Bachpan aur main

We all have our favorite comfort food, our favorite thing or act we do when we need to feel whole and secure again. I have one too, I stumbled into by chance, and one day thanks to these advent in technology I found an old recording of Asa Di Vaar that had been sung in the 60’s. It was this recording of the asa di vaar that immediately transports me to my grandfather. He used to listen to it on his radio when I was growing up. One of the things that comes back immediately is his embrace, his bukkal that was for me without any judgment, all embracing accepting for me.

The Asa di vaar is on of the central compositions of SGGS that enunciates the theological doctrines of Sikhi .It has been sung in a chaste, unadorned, classical style that somehow just strikes a chord in me and gives me inner peace. It’s as if the words transport me back to his embrace and his arms. It is this we what we all want, to be loved unconditionally and not be judged. Oh, how wonderful it is to be transported to one’s childhood and to not have a care in the world.

Life is tough at every step and suddenly one is hurled into all sorts of role-playing. Be an adult, a partner in a marriage and then a parent with no clue how to bring up a child, trust me nothing prepares you for this final frontier!

We all go back to our memories, and a walk down the memory lane where sense of touch, smell, or a particular food transports us back to bachpan. One of my friends who I re-met after a span of 25 years from school just gave me the best answer and she said it was talking to me. The satisfaction one gets being important to someone and to his or her happiness is un -parallell. I could actually do an advertisement for Credit Card Company and be the best sloganeer for priceless!

My sister who we all worry about that she doesn’t eat enough and is going to collapse one day walking came up with her answer of the bun samosas sold in Kasuali (Mohan’s shop) and the gulab jamuns had when she was growing up. Every one these special nuances, be it the home made pickle, comfort food for all boarders, maggi made with warm tap water, peanut butter, cold coffee, and my son’s answer from ocean’s away, makki di roti, ladyfinger and pancakes made at home. The other one swears by the cheese parantha.

A,cardiologist friend cum sister who remembers her mother by the bangles that she dons, and the smell of her pa’s cologne. How we all stumble and become poets. Life has its turns and twists and the biggest cynic will say it’s the playing with his child, and comfort food is egg and parantha.

How does food evoke comfort, security? Why do we all go back to the times of the past, where life was uncluttered and simple? I know there is some an intelligent answer, a scientific explanation for all this transportation but it’s the deja’vu that’s hit me these days and I think it’s the sign of the times as I am getting old and I want life to be meaningful and keep the circle small.

As life comes to full circle, we all become child like and want the same joy, happiness, and uncluttered free life. I wonder when you read this, what is it you reach to first, the coffee or chocolate that understands and doesn’t question.

It is the absolute complete acceptance that makes us feel whole and we are not judged by a society that is into body shaming, labeling , branding you and judging you because you don’t fit into the slot so sold by the media projection .

Kabeer and me ..

Kabeer, do not be so proud of your tall mansions.

Today or tomorrow, you shall lie beneath the ground, and the grass shall grow above you.

Since the day we gain our senses, we are driven by a sense of purpose, to collect, to achieve and to consolidate wealth, power, status and prestige. From the day we are born and we start growing up and go to school, the system, society conspires to make us focus and achieve this prize of a job, always calculated in money and the influence of power we can exert. A child is molded from very young to set goals, to achieve a specific percentage which will entail him to get a job in the distant future or to earn a degree which will get him or her a label all equated and weighed in money and the amount of materialistic things, objects one can buy.

Our society has become label conscious, be it the body that has to be in a certain shape, or the hair or the shoes or clothes one wears. They all have to be branded; it is this labeling that makes us prisoners to the shackles that start weighing us down.

Many a times, crimes are committed to keep up with this façade or one sinks into depression or stress is created leading to lifestyle disorders. It is these new age pressures that are leading to an upsurge in stress, heart related disorders and general disenchantment and unhappiness.

Escapism is sought by us in the form of a parallel life created on a virtual platform that is neither here nor there but in the form of 1 and 0 only.

The Gurus from all the religions just give one message immemorial, that why do we waste our human life, accumulating wealth that will remain when one dies or will get squandered and frittered away like the sand falling from a closed fist! However, much we try we cannot contain the sand in our fist. It will fall away, and in the same fashion time is moving, it does not wait for us. Time and the time turner and the clock keeps on ticking away but we keep on running trying to outwit, out run, out race it. Man is blinded by hubris thinking that he is special and different and this would not happen with him. He is untouched by this.

Alas, no one has the key to taking one’s wealth with them to the next journey, nor has anyone ever come back to tell what happens there. We all die, we all have a date with the Maker and we all are crumble and become the sand beneath. The journey is always in a full circle.

Instead of hoarding and waiting to enjoy in a future date that will never come, it is best to enjoy the journey to, share and to save a little (I don’t want you to be foolish) but help along the way. The joy is in giving and sharing with all and to not to be proud of one’s status, because all foundations crumble and collapse .It is always empathy and compassion and humility that is the true mark of wealth. 

Spring Cleaning , it is .

Its springtime, and everything is in excess in my backyard. It seems every flower, every plant, has had a growth injection hormone and they are literally bursting out of their seams. In fact the latest share yesterday was that finally my winter fat has gone, I now have spring rolls!! It does have me laughing, only Punjabis have this ability to laugh at themselves and make the best jokes!

We’ve just finished with the mother of all battles, game of thrones of the most interesting, closely watched election of our times, and then the winds of change with the government changing to the Congress all attributed to the charisma of one person the Maharaja. How we all love the royalty, who have joined the commoners and have undertaken the task to deliver us from poverty, drudgery, agriculture stress, water depletion, virtually empty coffers, and a drug laden state that will be on the path of prosperity in four weeks with tightening the belts (they all have enrolled in the health gyms and have personal trainers) and the latest austerity drives. They do rumble over the fact that they had just got their chance to flaunt the prestigious lal – batti !

I am sure the new government will do their best and will deliver us to a new era of prosperity and riches but in the pind they all say its an eye wash, a and its like an old bride wearing newer clothes to dupe and fool the groom.

I love the homilies, which Punjab throws up. It takes me a while to understand them but when I do, they are spot on! Every year women get obsessed with cleaning the house , we all have this fear that maybe something starts to live in our houses , and dust accumulates in gazillions and we get possessed with this demon where we start to dust , clean ,take out , air , and put out everything we own in the sun as if just airing them would make things alright ! Indian women collect , file everything away as if it might be used in future.

In the same fashion , the government is going to nasha mukt our state . There is all this hue and cry where warnings have been issued ,announced in villages and nukkads calling for the end of the drug trade.

I hope this happens and just the re-arrangement of dust doesn’t happen. In the universe, everything settles downs, complacently, it might shift its place but it does settle down. I hope complacency doesn’t come in the government and they do deliver as they promised.

As we usher in spring , by exercising and trying to look fit and wear our summer clothes and the summer dresses and be selfie ready , the new leaders and the MLA’s are all taking the pictures and splashing the photos and we all eagerly wait for the smart phones they promised and the jobs so promised.

All I know , is that with the jobs promised , drug eradication and the new phones promised and deliverance of good governance the entire state is selfie ready .

I however, have my duster, crew and the Colin spray optimistic that I will find the elusive pot of gold as Modi just took away all my extra money and zilch have nothing and the potatoes don’t sell ,we just decided to use them as land fills.

I sincerely hope we all are not taken for a ride or just be dragged to another blame game and hope all the skeletons are dusted and everything is put out so we may usher in the next season with swachhta and cleanliness

Its high time someone raised the bar for us Punjabis and actually delivered what he promised than dusted and sat down on his throne..

Methinks, that’s why game of thrones so seems like a Punjabi thing .

Spring Cleaning , it is .

Its springtime, and everything is in excess in my backyard. It seems every flower, every plant, has had a growth injection hormone and they are literally bursting out of their seams. In fact the latest share yesterday was that finally my winter fat has gone, I now have spring rolls!! It does have me laughing, only Punjabis have this ability to laugh at themselves and make the best jokes!

We’ve just finished with the mother of all battles, game of thrones of the most interesting, closely watched election of our times, and then the winds of change with the government changing to the Congress all attributed to the charisma of one person the Maharaja. How we all love the royalty, who have joined the commoners and have undertaken the task to deliver us from poverty, drudgery, agriculture stress, water depletion, virtually empty coffers, and a drug laden state that will be on the path of prosperity in four weeks with tightening the belts (they all have enrolled in the health gyms and have personal trainers) and the latest austerity drives. They do rumble over the fact that they had just got their chance to flaunt the prestigious lal – batti !

I am sure the new government will do their best and will deliver us to a new era of prosperity and riches but in the pind they all say its an eye wash, a and its like an old bride wearing newer clothes to dupe and fool the groom.

I love the homilies, which Punjab throws up. It takes me a while to understand them but when I do, they are spot on! Every year women get obsessed with cleaning the house , we all have this fear that maybe something starts to live in our houses , and dust accumulates in gazillions and we get possessed with this demon where we start to dust , clean ,take out , air , and put out everything we own in the sun as if just airing them would make things alright ! Indian women collect , file everything away as if it might be used in future.

In the same fashion , the government is going to nasha mukt our state . There is all this hue and cry where warnings have been issued ,announced in villages and nukkads calling for the end of the drug trade.

I hope this happens and just the re-arrangement of dust doesn’t happen. In the universe, everything settles downs, complacently, it might shift its place but it does settle down. I hope complacency doesn’t come in the government and they do deliver as they promised.

As we usher in spring , by exercising and trying to look fit and wear our summer clothes and the summer dresses and be selfie ready , the new leaders and the MLA’s are all taking the pictures and splashing the photos and we all eagerly wait for the smart phones they promised and the jobs so promised.

All I know , is that with the jobs promised , drug eradication and the new phones promised and deliverance of good governance the entire state is selfie ready .

I however, have my duster, crew and the Colin spray optimistic that I will find the elusive pot of gold as Modi just took away all my extra money and zilch have nothing and the potatoes don’t sell ,we just decided to use them as land fills.

I sincerely hope we all are not taken for a ride or just be dragged to another blame game and hope all the skeletons are dusted and everything is put out so we may usher in the next season with swachhta and cleanliness

Its high time someone raised the bar for us Punjabis and actually delivered what he promised than dusted and sat down on his throne..

Methinks, that’s why game of thrones so seems like a Punjabi thing .

Happiness and Happyness

Every day we get to read so many homilies, posters, well meaning thoughts, and quotes that we share at the drop of the hat. All are quickly shared on Facebook, Instagram, Snap chat or the latest whatsapp status updates to maybe give a hint of our hidden feelings or sometimes they just appeal to our inner sense of disquiet. It so happens with me too, some posts appeal to my quirky crazy side that is thankfully hidden; it would never do to be so apparent or wide open in plain view. Some are so pleasing that one just wants to share with all over spiritual, well-meaning lines that hold the gravitas of truth of our lives. We all are given to them. However, there is a down side when one starts to act and apply these to one’s life and starts acting in the same fashion.

I think we all have become too available on this instant messaging 24x7 online, instant access to all.

When is your time yours? Why is it when one stops to act the norm one is called selfish? Man is a social animal, I agree but we need to be selfish for one for the right reasons. We need to put ourselves as the priority and as mothers, women and wives, and just plain old women we need to be selfish for ourselves.

“To love is to value’. Only a rationally selfish man, a man of self-esteem is capable of love – because he is the only man capable of holding firm, consistent, uncompromising, unbetray value. The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone; Ayn Rand, The virtue of Selfishness A new concept of egoism.

I just went off all my groups, it was because I felt if I was there I was participating, reading all the time, it was like a drug that what, when and who posted what, downloading clips, snippets that one can miss. Nothing earth shattering is shared anyway and we miss out on life and its simple pleasures. I had forgotten to take out me time, time to read to do my simple things, to just be and it seemed the pinging and the checking of all messages became so paramount, and it felt as if I was attached to the phone to the hip to be on call all the time, it honestly is an oxymoron. You are there for your children with whom I can connect all the time and then that is the biggest boon, and yes it has its advantages but when it becomes an encroachment and liability then it starts to be an albatross noose.

Some times I am told I don’t pick up, some say I don’t reply, some say I read and don’t reply back. Time just keeps on flying, and I wonder where is my me-time.

And it happened one day; I just decided to be me. I don’t know how long it works, but I am reading more and in fact just happier. Also, moving my backside helps me to keep fit rather than being glued to the imaginary virtual friend I have, I removed the fit bit app too, the checking off the calories I burned was also pressuring.

Life was better when the phone was attached to the wall and one would pick up the phone with no clue that who was calling and one would shout at the top of the voice wondering who was on the other side .The joys of booking a call and finally having it come through, priceless.

Life is still the same; it is us, who have complicated it for no reason. Be happy in simple things , in that lies beauty and one can truly be liberated then .