Bhutan Diaries-1

A trip to Bhutan cleared up a lot of myths for me. This small Himalayan kingdom has made happiness a way of life. They are happy with the life they lead.  In our daily life, materialistic things, deadlines, the stress level, a desire to achieve, acquire, to attain and to covet more and more drive us. It is how we have become. However, the pace in this tiny country is driven by simple pleasure and contentment .Its amazing that how a country in the last thirty years has changed its thought process in unity to happiness; where the goal is to preserve its culture traditions, its roots and to replace the economic structure with happiness.

We these days use emoticons to denote, happiness and to show our pleasure all the time but we do we ever understand what it means? To transform oneself, de colonizes to change the mindset in such a way to completely then surrender to the way of life as said by the masters. For them, happiness is in every action, in every breath and the way they are humble to every living being, be it a human or nature.

It is this what makes them truly successful. The air is slow, serene and the pace is soothing taking us through its motions. We were a group of 13, an unlucky number for some but lucky for us and at the Cheri Monastery where when one prays and asks for a wish it is granted. But, the beauty was the way when the monk explained why we fold our hands, and bring them first to the forehead, then to our lips and then to the middle of our body, followed by prostrating on the floor with hands splashed wide open on the floor.

He said we first fold our hands to the middle of the forehead as we center our wish to the mind and focus on it clearly and succinctly. Then  we bring the folded hands to our lips, putting the wish into words and forming the sentences and lastly we draw our hands to the middle of our body , where lies the life force, the soul that resides in us.

I found this whole explanation so simple, so beautiful and it was as if all the pieces of the jigsaw pieces of the puzzle were falling in place. Why are we not ever taught this? Why is religion kept apart from us, to be in formal structure lines, to scare, to intimidate?

The inner secret is to have it a part of us in daily motion. And, it manifests in all big and small things.

Women and the times

A Bengaluru girl whose Facebook page and matrimonial advertisement went viral when rebelled her parents who had put her onto the marriage market. 80 percent of women go thorough this parade where parents put them through an embarrassing parade where there being fair (the biggest advantage), homely, obedient are the biggest virtues, oh and before I forget the she is always convent educated, soft spoken and is a great cook and the cherry on the cake she is of an adjusting nature.

 In short, she is a cow.

The young software engineer rebelled against this and set up a webpage and also made a matrimonial CV that was anything but the usual. She wanted someone who would accept her for being small, dorky with glasses and someone who was definitely not marriage material. She wants someone who wouldn’t ask her to grow her hair!

Why do we as a society expect so much in totality from the girls? Are we marrying our sons to life partners and companions who love them for what they are, faults and warts and all or do we want glorified, showpieces who fit the bill of statuesque women, tall, fair, beautiful, well versed in making a home. It is the mindset of the society that puts subtle, but such fierce pressure on the women to perform.

However, the younger generation is changing, her webpage has had 2, 30,000 hits on her page and also dozens of marriage proposals plus a few from non-Indians who wonder if they are eligible.

As, a society now we are going through a time that is rapidly changing but we are not evolving the way our masters wanted us to, in this rapid growth we want girls to be educated, to hold professional jobs, to augment the total income but we want to oppress them and want to be homemakers, pushed to the hilt. Why is that we want them to fit the mold? The mindset is such that boys are corrupted and as the rapist in the infamous Nirbahaya case says, Girls who are decent do not roam at night. The girl was asking for it as she resisted.

This mindset is the reflection of the men who have been conditioned by their parents to believe they are superior, just because of their sex and have a right to be right.

An oxymoron of a society that preaches itself hoarse to save the girl, educate the girl, to teach a girl is to teach a society, to save the true wealth of a society.

Aren’t these mere words that just are mere platitudes to be a part of the social campaign and a public relations exercise?

Our real progress is not by Swacch Abhiyaan, or cleaning the Ganges, or by cleaning the streets of filth, it is the filth that lies in between us, our mindset that is so polluted, vilified that needs ‘ shuddhi karan! Don’t think, just because the stock market is zooming or the repo rate has been cut to boost the economy, that one can build more homes, have a better life style, if the women is battered, bruised and not given her worth, who are you going to enjoy the home with?

In fact, All Izz Not Well, admitting is the first step and then change will come. Till then the MNC’s manipulate deceive, dupe the girls into thinking the fair and lovely whiteness is the ticket to safety and freedom. My dear, you will still be killed, burnt, thrown acid at, aborted, raped, hung, murdered, just because the Creator made you a woman.

Being fair, rich or poor nothing saves you.

The Tea Bag

The whole country is scared with a swine flu attack and everywhere I see people wearing masks, covering themselves from this epidemic. Also, my whatsapp keeps on sending me these forwards from well meaning friends telling me what to do and what not to do.

Last week, I started my evening school after a long winter break, and it was heartening to see the village children to turn up, back with their eager smiles ready to receive than expect anything. I started my class after exchanging pleasantries and knowing about what they had been up to over the winter. Well, class started and I noticed that all of them were wearing these different colored bows. I shrugged it off thinking, that maybe it was the new fashion in my pind (village).  They always follow some fashion and then they all ape it!

One of the young girls, came up to me in the midst of the lesson and at a closer distance realized it was a piece of string that suspiciously had a tea bag in the center wrapped colorfully.

I asked her what it was and she said her mother had made it; it contained a powdered mixture of camphor and small elaichi.  And, then pandemonium!

Every child, boy, girl, teachers, parents, grandparents and the cows, buffaloes were wearing this tabeez/ amulet to ward off swine flu.

Apparently, the village quack sorry Doctor in residence, had started this get rich quick scheme to play on everyone’s fears. The mix was available at all the village shops for Rs 30 for the small one and it went up to Rest 300 for the largest one that was bought for animals!

I burst out laughing. We, all are so susceptible to anyone who can give us a quick miss to illness and bad luck. Logic fails and the mind tricks us into believing in these wacky ideas. The boys wore it on their forearms, the girls in longer threads around their necks, the little ones on their wrists; and oh! The secret was to inhale it after every couple of hours.

The children also told me, that their teachers in government schools had little bowls in class with the powdered mixture to prevent themselves from swine flu.

Its interesting how the children even knew the statistics to how many people had been killed by swine flu and how it was going to kill more. Ask them about their subjects or any other fact , I always get the silent treatment .

I wondered whether the cardamons used were original or just dirt . My simpletons were being taken for a ride and Dr. Sonu was making good money ! Any fever, runny nose , cough is  being treated as most critical  with utmost care  here. The village folk are simple people who still have the streak of innocence that is missing in us jaded lot.

Ps: Never a dull moment here; today at 3 am , the entire village was out in the streets as an earthquake was coming.  Everyone was out in the streets ; and that is a story for another day.

Selfie 101

It’s the wedding season in City beautiful. Every day there are MBA’s to attend, marriage, bhog, akhand paths and anniversaries. You name it, the city is celebrating the event /milestone, and all the more reason to. Punjabis, by nature are a happy lot and when there is music, booze well the party gets to be more fun and we all attend with Mummyji, Daddy ji, Bhaji, Bhenji, the kids, the 2.2 maids that follow the entourage with the designer baby bag and Chotu, with the latest baby pram.

In fact, what I have been seeing at all the events, is that all the women are dressed to kill with the jewels which could effectively deliver Punjab through the financial crisis it is facing. Sometimes, the diamonds and the baubles are so big and the shine so much that in the dark, she can lead the way to the car park. However, an interesting trend is the selfie.

At the last few functions, A lot of these twenty something’s, dressed and decked up with enough war paint to scare the terrorists and hair teased into weird styles that could effectively hide a bomb, start making these pouty duck faces and look at the camera of their smart phone. A bit of the flash, a style of the hand on the waist in a specific geometrical angle, a tilt of the head, and well she is captured in rapid succession to be instantly uploaded to instagram and shared via snap chat.

Forget, if the function is going on, if the marriage is being solemnized, or if the priest is chanting the shlokas, the ever-important selfie is taken.

Some of the absurd ones will carry on, right in the shamian, tent, pandal where the wedding takes place and then the giggle. Oh, and you thought men, are excused, no no, the preening of the moustache, checking the hair whether the gel is in place of the carefully coiffed hair and sucking in of the stomach and making the chest look wider, and the picture is taken along with the drink of choice.

The current trend is that one scientist / developer took advantage of this narcissist trend and invented the selfie stick!

Yes a selfie stick where you can place your cell phone in a device and use your blue tooth and sync with the remote and take pictures.

A steady hand, and practice till you get it right before you go for the functions. A London university is in fact offering sulfide 101 courses for hundred and sixty pounds! What all we can learn, forget that we need to save the world, or we have the worst time in history where unrest or there is strife. You should get your selfie right t, to document yourself in the virtual world. These days, one is so attached to this third arm – the cell phone and the virtual world, that we are always connected to an imaginary world leaving reality far behind.

An escapism to the worst or best.

At  a wedding yesterday , one of the older generation Aunty’s summed it up perfectly , she said ki fark painda hain’ no money is lost , even if one keeps on taking so many pictures!

This self obsession of taking pictures was evident at the premier mall Elante yesterday , a girl was taking pictures standing in front of the fountains and posing, she risked falling in  and was saved by her friend who saved her in the nick of time. What is a bit of pneumonia for instant fame and the largest amount of likes  on face book via status update?

I do however , am waiting to learn the right duck pout , anyone ready to give lessons?

an open letter

An open letter

A letter written by a former MTV VJ and actor Shenaz Treasureywala has gone viral, thanks to social media.  been written and tweeted about and shared a numerous times. We , all have gone viral reading and sharing it with each other and discussing it, analyzing, lauding it .

She asks for a stop to all sexual harassment and rape activities. She wants the most influential and powerful men In India to help her, to step in and to understand and most importantly feel how it ‘feels’ to be groped, felt and touched in private places just because one is a woman.

They don’t even spare young girls. She writes openly, apologizing to her parents who did not want her to speak about it.  It started with her, as early as 13 years and she could not understand whether it was the dress, or why she did not get clean even after bathing numerous times.

Rape is a physical sexual assault and defiling the victim by physical intercourse by violence by incapacitating the person. We, all know what rape is; we all understand the gory impact and what it means for the victim.

But, what we have seen is empty threats, a long drawn court battle, where the offender is left either with a short sentence and a fine. And, it is written he is an offender. How can we in our right conscience allow this to happen? Are seven or eleven or in some cases five years equal to what the victim feels? Ho is the term equated with?

Her, open letter to end this, and to serve a death sentence is what needs to catch momentum. Everyone feels, and they are unanimous in asking that we need to be so stern, and need to set an example. Nirbahaya, forming trusts, and then repeated rapes, and still no end to these heinous crimes.

Of course, there are some in the society who say she did this to get cheap publicity and to garner more viewers for her movie, but critics and cynics will always be there.

Hope is what sustains life, and in this case it is an oxymoron where we need to end life to serve as an example. If this letter that has been read by children also , in villages makes an impact and if the Prime Minister who promises Ache Din , can warrant a change, truly we will usher in a better brighter India.

True progress of a nation is when its 50 % of its population feels safe and not vulnerable to walking down a street . Where she , is comfortable to wear , to be , to do , what she feels and not be targeted  for being a woman. Where the men , do not blame her for being wicked, for enticing , luring them to rape her. She is being blamed for being loose, fancy just because she eats noodles and has a mobile. Please move forward and let the girl live, breathe and be free , that is the biggest gift we can give her .