results and reactions toi 26/5/11

It’s that time of the year, hearts racing, pulsating and adrenalin pumping -----IT’S RESULT TIME! As one mother sweetly put it as her status on Facebook- It’s DHAK DHAK time!! Both her teenage children’s results were being announced by the CBSE boards. It is an intense time where family, peer pressure coupled with cracking the entrance exams and a failure to secure admission into a prestigious university sometimes drives the teenagers to the ultimate oblivion-suicide. A young life is lost when they cannot withstand the pressure of performing and later when the results are announced they do not achieve the desired cut-ofF. Gurmehar , a class twelfth student says there  lives are governed by cut-offs ,percentage scored , ranking and they are automated in achieving that. There is a lot of societal pressure and expectations, says Hartaaj Powar , a class twelfth non-medical student.

Psychiatrists say that, suicide is an extreme step that may be triggered by one incident but the individual would have been suffering from depression for quite some time. The moment results are announced, merits declared rankings put out in black and white that acts as a catalyst and a teenager who is mentally weak succumbs to the extreme step of taking one’s life. Irrespective of the change in the board system in the country the intensity remains same- to secure a seat in the desired course in the right prestigious university which ensures the path to financial success. Society is merciless as it lays undue importance to name of institution and that only that particular institute can make you successful which is these days calculate din monetary worth . These pressures weigh on the child who is bogged down by the rat race all fueled by media, internet magazines all proclaiming success

Barinder preet, a mother of two teenagers says,” IT’s absolutely shocking! This madness over marks and cut off percentages can drive anyone up the wall-and these are kids we’re talking about. It’s actually scary that despite being such a good student, how the performances drive the teenagers to extreme steps.”

On one hand is the competition driven for limited seats, the proportion of children appearing for the pitiful few seats is abysmal says, Binny Bains. This ridiculous ratio is also responsible for the suicide amongst teenagers during these months because a failure to achieve the said seat means a loss in face. Every parent worth their money just focuses or wants his child to do well, to secure an admission and a seat. The peer pressure is so much coupled with family expectations from home and then the family around that the child feels stressed out.

It is advised by CBSE counselors who have given their helpline numbers that instead of reprimanding or scolding them that they have not performed well they should be handled carefully. There should be inter action, a reassurance of complete unconditional support and love. It is a tightrope to walk on, on one hand we as parents don’t want to be lenient, says Tanu a mother of class twelfth student but on the same hand to keep them focused and determined is equally important. There needs to be a purpose which needs to be kept in mind at all times. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill or a handbook which lays down any guidelines to parenting. It is intuitive and instinctive.

It should always be kept in mind that our children all can’t be winners and we cannot please the society we live in. It is more important to raise fine, good upright citizens of the world who are moralistically right. The pressures of performance and to be a money earner where that is the only measure of success and one is gauged by salary earned.

To stop this rot and to stem the rot where children are succumbing to pressures by committing suicide and taking their lives , we all need to collectively need to overhaul and re-work the system from within.

Ravneet Sangha

The Real Question

We all do it. Every day. Many times a day. We forget our center. We forget who we are. We trade our peace and happiness for some worldly morsel and repeat the mantras ' if only ' and 'what if' . Usually the stakes are higher- a job, a relationship , a trip around the world or the fantasy of your choice-but it's the same thing.We' re missing something and we want to fill it the emptiness with whatever is closest at hand be it the chocolate or the cup of coffee or the gratification retail therapy at least for a while. But everything worldly is temporary, I'm going to get hurt all the time because it will change or disappear or the mirage will burst ,poof. That is the nature of all worldly objects, desires.
The real question is what am i really looking for ? What will truly satisfy me? What will fill me so I no longer feel empty? Will another exclusive suit or the limited edition designer bag or will another pet charity project which will bring one bigger accolades ? On the days I'm no longer swayed by a chocolate and my coffee combo ,I've discovered the trick is to not to feed the emptiness. Just stay empty. Feel the emptiness. Feed the emptiness, enter it , be one with it.  Instead of trying to fill one with transitory objects and experiences , allow it to take  you to the other side. Then you can be filled with that which is eternal and that which will not leave you jilted like a heart brokenlover.
once than that happens , you can still go out in the world and play with all its toys. But your senses will no longer jerk the reins out of your hands and run away with your mind landing you in a mess.
Now you're choosing the direction and having the fun.
It's easier said than done, you're probably reading this and saying , smiling too faintly and thinking someone who drinks coffee like anything, eats all the wrong food well she's a fine one too preach.
well sometimes the brain waves do connect and i try and desist when the senses tug at me and when I find I'm about to give in, I try to remember and take a few deep breaths and ask myself : ten years from now will this matter> How about a month from now? An hour? No. So why lose my balance, why lose my equilibirium ? and the calm/ uncalm moment passes.
Even if I think it matters, if I have no control over it , I may as well let go before holding on tears me into shreds . As long as I hold on, I'm ruled by my senses . ut if I let go and center myself in my true Self with my breath and my mantra, I cannot be swayed.

the rebel mind

I used to meditate, I stopped

I used to do my path, I stopped.

I meditate sometimes, but don’t have the discipline, so don’t do it every day.

I meditated but don’t do it every day as my schedule is too tight.

We all prepare ourselves, gear up to sit quietly in contemplation and sit down earnestly to practice regularly and know that there is peace if we focus and concentrate every day. Yet somehow volition and action don’t connect and the early eagerness dissipates with the passage of time. Why ?When one sits down to be quiet , and sit for meditation does the mind take it as a signal to suddenly wreak havoc and remembers at the very precise moment to do something so urgent which requires immediate gratification otherwise life cannot move on. It is the most sneaky and subtle maneuver that nobody notices that we are being sabotaged, literally. If you notice that suddenly you remember all sorts of inconsequential things, chores to do the minute you decide to prepare yourself for meditation, which means the REBEL MIND IS AT WORK.

the rebel mind

I used to meditate, I stopped
I used to do my path, I stopped.
I meditate sometimes, but don’t have the discipline, so don’t do it every day.
I meditated but don’t do it every day as my schedule is too tight.
We all prepare ourselves, gear up to sit quietly in contemplation and sit down earnestly to practice regularly and know that there is peace if we focus and concentrate every day. Yet somehow volition and action don’t connect and the early eagerness dissipates with the passage of time. Why ?When one sits down to be quiet , and sit for meditation does the mind take it as a signal to suddenly wreak havoc and remembers at the very precise moment to do something so urgent which requires immediate gratification otherwise life cannot move on. It is the most sneaky and subtle maneuver that nobody notices that we are being sabotaged, literally. If you notice that suddenly you remember all sorts of inconsequential things, chores to do the minute you decide to prepare yourself for meditation, which means the REBEL MIND IS AT WORK.

women power - a distant dream

The Date: April14th 2012
Venue: Raj bhawan, sector 2,
Chandigarh
A press release by the newly found government under the surprising coup by women of Punjab who materialized, gathered their strength and formed a political party in the times of adversity to combat the genocide, illegal abortions done in the state, rise of drugs, alcohol, rapes , molestations, bride –burning and last of all the horrific rise of acid throwing where girls were being disfigured . This party under the command of Mrs. W. has taken the old battle guards of Punjab by surprise. It is in fact a tribute to the rise of women power all over India. India is now ruled by Amma in the south, Didi in the East, Bhenji in the north, Aunty in the capital, Madam in the centre, Tai in the rashtrapti bhawan and the wife at home. The last bastion was Punjab and Haryana and slowly and slowly the winds of change like the slow and reliable Ambassador ( which has always been the symbol of power in India ) , the last citadel fell. Punjabi men, who for years have ruled us by the dwindling knowledge they possess lost in large numbers. Of course the grounds of corruption raised by the new yellow party also fell mellow when the women decided to take matters in their own hands. The main slogan was development, progress and prosperity and it was not based on the divisive politics and nor were feminist issues like women issues eg, dowry deaths, rape or to some extent price rise which affects a house wife taken into account.It is quite apparent in the country that women are taken as representatives to appease the masses, you know the bahus and betis and the beautiful charismatic film actress who captures the vote bank .Politics in this case has taken a 360 degree where women came together to form a party and surprisingly the youth and the older generation joined in large numbers. This infant party which came together to answer the problems which Punjab and not just men or women has met with a resounding success.
Women’s Party is neither Marxist, a leftist or right wing party. Mrs Sunaina,the spokeswoman asserts it’s a party which came to birth to answer the problems which a male –dominated society could not answer and kept on steering the course of Punjab to failure and doom. Where is it stated that to fund the budget there should be more and more liquor vends opened next to schools, residential areas to finance the government? Why is the wheat rotting, where every year like stale bread it is shown on the national channels given the perfunctory 2minutes sound bite and then thrown into the bin for resurrection next year?
Why are girls being killed and our so-called saviors in rotation change government seats but the stats keep on dipping lower? Maybe they did want to start the first museum showcasing girl child as an exhibit and at least be the forerunner in something?
This party is a representative of the common women who is child –bearing, child rearing but is also the foundation of the society where she knits the fragments of the society together and it is this common, unrecognized woman who has given birth to all the leaders but sadly in the megalomaniac world of today she still dreams on for a better tomorrow.


Note please:
The writer hopes, no knows that things will change. As the saints said: THIS too shall pass.
Ravneet sangha

sounds...

This is not a loony crazy certifiable piece, and it does make sense in the end as it unravels itself. Now, that I have your attention, let’s get down to business.
Few will hear the secrets hidden within the notes. Rumi
Inside the world of audible sound, the zillion sounds, music, tv traffic, people talking, fighting, shouting, caressing, lovers talking, mothers crooning , lullabies being sung, vibrations produced by jiminy crickets in the garden or just the chanting done by the pandit in the temple- there is a secret world of sound. It is the sound that has always been and always will be the essential sound, the intrinsic vibration of the universe. It is the sound of creation, the voice of God heard by Mohammed in the cave of Ghar-e –Hita , by Shiva in his Himalayan abode, and by Jesus in the wilderness. Called anhata naad in Sanskrit, sarmad by the sufis,logos by the Christians and we all mystics, mere human beings, simple folk like me of all traditions, pray, meditate, fast, ingest sacred herbs, dance and chant in the longing to hear the sound that transcends sound.
Just as our fascination of all things material and the delights of the world may distract us from the world of the Spirit, our absorption with the denser vibrations of audible sound makes it hard for us to hear the inner subtle sounds. To listen to the inner sound, we need silence. Try a simple experiment, go out and sit outside for half an hour in a secluded corner in the garden minus the omnipresent cell phone, the ipod and just try to hear. I know it does sound bizarre; the complete absence of external disturbances makes it possible for one to hear the sounds of nature. The twittering of the birds, the sounds made by insects going about their daily business, the butterfly literally humming in the midst of the flowers, the squirrels making that particular sound, the leaves and the trees swaying in harmony with the wind rustling up visions of peace tranquility in one. This silence is enough to hear the sound of silence. ‘The Father uttered one word, that word is His son, and He utters, Him forever in everlasting silence: and in silence the soul has to hear it.” Saint John, medieval mystic.
Chanting is the pathway to the bridge of silence to hear the inner sound of the soul. I know we‘ve come to back to the how’s why and back to the mumbo- jumbo ramblings, but trust me it does work. Just imagine all those learned people and saints must have stumbled onto something which they are passing from generation to the next, so go ahead open the window. Don’t be afraid or hesitate, you might like it. I did. And it works.
It’s as simple as putting the mantra on the breath and repeating it silently, you hear it, feel it inside but you don’t audibly sound it. You’re making sound… and you’re not making sound. It’s the sound of silence.. Chanting is important but the silence afterwards is the true reward. If we stop, pause, freeze frame ourselves in this busy life where we keep on post poning simple pleasures , we will hear the noise , the clutter caused by our thoughts and feelings. It’s a mysterious presence the sound of silence, it makes one uncomfortable at first because we fight it, repel against it but this immense nothingness, is our origin.
It is this base, this homestretch we all are looking for which is the origin where one is stripped of all outer illusion unmasking one to reveal the essence. If you want the truth to reveal itself, just listen to the secret sound, the real sound which is inside you, the music which is revealed when all is quiet.