Ram or Rahim

 He was looking around glancing , scared , knowing they would pounce on him from where it was unexpected . The sun was setting and the setting rays would blind him when he was cycling back. His cycle was rickety , old , the chain had been mended umpteen times and the basket was fraying , its ropes unravelling just as his life was right now . And he was wearing an old , stained kurta pajama the trademark of every villager in North India , it was stained in different places and the underarms had huge marks of sweat . His carrier at the back had a huge bag ad it was stuffed with potatoes . Freshly harvested potatoes picked from the field after harvesting had been done .

He knew this is the way he would survive the pandemic , they had shut everything down . The thekha was open but the cobbler had no takers.

He didn’t know how long he could survive , his wife was home and his unmarked daughter too . She had lost her job again , as the maids weren’t allowed into the high rise anymore .

What was one supposed to do  ? He had called in every favour , used up all his savings and no one wanted his services anymore . This was stealing but they hadn’t bothered to check the field or any left over potatoes , he could keep some and sell the rest in the next village . The daily stealing and collecting and then cycling to the next village to sell was making him tired and a funny wheeze came after sometime. Ram Bharose knew of nothing of his village IN Uttar Pradesh , now home was Punjab and he was as Punjabi as they came.

And all the funny talk in the mandir that we are Hindus and we shouldn’t trust the Muslims ,and even the sardars were just out to get us , they were siding with the Pakistanis .

He didn’t know any of this, all this was spoken at night when people got together for the cheap drink under the guise of the darkness , no one could make out but they collected in the back alley ..

He steered clear from all this , he didn’t believe in the propaganda . Imagine the fauji , being a terrorist, he was a Subedar retired who would regale everyone with stories from the 72 war . 

The harvest season would end in a few days and he had to make most of it when it was twilight otherwise the sardars would catch him and take away his loot . They ate potatoes at every meal and he tried to sell his produce and saved a bit of the money everyday . This wouldn’t last and he wasn’t strong enough to work in the fields . Tomorrow would be the last day , when he could go pick the potatoes , and he needed to visit atleast four fields 

Covid was killing people they said , the real killer is poverty and hunger . No one talked about that , they just said wear a mask , be inside , and do social distancing . Dooriyan , my foot , the hunger was killing them .

It was the last day , the sun shone high and it was fierce , May was always unkind and the sun streamed the whole day long.it kept on stretching and the day seemed longe than before . 

He waited till the start of the setting of the sun and slowly , started collecting the potatoes , sometimes the rows had lots and some none at all . He carried on combing the field to collect as many as possible . It as dark and he was tired and as carrying his sack and dragging and shuffling his feet , looking behind his shoulder , worried and scared .

One more lane and he would be in his home. And , suddenly he was ambushed because he was wearing a kurta pajama . The blunt object hit his head and he fell , blood gushing out , potatoes scattered everywhere and the cycle fell. 

The name didn’t even save him .  Ram Bharose. 

Who is funding you , Sardarji ?

 Who is funding you , Sardarji?

What is he carrying ? Is it a gun or a missile? What is he going to do? No , no its an oxygen cylinder .

How tables have turned ! Two months ago Sikhs were labelled as terrorists , the funding of the NGO’s was questioned . It was said that funding was from questionable sources , time and again we have been blamed as a community that our funding is from the neighbouring country and from foreign sources . We are in the throes of the worst pandemic and its a bleak and bleak , dark time . The Sikh NGO’s are providing free oxygen cylinders drive in for the patients irrespective of your caste , creed , religion and area borders or demarcations . 

Every single time , in our own country we have to prove ourselves again and again and when calamities occur we step in with our universal principle of langar for all , and to help in kind . Why is that then we are accepted? And when we are labelled as anti national , or a terrorist  no one comes to defend us . 

These are testing times and we all need to stand by and support each other , be it a Hindu or a Muslim or a Sikh or a Christian . It’s humanity first . Our entire movie industry , our so called influencers are quiet and we are mute spectators to their pictures , why have you not stepped forward to help? Why is it just the few  ? Our cricketers who we have put up on a pedestal have hollow feet and are not even worth a mention .. where is the darling of our masses ? Or did they just make an ass of us ? The IPL plays on as if nothing is wrong. Are we so far from reality that we don’t see the pain that has been unleashed on millions .

To label  the farmers , to sidestep and circumvent the issue that they need an immediate repeal of the laws , we started saying that they were stopping the ambulances , and not letting them pass . Don’t stoop so low , karma and everything is balanced here in this lifetime here only . 

We have had our worst enemy , Pakistan offering us help , Eidhi Foundation , cricketers , citizens from all walks of life , and the PM  and I am happy and bow to them as humanity first . We gave the vaccine to the world ,and how many came forward to help? In fact  , I was also fangirling when Kamla Harris came into office but what happened? It was America first .

I wish we had not been magnanimous to the world and not given the vaccine. I am a mixture of emotions , sad , unhappy , dismal a lot of despair and anger at the collapsed healthcare and an infrastructure that just didn’t exist . The frontline workers, the nurses , the doctors the strangers in the night who lent a hand and are working day and night and the journalists who are reporting the macabre drama to us , I salute all of you .

The stories are too many to be counted , we are dying every second. Right now , there seems to be no light and all is dark but it will open up , light will come in . It is the band of complete strangers who are virtually spearheading , and finding beds, oxygen cylinders , and just lending a helping hand with a cooked meal or just plain old listening over the social media. we have socially come together to be the army . 

It was never about the Sardar , it was always being and helping a hand to others . Our Gurus told us to lead by example and that is what they are doing and sometimes it’s the need of the hour to claim it .

Why sell us dreams?

Why do you sell us dreams? Why do you tell us we can achieve everything ? Since the day I was born you bring us up giving me everything . Why does puberty suddenly hit us and I am told that things are different , don’t do this , do that , and do this more ,learn this as this will help you later . What is this mysterious later? i strive to reach the moon , try to get good grades , be happy trying to break the invisible barriers and the shackles laid down by the society .

What is patriarchal mindset ?

 The mindset that is so ingrained in our society just to control us women . It seems as if we are sirens in disguise , just by mere walking down the road the inner exon of us and sex comes out in men . And you know the noodles , and chow mien we eat , they make us fast . Are we the road Runner? Why is it essential that one needs to be good ,nice , demure during the day and be a sex goddess at night ? Men have such dictates over us , they want to tell us how to sit , how to walk, eat , sleep. , and wear and what we are allowed to do .

In genteel society , one is allowed ( mind you )to do ladylike pursuits .

Just like Bridgeton , nothing has changed much in our lives,we are still expected to follow only lady like pursuit s, be chaperoned by a male , wear clothes that are appealing , a tad bit revealing to catch the eye but demure enough .Doesn’t that sound familiar ? We all angle for the right catch as if we are fishing ?  And , if we are the right trout or salmon , then all is well . It’s this what we all need to strive to .

Forget being an andolanjeevei or a protestor , our skin will get dark . And if you  like the young woman who wanted to work an d continue working as a nurse, be prepared to be stabbed and no one , would have the balls to come and ave you ,because they were busy making a movie . A young woman was stabbed 25 times, violently by her deranged husband who because he was within his right ( thanks to the archaic law ) to kill her , but what was more disgusting was that people recorded him killing his wife , passed by in their cars , but nobody made an effort to stop him and save her . She died on the spot in her blood and she was punished because she chose her career and took a stand for it. The husband took a break and rested because poor guy ! As exhausted after killing her . 

Who was more deranged? The man or the shameless public whose sense of excitement was aroused. Have we stooped so low that we find pleasure in all thi s? Look around, you isn’t the next person a woman ,doesn’t she deserve the same as you? What about her dreams and her joys ? Why stab, kill , burn , rape , assault , kill them just because you are intimidated?

My maid sums it up beautifully , she says they never spared Draupadi so why would they do to us now ? This is the end isn’t it? Pandemic or no when we c cant respect a human being why should the world survive ?

Mental Illness ..

 Mental illness , lets talk about it .

We all are tired . Al of us thought COVID was a nightmare and we would finally wake up from it and it would vanish leaving behind the ugly sanitisers and masks that would be shoved into a drawer never to be talked about . But , its back and it’s taken countless precious lives.How do you find solace? Why is there anger and fatigue? I have seen anxiety ,anger , fatigue , sadness and a dull gloominess all over us . It’s as if Dementors came visiting and they all got released from the prison . 

I’ve binge watched Pakistani dramas, Netflix , even Ramayana , watched romance hoping the bees and birds would mate and sing . I’ve even seen all the whodonits.I’m upto my ears in nature , the sky is blue , aqua, cerulean , teal with an undertone of grey and even sometimes surprises us with shades of pinks and red with power puff clouds dotting the sky . I can be poet waxing lyrical prose .

It seeps in , takes over the dullness , and one tries to find purpose. So what changed? We all had a life outside our homes, we met , we interacted ,we are all social animals , we all like to meet others, to flaunt , to talk, to exchange and then we all got cooped into a small space. It’s been taxing to ourselves. I think the line is we are getting on each other’s nerves. It’s a long haul , be prepared for this year to be like last years . We all will get vaccinated in due course but it doesn’t remove the chance of one getting the illness again . 

How do you pick yourself out of this dirge? I am no psychologist , nor am I certified to answer but what I felt was the one thing that helped me was that I would devote some time to myself . Be it reading , or walking that has been the biggest stress buster and also to acknowledge the fact that it is ok to  be alone. Two words alone and lonely have confused us . We are alone when we don’t have people with us ,we are lonely without them . Why does that scare us ? It is because we don’t wish to visit ourselves when we are alone . It scares us,  we don’t know what to do , that is why everyone even me are busy mindlessly scrolling our phones and aimlessly looking at the screen as if something is going to leap out of it and give us gratification . I am guilty too , I don’t profess to be better or put myself on a higher plateau. 

I feel , again I can be wrong we need to be kinder to ourselves, starting from the physical self. Do not get cowed , swayed or duped by what is shown ,these are filters, these are contour tricks to make you look better , younger , sexier to have the lips that pout , to show the skin , to show the flawless smooth skin to have this beautiful lustrous curls in the perfect brunette shade. Accept what you are. This body , our host is constantly suffering wear and tear and its a sum total of the genes you carry . The nose , hair , the skin , the wobbly knees , the weird hands they are all uniquely yours! Accept ,accept and accept we all are beautiful . Then in our mind space, constantly pull yourself up , we aren’t kind to ourselves. I overthink , I always imagine situations in my mind and have counter strategy and more as if I am losing a covert operation . Also , tell your body that its ok to get tired. Listen to yourself , listen to which part of the body is aching , there is a subconscious reason why what is aching. I can promise  you that a lot of our pains are our inability to process what is happening around us and affecting our immunity .the words that are new age , like manifestation , imagining ,all are relevant. manifesting a situation beforehand can conspire the universe to make it happen . It is the self belief , it is the power to be , it is the power to make it happen ,and the confidence to believe we can do sets the ball rolling . What is the one thing you do ? Do you read , walk , sleep , put on a mask , go for a drive, talk to your friends , make someone happy , put a smile on another’s face , do activism , believe and stand by what you think is right . It is ok to be scared of the fear , but always face it . Dont cower and hide and be a mute spectator. 

These are all personal beliefs , I can be so wrong and off the charts but maybe something helps . 

Republic Day “21

 I am an Indian , a Punjabi and a patriot , through and through .. No one can defend India more than me , my chest ain’t 56 inch and don’t even a badge or a certificate or a medal to say that I believe in the this magic that is India . Who gives one the authority to say they are Hindustani or not? My grandfather came from Pakistan and the roots are deep here . Today is Republic Day and I love watching the parade and the salaami and the tableaux .

However , today was level infinity of Jumanji ,a sea of humanity was marching towards Delhi and wanted to hold a parade parallel to put a point across that the farm laws should be repealed . I don’t need to repeat what we are fighting for . The entire contingent of Kisans cannot be divided into Sikhs , Hindus , Muslims and cant be geographically alienated from each other all came together to proceed with complete instructions and routes and medical aid and instructions . I started the  day , proud ,excited and cried when I saw the jazba of the old men walking , they were full of vigor and josh  and wanted to walk and show and be heard to the deaf government who refuses to listen to them .

What did they come across ? They came across barricades , blockades to stop them and not let them pass and then tear gas shells . The farmers have sat in the  blistering cold , lost co farmers to cold and to ailments and have been subject to continuous harassment by their own state and government and sections of society who probably associate a Sardar with being a terrorist or is a Khalistani wanting to carve out his own nation . How many times does he prove his nationality ? The arm chair activists sitting in the comfort of their homes watching a sold media that is just worried about licking the arses of  the masters and not about the real portrayal cannot decide nor be the judge or make a statement as to what has happened there.

One needs to be clear , there was no Khalistani flag there , the Nishan Sahib was put on an empty pole , the tricolour was not insulted , nor taken off nor was their any abuse. All was fine , till the lathicharge was started .

Violence was instigated , brute force was unleashed . What do you expect when all this happens?

When we can unfurl the Nishan Sahib at our regiments, have it flying high at our Gurudwaras , how does it become anti national when it is hoisted at the Lal Qila? Isn’t that ours ? A symbol cannot be anti national . When we have proven ourselves time and again across centuries, tine and space where our Gurus have laid down their lives, martyred themselves for the good of Hindus and the country , why are we drawn into this conflict again?

Don’t get drawn into this , we need to stand tall , stand united with the farmer who sits on the border asking for just a right to earn his livelihood without taking away ad imposing laws and regulations ,that will choke him.

Dear Me

 Dear Me ,

This year was supposed to be different , I had high hopes. I had thought that with last year being this annus horribilis we would have all learnt to be kinder ,have more gratitude , be content but nah !back to being the same . As someone just put it , Hum nahin sudharenge . We are just the same . I had thought that the covid would have an expiry date and all the bleakness and darkness would go away and the weariness of last year would just disappear.

Why did I have hope for this year? Why did I think people would become kinder or have more empathy towards each other ? I kept on hoping against hope that things would change , as leaves fall and seasons change .I had complete faith that humanity would have a sea change this time because we had witnessed the hardest times of our lives .

I don’t know why , it seemed as if life would change . The pandemic had brought all of us closer , life was becoming humane and we were considerate and kinder and then ugliness reared back and we are back to ourselves.

I don’t absolve myself , it’s like we are all sucked into this sea of despair and anger and short tempers. We all want the cloud of doom to go away but it seems to be darker and descending on us and sucking us into a vortex of evil.

All the fake smiles and the cheer we feed ourselves and thinking that the close brush to death would make aloof us less int o the rest race and more into livin and being kinder to each other . It didn’t .

I need to take the hint that if someone isn’t going to call or text they really mean it and they aren’t busy . If they aren’t taking out time for you , accept it . Dont hold out that they will call or text . Notice the change , notice the excuse but don’t mention it. If someone uses harsh words , believe them , they really think less of you . 

If someone in jest says I am just kidding and makes fun , believe and read into the words . What they say is what they mean , they just try to sugarcoat it . If someone says stuff when they’re angry , believe them , when one is angry , the truth comes out . It’s where they get the courage to say what they feel which they couldn’t .

Don’t settle for second best . Don’t settle for half promises . 

Today , is National Girls day and I saw a lot of tweets and posts of hugging and embracing the girl but when it came to a ruling that pressing breast without skin to skin contact is not a sexual assault by the Bombay High Court . Believe this to be the state of the country . I think what the honourable justic is align that we need to bare our breasts , be touched and pinched then only it is an assault ,  not when its through clothes . So groping is allowed .

Women , I honestly want you to believe what is dished out to you ! Dont side sweep , or brush it under the carpet or just think its a one off .And no one told you to be strong or shoulder everything ,youre allowed a break down and you’re not exaggerating . We all need a hug sometimes .

And Ps : this is a rant . 

Love me . 

What is label ?

 What is a Label ?

Gigi Hadid labelled her kitchen cabinet and the world went into a tizzy and a sneak peek of the Shan masala further more so . Labelling is so easy and to stick a sticker on. Labelling us as a terrorist is so easy . Let me show you what we are and what arsenal we have stock piled and where . It is simpler than googling , I can just tell you in three simple steps. You go to a building in the middle of anywhere , it  has a sword like , very tall pole fluttering with a flag with an insignia. It is a simple square constructed building , it can be rectangle and you enter the big big hall with a lot of windows. Sikhs love windows to look out and flaunt he selves decked up in peacock colours of the turban and the women , how beautiful they are . They are the best and this is all thanks to the genes we carry from our ancestors and Aryan interbreeding . 

Then you have long mats spread and you sit on them and then the stockpile comes . You sit on them irrespective of being an upper caste Indu or a low caste Dalit ( sorry I wrote this ) but Dolores Umberidge made me do this . You are then given a weapon of your choice , starts with a generous helping of dal , with sabzi and the quintessential prasada , with dahi . Punjabi adore their milk. And hence the kheer after wards . 

My dear blind Bhakts , I am sue in your lifetime you must have been visited. Gurudwara and had langar . Did you not in the depths of your soul get a sense of contentment and gratitude ? How come you and halts never researched that Khalsa Aid is working on the lines of Bhai Ghanaiyaji and Red Cross on the lines of humanitarian help to all across religion , country , borders to embrace all in term of need . What a blooper to tar the image by labelling us this ? We d not want a separate state , India is ours ,a nd we are proud Indians and that is why we lay our lives time immemorial defending the borders. How many times do we have to prove our patriotism? And why do we have to do that ? Who are you ? 

Labels are given to to organise , to easily locate and identify , distinguish from another . Labels are meant to be kind , to be gentle and to give name and not  harm or segregate that we  start hating each other . The virtual world labels us as fat , smart , body ashamed us and those troubles are enough for us to handle !!! And for me , I got labelled as Mommy , Mama , Mumma ,and Ammi . These are the labels of love that cross borders of religion ! Just imagine what law I would be charged for.

Manipulation of news to suit a section of society isn’t needed but the unity and the cohesiveness of the spirit shown by all the farmers is a tribute to the rea India and the protest is the single largest one in history of mankind.

And the ones bothered about the pizza , it juts got bigger !! Label that . in fact , just because the organisation decided to help Sikhs for a change , it became like Sadda Kutta kutta .

Tuhada kutta Tommy .

It’s ok to be a saint while helping everyone and everywhere but when we help our own brethren we become labelled as terrorists and funding is questioned . Guru Nanak ji started the initial bank and it continues.....