Be Kind

So , why does the suicide feel so personal?

Why are we crying more ?

Why are we lashing out more ?

Why does the pain hit in the middle of the chest ?

Is it because he was one of us?

Is it because one felt that he had risen from the ranks and was a commoner who believed in his dream and wanted to pursue it just because it felt right in his heart giving up the lucrative Indian middle class dream of an engineering job .He was the sexy boy next door who rose up an touched the pinnacle of success.

The questions well remain forever etched and the who , why or what will stay forever but the main underlying question is that do we admit that it is an illness ? It’s not being mental , don’t shrug it off . Its a chemical imbalance , and that just makes one sad , gloomy , full of despair and one has bleak thoughts . It’s not about that one can say or snap out of just because you or I say it . It’s because its beyond ones control and its that one split second where  he or she takes the extreme step of ending his life. 

In a world that is fraught with so much hatred , unkind behaviour , why is that only when an incident happens that we start spouting homilies ,sharing quotes and say be kind , why don’t we say I will be kind . Why doesn’t it begin from you , from home? Why not start with oneself?

Consciously or subconsciously we all resort to unkindness, nastiness, sometimes we will say things that will leave an indent or a scar that will hurt and make the other person lose his confidence, shake him up and also start the gnawing of self doubt.

I know of someone who was ridiculed , harassed because she had gained weight , that body shaming was to such an extent from ‘well meaning family Aunty’s .

Auntyji what about your butt and stomach that is dropping down to touch your pedicured jewel toes? No one wants to look into the mirror to see the true picture . 

Have you ever truly seen yourself in the mirror ? Do you like yourself ,think about that before making any statement about another . It’s not easy this world , we all have insecurities and they get manifested and heightened to such an extent that one can take the extreme step. Imagine , what one must be feeling that one tries to takes one life.So much , courage at that moment, the despair that one sinks to rock bottom to die , to snuff out ones life . 

I don’t have any answers , all I can ask from all is friendliness , to be generous ,a s we truly never know what the other person is hiding behind that mask . No one has any answer , no one has it all together , its not a piece of cloth that we can stitch it back sometimes we just hold it all together barely by a thread that will fray and unravel at the slightest tug .

You know hat broke my heart was , that his dog died yesterday , they are the mot loyal companion of all and this bond is inexplicable . What must he be feeling that he just died of heart break .....

Next time , you bring some one down , when you are nasty or say something demeaning and derogatory , remember what your words can do . They leave am ark not visible to the naked eye , but forever remain etched in the heart and soul . The holes just get wider and one gets sucked into the chasm.

The prayers you do , spiritual path you want to follow will only happen when you are kind .

Be kind , it doesn’t cost anything , its free . And see , what you unleash it’s your superpower and there is enough in this world to go around !

Horrors Untold ...

It’s 2020, its as if Ramsay brothers crossed with Jumanji and we seem to be trying one level after another. The minute we cross one , the next level of unimaginable danger comes . All of us this year since the year been literally swept of our feet by Covid 19 , a virus that has locked us down , we went from there to earth quakes , cyclone after cyclone , the largest migration of humans from one end of the country to the other just because insecurity reached to such a high that the call of the home was too strong .

It didn’t matter they had been living in other states for so long they just wished to reach their villages braving the weather , beating sun , with no food or water , just walking with their meagre possessions.

If this wasn’t enough , we started having border issues with a tiny Hindu kingdom whom we thought was our ally , Nepal. Suddenly it started invoking agreements that were just not there . We as Indians , have grown with a Bahadur bhaiya around us , they make the best watch men , every Bollywood movie has one which would say Shaab, and the famous khukri , they are everywhere around us , and suddenly they wanted to claim land . 

Then , we have Big Brother inching closely and making claims on the famous lake of 3 idiots . Where does greed end ?

It seems as if the apocalypse is near , and to make it even better the Biblical plague is also visiting us . Locusts have ravaged millions of hectares and destroyed families in its wake . And if you thought this was the end , we had the worst racial violence in America. George Floyd was killed brutally and the reasons just boil down to him being black and the fact that he transpired fear. There has been a huge protest everywhere to that extent that people have started looting , there is arson , the President went int o the bunker and the lights of the strongest democracy went out .

What do we do? Why is there regression to such an extent that a color makes us scared ? The movement is Black lives Matter , but I just wish to say we are brown , and we don’t get to speak for black people . We have enough prejudices of our own ,we prefer white skin over anything , the stigma of the wheat is color is such that we would use lightening reams to just be fair . Billions are spent to achieve this , be it Korean creams or rice water or just fair and Lovely or an expensive visit to the dermatologist.

We need to be allies , and we need to stand with them and not take over the mic.

I think we need to learn from our own Anti-blackness , our own caste and class systems . We need to stand and readdress our thought process and teach our children and everyone around us that all lives matter , its not about the melanin content that sets us apart . When we bleed , we all bleed red. The fact that we enjoy , their music , cheer them on the play ground but the inhuman , disgusting act of killing em , subjecting them to torture , and to single them out systematically is our downfall.

The crime is ours , they don’t need to educate us , its not their job . Use the internet . Read up , you’d be surprised your grey cells would increase ....

Life in Corona Times : musings

Life in Corona Times , musings for today .

So , I do remain the eternal optimist always , but sometimes incidents happen that remind me of the fragility and the uncertainty of life everything finishes . Irfan Khan passed away yesterday and today another one Rishi Kapoor , one who rose from nothing to conquer the world with his intensity and brilliance and to give life to characters which will stay with us for a long long time,a mark that wont be erased . And the other who was from the powerhouse of the Kapoors , the first family of Bollywood ,punjabi , loud , fun loving , from Pakistan and who charmed everyone with his romance, love and his being an eternal lover boy . Did they see this coming , no ? Everyone wants a long life and in the end we meet our Maker when the time is decided .

Since my childhood ,we have been taught that ask and you shall be granted , ask and you shall receive , ask and it will be yours. We have made , God into a genie and the idea is that he will grant the wish . Subconsciously , we have trained our mind into thinking that we need to trade with him . I will do this and  please grant me this . It doesn't work that way .

Babaji , had said that if we completely surrender then what we desire is ours. Because when we surrender we don't need it , it's actually killing all the nafs and the ego in asking for our material things , or for the love of something , or for the promotion ,to barter or to set wishes and terms and conditions or to bribe him by doing paath or by giving with the sole intent of receiving something in return is not what He wished us to do .

In fact , the loop is that when we will get this ,we will be happier. Is that the yardstick? Does the happiness , contentment last ? Is it for ever, or is it fleeting for the time when we want something bigger and better . 

The irony is that we forget that the higher self that is in control of everything and we need to adjust our flow with it , to kill the desire is the way to be .

As humans , our natural greed , struggle for power , hubris and to control everything all around is what has led us to this pandemic, nature is recovering , recuperating and reseizing its lost ground. Are we going to learn? Are we going to change ? Are we going to mend our ways ? 

I don't know , honestly , but with a population of 7 billion and counting , I don't think humanity will change . We are in the holy month of Ramzan and friends and family are fasting in this pious month and they all pray for deliverance . A lot of friends who are cynical will be quick to reply and remark but what would happen if we can set forth a chain of positivity and prayer and the whatever action we will take will influence the rest of your life . Let's try at least , we have been reading and engaging in fake news , drama and every thing possible and reading up to save ourselves from this monster of a virus . 

A butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazonian jungle, and subsequently a storm ravages half of Europe.Each smallest act of kindness , reverberates across great distances and spans of time - affecting lives unknown to the one who's generous spirit , was the source of this good echo.

Life in Corona Times:The Cordon Bleu way

Life In Corona Times , the Cordon Bleu way .

Ok , we have the biggest , hugest , scariest pandemic on hand ,and even the Aliens are skipping coming to Earth . And , to top it all we have an asteroid coming to blast us all to smitherens . It's a sad , sad situation, we are alll fighting and overcoming it , be it with Tai-chi , mediation , music or calls or moping and the one that has taken all of us by storm , cooking .

I mean , we live to cook but here we all are cooking in such a manner as if we could beat the virus off with a belan.

Where ever I see , or hear everyone is cooking these yummy , delectable ,scrumptious dishes and then we wonder why the clothes are getting tight .

The only solace is no one is meeting anyone , so ki farak painda hain ..and vaise bhi khande peende ghar de hain ( the true zaika is speaking in one's Mother tongue ) . 

Never mind ,we will be having food riots soon . It's become a battle field out there, normal cooking plus baking those pies and cakes and the cheesecakes , we will be the only country or the community to eat out the Corona through a food coma .

I kid you not , sometimes, I think  the pink moon bewitched us all and we all started whipping out these gastronomic delights . Everything is a work of art and , for me fancy was coffee and cake and that also got mysteriously changed to Dalgona coffee ( South Korea patents ) .

A normal parantha wali person living in the boondocks like me , has started seeing frittata for breakfast with mushrooms and a side order of burnt tomatoes ( the organic garden went on an over drive ) . So them eggs , thanks to the free - range hens that think they own the farm plus all is a staple at our place . Sometimes, I do visualise the chicken on the plate but Ive grown fond of the hens and their vagabond behaviour !

The next thing in this era of social distancing was baking bread and how ! I am telling you , we are baking ,all of us have have become competitors in making the humble bread . To sieve, cut and mix and knead and hoping and praying that Madam yeast works and isn't temperamental and it rises, and then to beat the air , punch it ( get the frustration out) and then to bake and to lovingly baste it with a butter glaze to get the sheen and sprinkle some seeds and to then Instagram it.

I am guilty of this too, we all do this , bake , post and share on our social media accounts , but some days it seems its getting a tad bit competitive out there.I don't want to bake,cook , or cut another salad , I don't want any of the fancy schmancy stuff , jut some golgappas and some rehri wala noodles would be fine, and most importantly some one else would be making em!!!

Oh ! And the vegans and their smoothies and the kale and the spinach , and Andy more flax or chia seed I see , I would seriously cry . I ain't an Olive Oyl , just need this nightmare to end otherwise as to put it like Freddy Birdy ( who I love for his wit ) I'd be using old underwear , plus stevia plus 3 eggs , almond milk = a delicious keto breakfast . Let's , just go rewind to 2109.

Life in Corona : grouchy me

It's official , we are in the next stretch of our lockdown , quarantine and curfew ,whatchamicallit , its the only way out ! Is it me , or are the birds louder ? It seems they are making fun of us being prisoners and its like a role reversal now. We have been for long abusing nature to such an extent , the only way we can move forward to live now is to learn from our mistakes . 

It's teaching me a lot , this curfew in my home and making do with what I have. We all have a lot and imagine we can survive without the trip to the bazaar,without the online shopping , without the coffee , and the numerous lunches . 

At the end of the day ,all that matters is our loved ones and the fact that we cant meet them . Remaining cooped in , is taking a toll on all of us . The challenges , the tagging in uploading pictures and now the latest one the pillow one is making me laugh. Are we so shallow that we want to upload ourselves wearing a takiya? 

Yes ,we are . And this lockdown doesn't need to be a competition , nor does need to be a better ment project . Have your doubts ,live em , and stop cleaning the cupboards . 

Give yourself time to breathe and be . I have seen all of us being rushed to prove ourselves, why do we as women have to prove our cooking skills or cleaning skills or management ones? Who designated us to be the Chef, cleaner , corden bleu and the rehriwala all rolled into one? When do we get time off ? Curfew is making life harder and sometimes unbearable and there isn't any harm in saying this . I didn't cross any imaginary Lakshman Rekha by saying this . 

Ladies just be , and tide this time and don't be and in case you find all this tough , come with me to Mars . Because you might be the juiciest , ripest , yummiest peach in the world and someone will hate you because they don't like them peaches .

It's a stressful time and we are stretched to the hilt and on top of it , no beauty parlour or time off ! They ask me to enjoy the weather , the blue skies , the mountain range showing up right in front of me ,and the beaches in Amritsar but nothing is the same without family and friends , its all overrated ! I miss them and yes this too shall pass and my faith in Him sustains but I'm allowed to be grumpy ,na ?

Letter to God

Dear God,

This isn't a post for forgiveness , we have brought on this calamity on ourselves as a human race that had become a bunch of egg headed megalomaniacs . We bungled up big time and it's pandemic that is going to mutate later into something worse. In the last two months we have become a population united by a virus that has us on our knees killing without mercy and not differentiating between the rich or the poor, black or white , Hindu or Muslim or Christian . All the divides and the class lines drawn by us have been erased and it strikes all without any discrimination .

Covid-19 is a virus that was first detected by a start up company called the blue dot that found that there was a large amount of pneumonia cases in Wuhan way back in December and then slowly and as fast as magic it spiralled out of control and we know of it as it is now . I cannot stress the importance of social distancing and isolation and washing of hands , you've had that by all the messages , forwards and bomabardments of media .

The lockdown by the governments,sealing of the borders and laying down of rules and regulations is the only way we can tackle with this . 

As humans , rather than pointing out fingers who did what or when , we have abused , scarred , raped the ecosystem systematically without paying heed to the calamity . Yes,we have had warnings and God we haven't paid any attention. The hubris of mankind is that we think its not going out affect us , but is someone else's problem not realising we all are sinking together . 

You are having the last laugh , God .  I know maybe this is a great game plan of yours to slow us all down . We all were in this mad rush and now have time to take it slow , to be with our families, to read , to get to know each other and to be still .

 All we need is to reconnect with ourselves, our inner selves that has been burdened and weighted down with the rat race and  to be one up than the other the upmanship , to be better , to have more , it all seems futile now to shop , to buy and to hoard clothes or material things , when the next victim could be you . This forced introspection given to us by you , makes us realise that all we have is the time , which is transient and we are visitors on this planet , guardians for the future generations to come, and the animals and the flora and fauna were here before us . 

Maybe , this all was done to take a pause and reconnect . But , I bow  down to your bigger plans and know that you will find a path for us. In the meanwhile ,

Love Always .

Being a woman

Last night , I had a bunch of half -assed hooligans sitting in front of me who had also come to watch the movie that has been trending the charts since it was released.Thappad is a movie that is a must watch for everyone , and it has stayed with since last night and will do for as long as I live. Woman's Day is a day that was given to us to remember and resolve that how far we have come and how far we have to go . It is meant to celebrate the achievements and to recognise this power force in the paid economy , and more in the unpaid economy and the real Thanos . She is the glue that keeps and binds us all together.

Glance and see , she wakes up first and works as a silent well oiled machine that foresees everyone's needs , desires, anticipates everyone's wish before they even voice it . Does she get the respect , recognition she deserves or is she rough shod in every walk of her life , at the hands of the conditioning that is seeped so deep into our skewed society that she is ridiculed , hurt and beaten ,abused , degraded , demeaned, disgraced and physically violated , abused by sex , and subdued. 

We are battling the largest , scariest pandemic right now,but half the population is killed , abused and scarred just because they can , and there is no remorse over it .

These young boys in front me , kept on giggling , checking the Instagram story and using their snapchat . It was a movie and why have the screen lights on or why continue with the messaging and impertinent behaviour with complete disregard for the brevity of the movie .

I loved  Taapsee for her powerful portrayal as a woman who is wronged and tried to tell that her soul was hurt and she didn't have a problem with him but her self respect was injured and abused .Its a fight for her self respect for one and all , as she had given up herself her entity her being to be his wife and what did she get in return? She was told to shrug it off  because these thing happen and she should get over it and move on . A diamond bracelet was the apology but it was all about him , his promotion , his machoisim and his image , nothing about her . He got emasculated as she moved out , but her hurt is immaterial . 

How many of us truly are told to get over the hurt and move on for children , family , status , or being weak ? But what about the beautiful you , inside who shields her pain every time as that is what is expected from .

I applaud the courage of the director , the vision and thank you for making me realise what it means to be a woman . We can only give love forth , if we love ourselves first . 

And , no this not from Rumi or a forward . 

Happy woman's Day !