Mental Illness ..

 Mental illness , lets talk about it .

We all are tired . Al of us thought COVID was a nightmare and we would finally wake up from it and it would vanish leaving behind the ugly sanitisers and masks that would be shoved into a drawer never to be talked about . But , its back and it’s taken countless precious lives.How do you find solace? Why is there anger and fatigue? I have seen anxiety ,anger , fatigue , sadness and a dull gloominess all over us . It’s as if Dementors came visiting and they all got released from the prison . 

I’ve binge watched Pakistani dramas, Netflix , even Ramayana , watched romance hoping the bees and birds would mate and sing . I’ve even seen all the whodonits.I’m upto my ears in nature , the sky is blue , aqua, cerulean , teal with an undertone of grey and even sometimes surprises us with shades of pinks and red with power puff clouds dotting the sky . I can be poet waxing lyrical prose .

It seeps in , takes over the dullness , and one tries to find purpose. So what changed? We all had a life outside our homes, we met , we interacted ,we are all social animals , we all like to meet others, to flaunt , to talk, to exchange and then we all got cooped into a small space. It’s been taxing to ourselves. I think the line is we are getting on each other’s nerves. It’s a long haul , be prepared for this year to be like last years . We all will get vaccinated in due course but it doesn’t remove the chance of one getting the illness again . 

How do you pick yourself out of this dirge? I am no psychologist , nor am I certified to answer but what I felt was the one thing that helped me was that I would devote some time to myself . Be it reading , or walking that has been the biggest stress buster and also to acknowledge the fact that it is ok to  be alone. Two words alone and lonely have confused us . We are alone when we don’t have people with us ,we are lonely without them . Why does that scare us ? It is because we don’t wish to visit ourselves when we are alone . It scares us,  we don’t know what to do , that is why everyone even me are busy mindlessly scrolling our phones and aimlessly looking at the screen as if something is going to leap out of it and give us gratification . I am guilty too , I don’t profess to be better or put myself on a higher plateau. 

I feel , again I can be wrong we need to be kinder to ourselves, starting from the physical self. Do not get cowed , swayed or duped by what is shown ,these are filters, these are contour tricks to make you look better , younger , sexier to have the lips that pout , to show the skin , to show the flawless smooth skin to have this beautiful lustrous curls in the perfect brunette shade. Accept what you are. This body , our host is constantly suffering wear and tear and its a sum total of the genes you carry . The nose , hair , the skin , the wobbly knees , the weird hands they are all uniquely yours! Accept ,accept and accept we all are beautiful . Then in our mind space, constantly pull yourself up , we aren’t kind to ourselves. I overthink , I always imagine situations in my mind and have counter strategy and more as if I am losing a covert operation . Also , tell your body that its ok to get tired. Listen to yourself , listen to which part of the body is aching , there is a subconscious reason why what is aching. I can promise  you that a lot of our pains are our inability to process what is happening around us and affecting our immunity .the words that are new age , like manifestation , imagining ,all are relevant. manifesting a situation beforehand can conspire the universe to make it happen . It is the self belief , it is the power to be , it is the power to make it happen ,and the confidence to believe we can do sets the ball rolling . What is the one thing you do ? Do you read , walk , sleep , put on a mask , go for a drive, talk to your friends , make someone happy , put a smile on another’s face , do activism , believe and stand by what you think is right . It is ok to be scared of the fear , but always face it . Dont cower and hide and be a mute spectator. 

These are all personal beliefs , I can be so wrong and off the charts but maybe something helps .