It’s that time of the year, hearts racing, pulsating and adrenalin pumping -----IT’S RESULT TIME! As one mother sweetly put it as her status on Facebook- It’s DHAK DHAK time!! Both her teenage children’s results were being announced by the CBSE boards. It is an intense time where family, peer pressure coupled with cracking the entrance exams and a failure to secure admission into a prestigious university sometimes drives the teenagers to the ultimate oblivion-suicide. A young life is lost when they cannot withstand the pressure of performing and later when the results are announced they do not achieve the desired cut-ofF. Gurmehar , a class twelfth student says there lives are governed by cut-offs ,percentage scored , ranking and they are automated in achieving that. There is a lot of societal pressure and expectations, says Hartaaj Powar , a class twelfth non-medical student.
Psychiatrists say that, suicide is an extreme step that may be triggered by one incident but the individual would have been suffering from depression for quite some time. The moment results are announced, merits declared rankings put out in black and white that acts as a catalyst and a teenager who is mentally weak succumbs to the extreme step of taking one’s life. Irrespective of the change in the board system in the country the intensity remains same- to secure a seat in the desired course in the right prestigious university which ensures the path to financial success. Society is merciless as it lays undue importance to name of institution and that only that particular institute can make you successful which is these days calculate din monetary worth . These pressures weigh on the child who is bogged down by the rat race all fueled by media, internet magazines all proclaiming success
Barinder preet, a mother of two teenagers says,” IT’s absolutely shocking! This madness over marks and cut off percentages can drive anyone up the wall-and these are kids we’re talking about. It’s actually scary that despite being such a good student, how the performances drive the teenagers to extreme steps.”
On one hand is the competition driven for limited seats, the proportion of children appearing for the pitiful few seats is abysmal says, Binny Bains. This ridiculous ratio is also responsible for the suicide amongst teenagers during these months because a failure to achieve the said seat means a loss in face. Every parent worth their money just focuses or wants his child to do well, to secure an admission and a seat. The peer pressure is so much coupled with family expectations from home and then the family around that the child feels stressed out.
It is advised by CBSE counselors who have given their helpline numbers that instead of reprimanding or scolding them that they have not performed well they should be handled carefully. There should be inter action, a reassurance of complete unconditional support and love. It is a tightrope to walk on, on one hand we as parents don’t want to be lenient, says Tanu a mother of class twelfth student but on the same hand to keep them focused and determined is equally important. There needs to be a purpose which needs to be kept in mind at all times. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill or a handbook which lays down any guidelines to parenting. It is intuitive and instinctive.
It should always be kept in mind that our children all can’t be winners and we cannot please the society we live in. It is more important to raise fine, good upright citizens of the world who are moralistically right. The pressures of performance and to be a money earner where that is the only measure of success and one is gauged by salary earned.
To stop this rot and to stem the rot where children are succumbing to pressures by committing suicide and taking their lives , we all need to collectively need to overhaul and re-work the system from within.
Ravneet Sangha
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