted her first few years over there working, learning the nuances of cosmopolitan life and was de-flowered from the innocent she was to a shrewd all observing but never voicing woman she is today. By chance, we became her next employers through the agency which is the answer to all women’s problems. A maid guaranteed to work for one with no holidays for a guaranteed eleven months. I mean it was like manna from heaven. Ideally speaking, she was at my beck and call no chutti, no bahana to go anywhere. I was in seventh heaven, someone to listen and cater to all my whims and do all the work...Wow!!The non-stop cleaning started, we kicked in huge dust balls which Im sure never existed but came into the fore mysteriously. She was a stickler for cleanliness, with an Obsessive cleanliness disorder which had gone undiagnosed in the medical history.
This four foot nothing woman , quiet as a mouse who didn’t understand our loud, boisterous Punjabi ways assimilated into the routine as if she was here since time immemorial. I wonder, does she find our ways alien. We who would let her do everything , all the work with the rest of the retinue of staff , but due to some ingrained archaic laws which exist in this Land of Pure and the cradle of the youngest so called forward religion..We would differentiate. I mean, she has her own plates, her own glass to drink the de riguer chai( staple of the work-force) but ever suspicious of her drinking or whisking milk away. She makes our tea, coffee (endless cups) but...Keep an eye out she must be drinking it on the sly..Warned the elders. Do you realize when we talk in our fine, polite society tones it’s an octave lower but when speaking to the servants we raise it three octaves higher, thinking that they have become suddenly deaf!!
I would like to not herald a war of the classes or ask anyone to take up cudgels but please take stock of the helpers working in your homes, slaving away day and night..When was the last time you gave them something new, bought out of free will and not given because you didn’t want it? When did you give her a smile or asked her how she is? Do you know abt her real name? Why did she come so far away to this land to work? My dera basanti now christened Basant kaur has an abusive husband with whom she has not lived for years, two children who need to walk 3 kms to reach their school in a village I cant even pronounce.try giving her what she wants most of all self –respect , self-esteem and if you thin im a loony record how you speak to your helpers and replay your voice..yu’ll know what im talking about…
God made us equal, I don’t think he puts an invisible rubber stamp saying servant , master…and even if by fate we do become like this; please show compassion.

Parenting is such a complicated job, there are no set rules, guidelines or one can’t go the store to buy a book which in a concise manner will lay down the steps to guide your child through his/ herlife.One has to learn, stumble, pick oneself and walk this journey which is called life which has so many curveballs which leave you dizzy but has its rewards also. Today’s youth are part of a generation which is more focused on their rights, their privileges which are due to them rather than their responsibilities and their obligations. Some parents want to blame the media for this trend, it is so easy to pass the buck and let someone else be the fall guy. However the media is not responsible for educating kids or instilling values in them and teachers are there to educate them focusing on the academic content with a certain purview of values.
So, the question is who is responsible for gen-x‘s mindset? Quite frankly the onus is on the parents. You, me, we all are responsible... Nobody can place moral ethical values on them or discipline our children apart from the parents. Unfortunately, too many parents are trying to be their kid’s best friend and are shirking from the inherent parental duty- namely to mold the child to be a responsible adult of tomorrow. For today’s youth to excel tomorrow, parents need to raise the bar and expect the best from their kids each and every day. Raising the bar is not figurative here! It means to build a relationship where a child will be brought up in a relationship where he is taught to emphasize responsibility and moral behavior. Such an endeavor begins its journey from the first and fundamental rung called trust. It is not easy to create trust, to give trust and especially in young people it is a difficult task. . However, the greater the trust you build with your kids the greater the sense of responsibility in them.
We give them freedom an d when they somewhat violate the lines which are constructed by us as barriers or the fine lines of societal norms we take the freedom back. This is damaging and parents should realize that by giving them freedom we need to make them responsible to shoulder this new fangled freedom given to them. It is important to set expectations early. Young people actually crave expectations, rules and responsibilities. They want the adults in their life to tell them , in clear dialog what they are supposed to strive for.
What are your personal expectations for your children? Do your kids know what you expect of them? Do they understand those expectations? Most parents have never voiced their desires, and if they have they are not clear, thus kids are never clear about them. Even more damaging the psyche is that from the past two generations our country has evolved into a society where we give them more freedom, leeway because we as parents do not want to upset them. We are all so caught up in the mirage of being hip, cool, with the times and this jargon falls flat on our face. W e need to move from this mindset where we can fine tune our kids to understand our expectations and teach them how to live in a societal framework. Doing so will actually make the kids feel better, also will lessen the stress, as they wouldn’t have to belabor so many decisions. They will have clear cut decisions for what is right what is wrong and then they act intuitively. Please be a mom or a dad and not the cool dude!!
It is also important to understand and more important to accept your child’s uniqueness. Remember we didn’t place an order and get our kids from a wholesale manufacturing unit. Every child is blessed with his or her own characteristics. The mistake often we make is when we try to relive our youth through our kids. As a result, parents often send messages to their kids that say, ‘You’re not good enough as you are: you should be like this instead.” If kids feel that you won’t accept them as they are with their limitations then they turn towards other sources of acceptances and they won’t seek your guidance or help for anything. It is important to listen, to listen quietly with open ears and a closed mouth however much you must be seething to say something. Listen to the child. Change yourself, to adapt to them, take a good look in the mirror and see how you can be a better parent. Be the adult that you are an don’t let it be a clash of wills, the child wants love, acceptance and even if he is being difficult look beyond that. All kids look to their parents for guidance so remember lead the life you want your kids to copy…
Every adult needs to live, create a model which can be emulated by the kids of tomorrow. They need to be influenced and guided by us so we can shape them to be tomorrow’s responsible leaders. Children are given to us like a lump of clay be like the potter which gently nudges this lump into beautiful pottery sometimes by nudging it and sometimes by slicing the extra bit of clay by a firm stick; gentle but with a bit of authority. Do not shake in your resolve but be firm and gentle….

male attyachar

MALE ATTYACHAAR: THE NEW EMOTIONAL ANGLE

In the last four years alone, over 1,23,497 women have been arrested under IPC Section 498A alone, without any evidence ,or investigation ; not for committing any crime under law, but only because they were related to a man. Madhu Kishwar, noted woman rights activist has admitted that this section of the law is highly misused, and that a large number who come to them i.e. Manushi are mother-in-laws and husbands who have been falsely implicated in cases of marital cruelty and dowry harassment. Feminist and renowned IPS officer Kiran Bedi acknowledges that many poor and illiterate Mother-in-laws and sister-in laws are falsely charged and these poor women are languishing in jails. It is a sad day in our history when the educated masses of our society are misusing these Laws for their own benefit and “Dowry Law “is no exception. It is one of the strongest Laws and anyone who is booked under this law has no choice but to spend time in jail.

It doesn’t sound plausible but yes, the Indian male can be at the receiving end too. There is an increasing feeling of dismay over the abuse which is meted out by woman who misuses this empowerment to their benefit. Increasing independence, freedom empowerment of women is all for the progress of the nation but where it is used on the flip side to settle scores or to just take an easy way out is wrong. This loophole is present and has been glaringly pointed out by the Honorable Supreme Court. It terms the Misuse of Section 498A As “Unleashing of a New Legal Terrorism on Innocent Husband’s family and Domestic Violence Act as ‘one of the most clumsily drafted law “.

Ms. Lisa Brar, leading standing council for U.T. remarks that there is a rampant misuse of the law; it is in fact used as a levering tool for negotiations. We need to bring safeguards to ensure the honest execution of this law .There is an increase in the associations all over the country which are being started to safeguard the rights of men. Recently, an association was started by ‘Peedth Mother-in-laws” to escape the wrath of their daughter-in-laws in Chandigarh and they had an overwhelming response on the first day! On the crossroads of Delhi there are little signboards which flash a number; advertising the fact that help will be given to males only who want to escape the wrath of these scorned women. This campaign is started by a supreme court lawyer , R P Chugh, a Supreme Court advocate who started a men's advocacy group Crime Against Man Cell aka Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Husbands way back in the 80s to take head on cases of 'false charges of dowry harassment and torture'.

This emotional attyachar is the new angle which is hitting the Indian society leading to an increase in divorce, marital problems affecting the next generation. When the MLA from Bholath, MR Sukhpal Khaira was asked this, he said, yes this law is being misused by the women in cities; rural girls of Punjab who are the main sufferers are ignorant of this law. He was all for the correct and truthful interpretation of the law.

It is essential that safeguards should be there where the law should not be used as leverage or as a bargaining chip. It is seen that a large number of girls which file cases under Punjab State Women Commission use this as a pretext to settle scores and to falsely implicate their in-laws.MRs Gurdev Kaur Sangha, Chairperson said that she sees an increase in the cases filed by woman who are misled by their lawyers to threaten, harass the in-laws in coercing them to payer higher divorce settlements and alimony.



Steps are being taken to safeguard the dignity of men who till now were the stronger sex but have been reduced to mere weaklings in this war of the sexes where law supports the weaker one. This loosely defined law has its loopholes and steps should be taken to ensure proper implementation.

Ravneet Sangha

Jalandhar

I am an X- chromosome

I am an X- chromosome swimming upstream trying to edge out other X’s, (my girlie pals) to mate with the elusive godly Y. It’s a mystery, a mad-house of the jumble, the rat-race, the competitiveness and the frenzy to mate. We all try to outdo each other in this marathon but there is this sense of unease, a lingering feeling of something bad. Call it the feminine intuition, we have. This intuition serves me well and heeding to it, I stop in the upstream swim where time is of essence. Faint whispers, rumblings why I should not mate and realize my physical form seep to my consciousness and I go back to a conversation I had heard when I was still a part of the genes….She in her loud cackling voice was warning ,’Be careful ! Don’t give birth to a baby girl, when you conceive” “Dhyaan Rakhi...The first child should always be a boy, and then there is no tension, koi fikar nahi. Mrs .Sandhu warned her new NRI daughter in law. Giving birth to a baby girl was taboo and automatically ensured one of a life full of hassles from the minute she was born to the minute she married till she died.

Strange are the customs of progressive Punjab, when a girl is born, we do not rejoice, we lament over the birth. The minute the nurse comes out and announces that congratulations a baby girl is born, the smiles vanish and half-heartedly condolences are given masked under the fact that Lakshmi has come. So why is this deity falling short of our expectations? Or are we content to worship an idol but bur n the living, physical form as it does not bring us the God of Mammon? Parents, In-laws all have false smiles and the poor mother after her laborious child-birth wondered where she went wrong.Oh, this all happens only if we escape the monstrous Sex- Determination test. Punjab is dotted with countless fly- by the night clinics, quacks and midwives who for a paltry sum will tell whether the fetus is male or female. Even the savior of mankind the internet advertises these kits who for 50$ will help you at home. Is science a boon or a curse, I wonder? Then if I’m lucky to pass the first hurdle in this race called LIFE I’m given birth to. A real incident was narrated in hush tones hereby the spirits of a beautiful girl who was aborted and thrown to die where the carcasses of dead animals is thrown outside a village. A clearing house, if you please, but the little innocent baby was alive and the shrieking cries were heard by Dr. Harshindar Kaur who was passing by; she saw the most horrific sight where the baby was being eaten by rabid dogs.

And they, tell us to be born.

I still think whether it’s worth the struggle to be born, to be differentiated from the very moment one breaths. On my birth, from the mithai distributed to the announcements made everything is different. Money comes into play. No laddoos please, limited circle of people to distribute them and no fancy-shmancy lohri.Even when I’m growing up there is compromise on every step, clothes, food and always there is this realization of coming second. It is drilled into ‘her ‘that’ she is inferior and she is the weaker sex. I wonder who coined this term. What are we evaluating her? Physical strength or mental…. Or is it necessary to have muscles aka...To be stronger?

We are deprived of love, the circle of love which is what makes the world tick. Love is doled out in accordance with standings in the house; how many men in the house, and where the girl child comes in the sibling’s hierarchy…

I am growing up; trudging along school always on the guard against child molesters, pedophiles’, and the uncle ji’s who make us squirm by the so- improper touches and when we reach puberty hormones grow crazy. Even if we want platonic relationships they are misunderstood and long dying declarations are given professing love and if we scorn these we are burnt, slashed by a knife and the famous one acid is thrown by our lovers/Ranjhas of modern age Punjab.

Did I mention here, if I fall in love and heaven forbid if he is from another caste, we are lynched, shot killed burnt alive? Mr. Nilekani, a suggestion here please when you give us all a Unique Identity Number could you please tattoo the castes on the boy’s heads (North Indians) as love doesn’t seem to distinguish . I wonder if the, same caste blood is the same or different: one is a shade darker, thicker or thinner. The khap panchayats have a nose for this.

When I pass this hurdle if I marry when all the requisites of age, height, color of skin (has anyone ever heard of wheatish complexion??), dowry are met. Then the biggest litmus test comes, will I ever give birth to a male? I wonder why we forget the basic science lesson that it is the man’s doing and it’s him and him alone responsible for a baby boy/ baby girl. Countless times girls are aborted; mothers are killed, burnt or discarded for a fresher newer model to ensure the lineage. Why do we forget that woman, the creator who nourishes, provider the one who is the fulcrum of all life ; if she is decimated how will the species continue? Where do you think the extra woman are going to come, if all are killed; like the trend here? Common sense is uncommon in Punjab, Haryana where being a male, reproducing one makes one attain salvation…Over the years increasingly, a woman has to face sexual exploitation, molestation, rape, is subjected to heinous crimes, prostitution and is sold off bartered away.

All this doesn’t stop when one is older , older woman increasingly are preyed upon for their property, bludgeoned to death by servants, denied medical help by family as she is a burden on their finances and in many cases is left in one corner to die.

An interesting tradition comes into play in North India , where when a woman dies her shroud i.e. the clothes which she wears for her final journey are also given by her parents, absolving the in-laws of even the mere expense of her clothes. When did she stop being a burden, may I ask?



I am dejected, shattered, lie defeated in this circle of life which I beget and die for.



Every 26 minutes a woman was molested. Every 34 minutes a woman was raped. Every 42 minutes a woman was sexually harassed. Every 43 minutes a woman was kidnapped and every 93 minutes a woman was killed. Husbands murdered fourteen wives every day. Mind it, these are just the cases that were reported and recorded by the police.

Ravneet Sangha

ravneetsangha@hotmail.com

incest and its ugly head...

The purest of all relationships is between a father and a daughter but a shocking case comes into light from distt Sangrur where a father repeatedly raped his daughter over a period of 7yrs threatening her with dire consequences. Dara Singh resident of Wardno.6, Bhawanigarh raped, abused his daughter Karamjit Kaur and later sold her off to one Gulzar singh in convivance with Reshma, who is his paramour.
She was made to go along with this debauchery under threats from her father that her mother (mentally unsound) and younger brother would be killed.Karamjit Kaur has been raped, beaten , mentally tortured since the age of 11 years when she should have been playing and living a normal life. Forced to bear a child at an early age, and continually raped by Gulzar Singh and her father till a month ago. Her case has been registered under the Punjab State woman Commission, Chairperson Mrs. Gurdev Kaur Sangha. The accused Dara Singh is presently in jail, due to the efforts of the SSP Sangrur .Mrs. Sangha, has directed that the accused parties be summoned to the Chandigarh office within this week for a detailed account as a murder attempt has been made on Karamjit by Gulzar Singh. He tried to strangulate her; if she did not retract her statement.Gulzar Singh is absconding, and all efforts are being made to book him.

freedom at what cost

/Freedom (noun)-the state of being free or at a liberty rather than in the confinement or under physical restraint. At random, my iphone spews out 17 different meanings and states the origin of the word 900ME. Freedom entails both a negative and a positive relationship. Negative freedom means being ‘free from’ and positive freedom means ‘being free to’. Independence or license to do as one want is being promoted in a large way allover so that woman is brought to par with men.
This popular myth that freedom is what we need to give the woman is being busted in the lower strata of our society. It is disturbing to know that increase in economic independence is going hand – to hand with degradation of morals and complete breakdown of the structure. The scenario in rural Punjab is disturbing, sad and dismal. Girls as young as 10 or 11 yrs start working in the fields, or in cold –stores dotting the landscape or even as domestic help.
They are influenced by the media, swayed by glamour, pseudo-westernization and a desire to be rich overnight. The shackles of poverty are shed overnight by the daily wage –earners. Take a minute, to reflect on their lives, shunned from birth just because she is of the weaker sex, uneducated and forever hungry for love and yes, food (the basic need of all).She is scorned from the moment she is born and when she comes to puberty there is a sense of realization of the weapon she has ‘her feminity ’. These girls suddenly discover a weapon a ‘PASSPORT’ out of the hell-hole of poverty by bartering their innocence freely for money. These girls have no real sense of attachment or familial bonds, says Bibi Harmohinder Kaur, a social worker. She says that lack of emotional attachment or any kind of obligation frees them from any shame faced over this rampant prostitution which delivers them from poverty.
Villages in and around Jalandhar have been witness to an explosion of western influence due to NRI’S, competitive higher wages, affluence. Every person worth his/ her salt has a mobile phone (even if they do not know where the next meal is coming from). This increase in mobility is an aid to a downward spiral resulting in an increase of extra-marital affairs, setting up of rendezvous at sordid dingy places dotting the landscape. Lack of education, brashness and a burning desire to escape makes them fall prey to easy money. There exists a nexus in the villages where pimps scout these girls luring them with dreams of easy money and promises of bigger earnings. Overnight, easy money is such bait that they get sucked into this vortex not caring about the implications. Medical emergencies, pregnancies are terminated by OTC pills (thanks to rampant advertising) and also by the mid-wives for as low as Rs .100.Promiscousity, brazenness and the candor shown by these girls surprises and amazes one. This laxity in morals, spontaneity, and forwardness is present in them and can be pin-pointed to a psychological aspect as pointed by Dr Harshinder Kaur . She says, and I quote ‘Rebellion is at its peak, due to centuries of oppression and they are nonconforming to the hilt by hitting out via their feminity.This change in candor, style of dressing is done to hit back at the suppression faced by them in the one way possible by falling morals. They do not hold it a great value and when sex can be bartered to realize their dreams why worry? It is a tool traded, used for means. At the grass-root levels of Punjab this is what is happening where the pure get impure in the Land of the Five Rivers. It is estimated that these easy morals are leading to an increase of sexual transmitted diseases and Aids by a whopping 34 % every year in Punjab and this is not even counting the statistics from truck-drivers which infect the population.
It is important that one should realize liberty, freedom is in our mind. We need to reach out to these young girls by education and giving them alternative avenues of sustainable income. A change in their self-esteem is required by holding lectures, meets by prominent social workers who can educate them over the follies of debauchery, degradation. The gen-x of tomorrow does not care two hoots over this moral degradation, debasement or cheapening themselves. It is a point to ponder on why this moral corruption carries on unabated; or is it as it satisfies our baser desires we turn a blind eye……
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it .George Bernard Shaw
Responsibility is the price of freedom. Elbert Hubbard.
Let’s constantly endeavor to stop this rot.

ireport9

The stillness in stillness is not the real stillness. Only when there is stillness in movement can the spiritual rhythms appear which pervades heaven and earth.
Ts’ai-Ken-T’an
Sometimes my place is like an airport (Amritsar lounge) or sometimes likened to the bus-stand with people of all walks coming and going. It seems there is never a moment to oneself, one is multi-tasking, constantly in motion be it with the phone (attached to my ear as my mom in law says ! causing me to walk in a funny way ) or just doing things like reading , listening to music (forever playing ) and yes, shouting to my servies. But I have made it that way on purpose because surrender does not mean saying,’ I open the doors from three to five only, and if you don’t make it, that’s too bad.’ You have to surrender to the Divine twenty four hours a day. You cannot do it part-time.
How do you do a spiritual practice if you keep all your doors open and somebody walks right in? Well, you have to learn to incorporate that person, that conversation into the practice of surrender, even if you had intended to do something entirely different. And don’t get irritable, don’t get impatient-particularly if the interruption isn’t all that important and the work involved in is important.
This practice teaches you to surrender, to be quick in adjusting your concentration, to be able to go back to where you were quickly, and it deepens your acceptance of what is.
When that is established, then you can say, ‘Okay, between seven to nine-that’s my time.’ But still be willing to surrender to circumstances and adjust your time. If you don’t impatience comes in the door. You will begin thinking, ‘Oh, I can never finish anything. There all these disturbances. There are all these interruptions.’ That impatience reflects later on in your daily life. Reflect upon this for a minute you’ll see this attitude in every sphere; be it with kids, wife, husband etc…
There are always people around us and they mean problems and who wants problems? However, victory comes only when we allow it happen.
I think this is true for all aspects of one’s life be it spirituality or be it just normal hum -drum.
Remember To live in an enchanted world; we have to assume the role of magician in our everyday lives. Thomas Moore

ireport7

She sat there with her eyes moist and yet, dry bereft of any tears not even wondering what had brought this one. Broken in spirit, shattered and bruised in the vilest way. All the bruises which were visible at least had accountability. One could wait for the passage of time to heal them from the eggplant purple to the dirty yellow fading into nothingness. But what about the scars which were engrained into her, they were getting deeper, bleeding and rotting the core of her leaving a fetid stench …..Which engulfed at all times.
She thought about her existence, given birth by loving parents who pampered her, loved her at every step and held her hand at every turn guiding, nudging her to the highest levels of education. And, when the infernal rishta (that’s how she saw it) she was married tethered to a man who was all prevailing. It seems time stands still and whatever advancement is like a smokescreen, promising the sky but leaving one with a lot of grey smoke on the face. He was all what one wanted in an ideal partner (do these utopian fantasies exist?).A whirlwind marriage with all the trappings was played to the hilt and she settled into her marriage with the excitement and coyness of a blushing bride.
All was well, till alcohol surfaced and reared it‘s ugly head. She tried, appeased him but nothing... The beatings started as a vent of his frustrations, because of his inner demons which tormented both of them. Turning to her parents, and having long discussions and promises of him turning into a new leaf led her down the merry path that all would be great. No one gets divorced in our families; just learn to live with it, give him another chance. These placations carried on with the beatings and the last one was which broke the camel’s back.


This is a true rendition of a case which came to the chairman pswc…I don’t want to give any reasons, explanations’ or arguments about what drive women to this utter desolateness and sheer helplessness. This scene is played out in countless households; tell me when we will stop it and let the stench fade away to sweet smell…
The woman in question had everything going for and has been killed by her so –called in laws and her parents and society by repeated attacks on her body with electrical shocks, while her soul frittered away the first time..
By the way, what do you think is an adequate financial compensation? What a laugh …

ireport6

My holiday sojourn is over after picking up the pieces of my life after a mumble-jumble hectic activity filled days w/ my boys and a magical trip to Hk. Well back to ground reality (unlike Ground Zero)and life which is orderly, disciplined minus the late night binges of chocolates, malteasers and trying to appease the calories by eating dark chocolate which is no match for sinful good ol’ basic chocolates.., and yes, must share with you all a new recipe courtesy Gobind, popcorns dipped in pizza pasta sauce. Enough of me and my bacchas …. Throughout the month I have been reading reports, notes, blogs, comments bemoaning Punjab, its infrastructure, the sheer moral break down of its cultural values and yes the lack of basic facilities in every sphere and the constant comparison with our elitist countries where we all have had the fortune to visit.

I agree to all our complaints, woes and all your arguments regarding our politicians, the problems which plague us year after year, with consistency of the lack of monsoons and our sheer dependence on them.
I wonder what gave us all the right to just crib. It’s in fashion to put your state down (started in all elitist drawing- rooms talked over a glass of the finest grey goose or is it wines, these days??)I t seems it is increasingly intellectual to put one’s own identity down.
Take stock , for a minute this is the state which gives us our identity, our existence, we are first class citizens here and not second class ones who even if they try to emulate the “white skin” would still always have a teeny-weeny brown somewhere. Whitening creams do a roaring business but trust me we have our own appeal this wheatish complexion is unique and is our USP (agriculturally speaking, too!!)Finding faults is like fashion and we all have our two bits of money on it, but I wish we would all do something about it collectively. It’s this WE which makes the society the state and so on... Do not at this pt. if you are reading nod your head and say this woman has lost it, and just because she has a cushioned life she is preaching, we all can give back to the society, or at least try aka Pargat singh.. Imagine if he didn’t even try for the elections for IHF president!! Suppose he took this stand that, I can’t fight because of the politics involved, where would we be? Resigning to fate is the worst crime, according to me.
Why don’t we take pride in being a Punajbi? We ape the west, we dress the way they do, and we follow whatever is trending in the streets of New York, Milan or London. The craze/ obsession for designer bags, glasses the newest pair of Tod’s or the Birkin is driving /fuelling their economy and not ours. When was the last time you decided to own something Indian except for the solitaires??
Any expat- Punjabi realises his value only and only when he can come back to his pind and builds a monstrosity of a house which is empty year after year and opened only during fleeting visits but which are tantamount , to his wealth there.
Independence Day is around the corner, there is this upcoming event in Chandigarh called “August Kranti”. It is my wish that this kranti takes place first in our minds about our identity, our ethos which is fast disappearing, when our mind is not held high how we can teach our children, escapism to the west is not the solution.
Punjab, has so much to offer. Be patriotic , if we are not going to be proud of it the next gen
is definitely going to walk out...Try changing yourself and your attitude and see the difference. Where else would be get the flavors? Do you think thi smitti can be replicated in a clinical germ-free atmosphere? Try the golgappas via a commercial chain or the nukkad rehri wala and you'll know what I'm talkin about
so, ppl stop condemning start appreciating

for better or for worse

For better or for worse
The woman with one ear
Saroj, a diminutive woman, frail with vacant haunting eyes always looked at me as if, pleading me to save her from these invisible and some not so invisible bonds of matrimony which bound her till death do us apart for better or for worse. It seemed as if, this had been coined for specially, I learnt later.
What stood out on her was her wiry hair which somehow managed to escape the tightly bound dupatta covering her head. It seemed omnipresent, always there as if waving a red flag to me…we took her in one late evening when she came outside the farm gates crying for help, asking to be saved from her alcoholic , abusive husband, Sikander.
We gave her shelter that night and she started working, assimilated into the domestic work-force. It seemed she would never stop working, rising early and working late so no one could find fault with her and send her back into the village. I would see her sweeping the floors, picking up a stray leaf from the gardens (which had the temerity to fall under her watch!!) and always dusting with her trademark dupatta .This continued with her content to get her 3 square meals and some hand me down clothes from me. One day, in the middle of the afternoon post lunch someone was frantically ringing the bell, when I went out to check, there she stood with hair all astray wild swirling like a dervish. She looked different and it struck me her dupatta was missing. Saroj cried, “He’s got her, he took her away from the gates”. Please get her back; I want my daughter. I made her sit down and was just patting her when I realized she had a gaping hole on one side with the ear cut up and sewn on one side. A crisscross of stitches in the middle of the skull stared at me telling me a story of their own.
I was shocked and stunned at the violence meted out and the scars on her. When I asked her, she just answered nonchalantly,” Oh! These, he hit me with an axe one day when he came home drunk and I refused him sex.” “I had to pay for my refusal, as it’s his right and he can do what he pleases.” Forget this, get my daughter back she said , wiping her tears .Indian women , gritty, have a genetic default , an inbuilt transmitter where they can bear all pain, abuse in the basest form all in the name of marriage, vivaah. What are these bonds, these ties where one woman can be debased, beaten by an alcoholic husband and she bears it all in the name of those rounds she takes around the ceremonial fire. The moral fiber is weakened where a woman is hacked grotesquely just because she refuses, but the irony is that she still stays with her…
Saroj got her daughter back but I wonder the woman with one ear would/could sever her ties as easily as her ear was hacked. These shackles which tie an Indian bride’s soul need liberation.
Van Gogh cut his ear in a fit of madness and was heralded as an unparallel genius; I wonder when madness will strike the Indian women!

ireport3

I woke up and discovered the deadly invasion of the grey haired league. Overnight, I had a shock of grey hair not reminiscent of the late Indira Gandhi but close.
It worried me momentarily, my vanity, my visual self but then I delved into the deeper meaning of this. And yes there was the answer (for the first time not spiritual!!!) Forgive me, God for I have sinned.
It so happened that the CM and his competent Finance Minister along with other imp. Ministers had gone to Delhi to meet the Planning Commissioner Montek Ahluwalia in regards to the plan outlay. Well. They came back victorious with the spoils and increase in the total outlay to 9150cr. No, mean feat. My main concern is that there should be development rather than full –scale colored photographs in all newspapers. We need less inaugurations and more actual work done. It seems we spend more time covering news or tracking our ministers starting projects which will culminate in the next few years (please note the vagueness…) on the so important glistening granite stones. I wish the same attention was given to detail in execution of projects. Shoddy, haphazard work is done, the line of actual responsibility gets lost in hierarchy of minions.
Instead of lamenting what the centre has done, the injustice meted out, the step-motherly treatment from which Punjab suffers, shouldn’t we rise to the challenge to take up matters in our hands and do something constructive. At least in this manner I wouldn’t go completely grey! Another important thing which I think they need to allocate is for the greening of Punjab before the slogan ‘hara –bhara’ Punjab turns into barren Punjab in all sense of the word. Pun intended.
My grey hair given by my children, the environment is a cause of worry for my maid who thinks the 2rs packet from Godrej would cure me of this, but I wonder if I should follow the path laid by the politicians and do a cover up???

ireport2

Ireport2
This one is for all the special women…who make this world possible for others, daughters, sisters, mothers and yes, girlfriends too! I have discovered the secret of keeping our clothes white ones specially the white ones pristine white. (And, I am getting myself nominated for the Maa award of the year through this nukkad wala who know‘s this guy who is a peon on the nominating committee for the Indira Gandhi Special Awards under special category). The bribe being that we plan to farm his land so that he is assured of his thekha(we at Sangha Farms are known allover Punjab for prompt payment and we are not land grabbers). Before, I launch on a self-promotion of my family, let me desist right now.
Actually this lightening struck when I kept on seeing day after day our politician’s .The white pristine bleached starched ironed to perfection with crackling creases complete with the Gucci loafers or the trendy Nike’s( the new David Bower man’s , if you please). The success to this Rin like safedi is being oblivious to people’s plight. Why should we bother about how the lesser mortals live? Ki farak painda hian…votes are bought, deals made in a/c rooms with bartering done and areas demarcated. People are divided according to caste; emotions are roused up to play hate politics. Religion is used to rouse up animal instincts and the common man gets slaughtered in this divisive politics. Mind you, all this time there is not a single blot on the kurta...it remains white and heaven forbid, if it would crumple or wilt under accusation. The textile companies secretly in cahoots with the politicians of India have developed this new material which is available to the elitist politician and is only available if you get elected to the select club (oath administered on the same lines as the freemason’s society).
Accordingly, if you develop a T- Rex Type hide where everything bounces off, poverty, social unrest, and environment, corruption, where man is easily dispensable and value is decided in accordance with the votes that garner. I feel the brilliant white gets intensified with each passing day as if by wearing and dazzling the common man one can try to blot or at least diffuse the long list of problems /woes the common man face. Glaring injustice delays in execution and face-saving justice is meted out under the system which is a mockery. The single most dastardly act of Union Carbide people get 2 yrs and then getting bail and simultaneously showing Anderson having 1.2 million $ home ; but having no money to pay as compensation suggests what? Where do our politicians stand? Does it mean that wearing white automatically suggests purity, truthfulness or has the system made us all color-blind? Be crumpled, rumpled wear color but at least be true.

An afterthought: A committee is being set-up to find the textile companies involved in the production of so-called white cloth. So that at least the washing, starching of white clothes is reduced to save water. Products like Rin, Tinopal will be affected but …. What to do. I would appreciate general public to come forward to apply for this committee. ..aloos and coffee on me!

i report !!

I’ve been thinking of starting a little blog well I have one and the best part of is it that there is complete freedom expression and I don’t need to answer to anyone. Read it, critique it and more important laugh and then ponder over it….
It’s called ireport... I’m hoping this doesn’t ever come under the Apple scanner and i get sued my pants off in my case it’s my demure salwar..This is just a reflection of the times from my eyes; call it cynicism, jaded or maybe one of the times just plain ol’ innocence and before I forget my jat pigheadedness.
What brought this one on was the passing of World Environment Day and the day before that the sad demise of Dilnaaz Kaur. We all viewed it on Ptc, made the proper noises of regret and then lambasted the poor mother; that she didn’t take care of her. I mean, get real folks which mother would willingly throw her daughter down a bore-well? Do we in our air-conditioned rooms with backup generators ever realize how the poor commoner ever lives? They still play in the open and wander over to every nook and corner not worried about the temperature and the beating sun. The retort to this one would be she should have been careful or taken care, yes but accidents happen but when the media makes a mockery of emotions and also tried to hike its TRP ‘s by sensationalizing the news , that’s when we lose ourselves. Politicians flock and try to give their condolences and compensation is given but how does one value a 2and half yr old? Is it calculated according to the years she lived or scared over the disparity which was shown over the train accident/air crash victims?? That by the way, was last week’s news….and we had voting over it. It’s a sad reflection of our times when we start valuing people in lieu of votes.
The second one which made me think was world environment day; it visited Punjab government’s calendars earmarked by the special date. The proper noises were made, conservation was lauded and loads of programs were launched where we are going to save the water, have specialcancer trains, have more Ro systems , and also have more vigilant teams to monitor sowing of paddy. Ironically we have a news item where paddy is being sown before the due date in Khidhikiyan wala because the landlord is close to the ruling party!! And, mind you water conservation projects have all been initiated there. I wonder why rest of Punjab is in slumber, must be due to the heat or the euphoria that ki farak painda hian!! No thought has been given to forest conservation. I wish we would learn from Tamil Nadu where they have risen from .3% to a close 50% and that also when a spiritual leader called Sathguru initiated planting trees and Project Green Hands. The reason being…how is one going to meditate if there is no tree to sit under?!!!!!
I genuinely laughed over that one. And as he says it’s a collective effort, involve everyone emotionally ( that’s our weakness) emotional aatyachar always works, I say.

zero accountability

Zero accountability is the word I've been looking for and guess where I found it; in all the places...a movie called Iron-Man which I watched just because it stars one of my favorite actors Robert Downey Jr. aka Sherlock Holmes. And by chance, it figures as the word that aptly describes US these days.
You're all going to shake your heads and say there she goes again. And, the best one is who is she to question us or preach? She doesn't practice what she preaches.
Actually, yes I'm as guilty as all of you. We've collectively, the hope of India, the shining India (coined by the BJP which miserably backfired) have just calmly taken a back seat because we are all so cushioned and cocooned in our little worlds where the sun rises and sets according to our whims and fancies. We complain the most about rising temperatures, power cuts, fall in the water table, NREGA and its impact, rising costs, inflation, corruption (the deadliest of all) and the one which hurts me the most lack of national pride. Why is that we all would love to escape to countries which a) our not our own , b)would always treat us as second-class citizens and lastly ,where we would work our butts off but still come back to India to show our monetary wealth off??Who better than the Punjabis who flaunt their wealth with bigger houses and flashier cars?
This increasing dis -enchantenment , lack of pride in being Indian and finding fault in everything from the sewerage to the road conditions ( deplorable the Page 3 babes will say,’ the M1 in England is so smooth , just like a baby’s bottom.. I wonder when the last time she actually touched a baby’s bottom: the maids are meant to do that!!) And yes, the favorite line there is so much mitti here …
I mean get real folks.
We all have our grouses; we all can write paeans and have long-winding discussions about what is wrong in this system and our country. But have we ever held ourselves accountable for any of this? We all coolly pass the buck to the politicians who we choose, vote for, and give funds so as to cushion our lives for the next 5 yrs. It’s amazing how we nonchalantly pass the buck to our leaders and distance ourselves. Is it because we are cushioned by wealth, status or we are connected to someone who knows someone who can help when a problem arises. This increasing rot I feel is passing to our children (I think we all have the national avg. of 2.1 kids here!!) Around me kids or teenagers would rather leave the country to study abroad or just shift pass ‘n parcel as that somehow, automatically guarantees success. Why has this transition come about? How did we fail as a generation? Are we confused? And more still, why can’t we choose plain old vanilla over the chocolate?
All our failures can be traced back to ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY.
Just pause, ponder and think if you can come up with solutions and please don’t say ‘Kucchh nahin ho sakta”. I’m not into quotes but here I think if we borrow from someone who borrowed from India……Yes, We can! (Obama).

requiem of a salwar suit

This is a one-off ppl…
The newest kid on the block... the singing sensation who has literally and lyrically taken Punjab by storm (sorry about the cliché considering the present monsoon situation) Satinder Sartaaj has been roped in to compose and deliver a soulful rendition of the death of the ubiquitous salwar suit! It was decided by the Punjab Cultural / Vultural Ministry at a high level meeting at theTaj hotel attended by all in the latest golf shorts from Lacoste’ and T-shirts keeping in mind the summer pastel palette!
I wonder where has the ubiquitous salwar suit gone, why has the salwar suit been pushed in the backs of our cupboards taken out and dusted out only for formal occasions? The 5 mts. of cloth transferred into an upper and bottom along with a matching stole (this is a coy description by the upbeat stores ... where we all frequent!!) has taken a beating or better still been KO’ed by the western attire … Why is that the advent of globalization and westernization which was done so as this closed economy would radically transform itself to keep pace with the developed countries has in fact left us as a nation which is unable to be proud of its attire, into a nation, a state where it is looked down if you are not wearing the latest 7, Diesel jeans or the comfortable Juicy Couture track –pants matching with the whitest of whitest shirts , linen if you please with a thread count of 250….
Complexes, desire to blend in, not to be called a Bhenji (NO offense to the Mother of all... Mayawati ji) has given the society a new model...the 9 to 5 woman in western casuals. Why do we not take into account the fact that our dear voluptuous bodies are probably more suited to suits? This is not for the gym fanatics; size zero babes, and the genetically blessed women unlike us who have to fight the battle of the bulge!!
Radically, speaking I do not mean that we need to get back to the basics to wear the suit cover oneself with a hijaab but please be proud of what you wear and not condemn or disdain anyone if they wear suits and say..Oh, bhenji , pendu hain!!
Remember we all rose from these roots to the pinnacles, and if we forget our roots we lose everything.

Dharma 2 / editorial for june issue

Breathe .Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
Oprah Winfrey
Dharma is complex. We take what we have for granted and are so caught up in our mindless pursuits of power, prestige and above all Mammon that we forget to cherish our real wealth. This rat –race is consuming us and stripping or should I say stripped away the moral fiber of the society. In the hindu scriptures the bull who is symbolic of Dharma who once stood proudly on four legs-austerity, purity, kindness and truth. His first three legs have been damaged by negligence, attachment, and arrogance. The fourth leg is intact because truthfulness is still honored, but it is also crumbling. The brutality which man is committing in the form of greed, lying, thievery, wickedness, poverty, deception, dispute and arrogance is crippling Earth. Is this what we want to leave for future generations: our children? Claiming that we are masters of the world and all that exists in it, we destroy it for our pleasure and convenience. Subhuman behavior in the form of gambling, debauchery, violence on women and amassing wealth are the practices of the day. Licentiousness and violence are rampant, and greed not only runs corporations but infects families and individuals as well. Not only are cattle and other animals abused, they are also slaughtered en masse for economic reasons.
WE are so bent on altering the natural world to suit our imagined needs that we have tainted our food in ways that would have been unthinkable even a few decades ago. The abuse of children and women and the neglect of the elderly-problems which have been with us for a long time-are intensifying at an alarming rate. Two generations ago parents were looked after by their children: now we think nothing of warehousing our elders. Look amongst yourselves, how many of us are passive onlookers as women are abused verbally, physically around us. People in this society create their own ethical standards and then justify their actions. The balance of nature is slowly and steadily being destroyed and destruction is setting in. This is gathering around in the form of violent revolutions, border disputes, sectarian and ethnic violence and the widening gap between haves and have-nots.
This darkness which is engulfing us can only be dispelled when we look with within. Protect your mind, the whole world is protected. Everything is interconnected and to bring out a change we first need to change ourselves. It is so easy to preach and yet, so difficult to practice. I am not being sanctimonious here but to begin would make all the difference.let us atleast make an effort and begin by stopping this passivity which has crippled us