I am a WWPM

I am a WWPM . It is not the latest war missile made by the Iranians, nor is it a mysterious disease which inflicts women. Ninety percent of people are going to think it's a pre-menstrual syndrome which hits women worldwide; thus WWPM. 

Nothing as simple as this which would men understand women. This is simply a worry wart paranoid mom. When did life and being a mother get so complicated? In our times life was simple , cut and dried. Everyone just studied, had lives apart from Facebook, Twitter , Orkut personalities . We did not have fan following we had real touch honest human friends. Everyone gathered to do mundane things such as playing in the park with the bunch of kids of the neighborhood, everyone played cricket or with  a ball, we didn't require maids or bhaiyas to keep us occupied. We also were not constantly playing on the mobile/electronic handheld devices to be removed into a world of make-believe fighting demons and all sorts of horrors. Life meant having real-life pets and not virtual ones. This is just one aspect of life. Right now if as a mother you have not enrolled your child in a fancy schmancy school which will shape his /her life to become a leader of tomorrow , and where they learn one foreign language forgetting the mother tongue and also can play golf or tennis forgetting what it meant to play hockey.  You've failed , if your child is not doing all this , with the right type of accessories. 

When one's child is growing up , one is also bogged down by the fact what stream they should choose? I have gone half cuckoo( the other half has been left for the younger one) .The pressures are immense, to say that stress to gain admission with the right kind of tutor is more than getting the next government made in Punjab is no joke. In fact , I have come to the conclusion that getting coalition partners to form an alliance is easier but to co-ordinate my son's tuitions is harder than Army war games played in Rajasthan to keep in check intruders!

First , your child has to be of the right frame of mind to 'Take the tuition". Secondly, he has to be serious , does this mean he should not smile or should he have a serious non smiling stark face with tension written in big letters on his forehead? Thirdly , my son should study, study , study , study and then breathe and then get back to studying.  Oh , did I mention here he should also revise , practice, focus and also be motivated if he wants to secure admission in a good prestigious institution of merit? 

Also , it means to be constantly fearing the reprimand of the tutor who in one stroke can finish any spark of happiness in you , where he will say ," Madam ,aapka beta , not serious . He needs to pull up '( does that refer to his jeans or  just pull himself ? in this rat race)  We have forgotten the art of life. Everything is compartmentalized ,accounted for , every breath you take is the tutor teachers. I get up every morning not with kirtan or the God's name but with checking messages from the tutors who is coming at what time , and fro how long!

My faith in HIM is unshakeable but these tutors and their Nostradamus type of predictions where they can foresee is scary. My son's life , his future is not shaped by what I want him to inculcate but by a mixture of tuitions washed down by a funny green liquid called Shankha Pushpi ( I have it on the highest merit that this improves concentration ) fed by a steady diet of food and coaxing and cajoling by promising the moon.

Funny , how the moon figures in my life. I just wish he could charm the tides so life would go back to being innocent and kids would just be kids and not turn out into little robots of tomorrow.

Innocence

What we want from the elections is innocence maintained status quo.

The funny thing is that we don't want to even go into spheres like education , yet we are giving them tablets and laptops . How many children from the villages would be able to use them ? How many would sell them to buy drugs or a bottle from the local shop? Oh ! Stupid of me, how many would actually be released in comparison to the ones shown on paper?  A woman's mind you see , everything just doesn't register. We don't even want to talk about simple things like sanitation ,sewerage  or clean drinking water all that is just not on the radar.After six decades we are still fighting for civil rights which should have been ours , in the largest democracy of the world but all that is just mere hogwash . What we have is a corrupt, inefficient system where  if you know someone, or have a "pull " or have the necessary cash to line the pockets, one can get any work done. The system from the bottom to the top is corrupt. Yes , we have shining leaders, some messiahs who do good for the state but they are largely overshadowed by the leaders of today.

Where vote are bought , franchise sold for money , liquor drugs , or another household favor what can we expect as the representatives.

It is rightly said we choose our leaders, we should not complain about them .We gave them power, sent them to the highest echelons of power and position to represent us so why should we complain?

The twenty something patriot is largely missing, brought alive out of virtual slumber only when a massive protest rally is started that also via the internet. Where has the spark gone? Why is there no feeling amongst them? Why have they become so insensitive to today which cries out for a change? What has happened to the 'zameer ' the jazba which Punjabis were renowned for?

Why has it been replaced by  a society which has the highest number of cruelty towards women, the highest fetecide rates and the largest consumption of drugs and alcohol per capita. The spiralling is immediate , it's not happening in a Tolkein induced fantasy. Nor is the cancer scare , the diabetes and the heart attack scare passing by. These ground reality facts are there to stay, there is no deferring them . 

Why does the voter maintain his innocence ? Why do we want to befooled by a group of politicians who take us for  a ride again and again  delivering little. Yes ,progress is made, development is done but what happened to Punjab?

Instead of the blame-game where they shout and use indecent language at each other why can't they put that aside and show what they  can do . Each side had equal opportunity since Independence. It's not as if the other side hoodwinked the other party and cast its spell. 

When will the Punjabi politician take the higher ground? Seriously , grow up guys.

As a, concerned woman , a mother I don't want my kids to see a Punjab which is barren , desert like  fallen to wrong agricultural policies and a state where drugs an alcohol rate as number one businesses and cancer lurks in every household. I want them to be proud of star which falls back on its heroes just not on paper and as monuments to visit but imbibes the spirit of their magnificence .

A fashionable unfashionable diet

Just imagine my quandary, when I shifted from my pind to my home city temporarily ..I discovered that all the women ( with apologies for a few) never ate food. They picked, nibbled on the food served, were proficient over all the deserts ever known to mankind. They all knew about the finest yummiest cakes and to die for dishes. But , imagine my surprise all of them were following some secret mantra Guru who had there metabolism down to a T . All the women , had tried the different flours , and a thorough analysis had been done over the flour which suited or heaven forbid led to a weight gain. Woe, be upon the flour which led to a weight gain.
The cooks had all become proficient in the words which had been alien to them before aka BRAN!!!
Every woman worth her delectable backside and the carats of her solis ( i  learnt not to use the full form ,mind you ) . Carbs are dangerous enemies, potatoes have been banned( imagine my plight) , mitha' is  aan alien life form, and the lowly dal which is the mainstay of us Indians is not even suppose to come close to one's plate.
I was amazed even milk was not taken , just the dried milk powder , if you please . Milk just added to calories and empty ones. My vocabulary has increased manifold , I know about bran , carbs, all the kinds of fancy names for my greens and the salads. And how could I forget about getting my portions right? Simply being punjabi was out of favor like the current political scenario where Akali bashing was the 'it ' topic.  I am also learning that tea is not just tea but green tea , and no masala tea unless it is a concoction of all the fancy herbs which are sold by the grams. Every woman swears by her number of green tea cups which is converting to this inner glow so desired by all.
Oh, did I mention that one also has to cut down the consumption of tea and coffee? My entry into the fashionable world of dieting got shot  at the first instance when I uttered makki di roti with makhan for breakfast!!
However , I pledged to honestly corrupt myself to diet starting diet right now . Nothing like seizing the moment you see. The women also do not divulge their secrets , they are guarded stronger than the nuke secrets of US , coz' you don't want the other friend to look better, do you?

big city v/s small city

The Aesop fable " The town mouse and Country mouse " charmingly illustrates how a mouse gets tempted to move to the brighter lights of the city ; and highlights that even though it's tempting to envy another person's life from a distance it is rarely as great as it seems from a distance.

Small towns have their charm , quaint , comfortable where on knows the town , the people look familiar , the hangouts are known , you know the people there. It's like a sense of security one has in the back of one's mind. Surinder Dulai ,a NRi who grew in Jalandhar was schooled in Chandigarh and went back to England says the pull of her town, the formative years she spent there are the best ones. A bigger city charms like the eternal seductive mistress who beckons one into her lair persuading , luring with the glamor and lights . Promising all and delivering at a price . A child is asked what he wants to do , the foremost he will say , He wants to move to a bigger city . The charm of a bigger city , glamourous lifestyle grandiose buildings in comparison to the crumbling dusty small towns which are sleepy and beat with a different rhythm . The smaller town/city seems to merge into the landscape with ease while the big city has the kaleidoscope of lights , a night life which is absent and nonexistent in smaller towns . Of course the bigger city beats in terms of education ,employment opportunities, economic security and a well established  infrastructural developments, the civic amenities are also laid out better.

Youngsters all want to move from the old and embrace the new. In fact there exists a superiority complex in big town residents and small city dwellers are made to feel small and the tag of a small city dweller is rubbed in . This thinking is in our minds and it has trickled into our psyche and even has had an affect via media films which shows a small town resident going to the bigger city to make a name for himself and earn his fame and place under the sun.Tv reality shows also highlight  that a small city kid is doing well in the show ; why do we use the prefix big or small ?Are we on the whole encouraging the child or discouraging him with the stigma attached to it?

In these series we explore differences between the infrastructure , development , social values the culture, education , job opportunities, the civc amenities and to a large extent even the manners of the inhabitants.Small town

Big City Versus Small Town Manners: Eye Contact

Making eye contact with strangers is not only a must in a small town, but a requirement. Should you find yourself passing a stranger while walking down a sidewalk, small town manners dictate that you make eye contact. After making eye contact, you may nod, smile, say hello, or any combination of the three.

Big city manners dictate that if you are passing a stranger on the sidewalk (and you do with a high frequency), eye contact is considered an intrusive or rude gesture. There is further protocol for when the sidewalk space you must pass through is narrow and you come in very close proximity to someone you aren't supposed to look at directly. Fussing with your hair, checking your watch or cell phone, and glancing inside your bag are all courteous ways to avoid offending a stranger with your friendly face.

Big City Versus Small Town Manners: Small Talk

Small town manners dictate that you not only greet strangers, but also make small talk when in a position to do so. A curt hello at the grocery store cashier is unacceptable in a small town; instead, you must inquire about your cashier's day and respond in kind. Often, your cashier will take the lead in directing the small talk. For example, "How many cats do you have?" is a standard small-town question when buying copious amounts of cat food.

Big city manners function in the opposite way. It is considered impolite and intrusive to press strangers for personal details, particularly if you're in the service industry. And should you be kind enough to inquire about the nature of your cashier's day, don't be surprised if you get a funny look and no verbal acknowledgement of your question.

Big City Versus Small Town Manners: Ps and Qs

Pleases and thank you's are essentials to exhibiting small town manners. If someone extends a courtesy or performs a service that benefits you in someway, a sincere thank you is necessary. Should you need to ask for something, whether it be the salt across the dinner table or directions to the ladies' room, your request needs to include a please.

While pleases and thank you's haven't completely disappeared from big city manners, they certainly aren't as essential to survival like in a small town. Should it be convenient for you to do so, you may please or thank someone if you feel the urge to do so. However, blessing a sneezing stranger won't win you any cool points in the big city.

Big City Versus Small Town Manners: Hospitality

Living in a small town means that extending hospitality is an integral part of social manners. Should someone grace you with her presence in your home, you are responsible for fetching your guest whatever they need in terms of food, drink, entertainment, and anything else your guest may like for her comfort. Small town manners dictate that you do this as naturally as breathing.

Living in a big city means you'll do less daily entertaining in your home, but you'll have more overnight guests. After all, your spacious 200 square foot studio apartment is cheaper than a hotel. Expect people you barely know to call you, announce excitedly they're coming to town and can't wait to see you, and then say, "It's okay if I stay at your place, right?" in a way that's not really a question.

Big city hospitality means letting people crash on your floor, and that's about it. Should you attempt to feed and entertain guests in the same manner you would small town guests, you'll quickly gain a reputation as a smothering host. 

Big City Versus Small Town Manners: Personal Space

In a small town, taking the seat next to a stranger in a movie theater is a cardinal offense, but often a necessity in crowded big city theaters. In a small town, there is generally more available space for everything, from parking your car to coffee house seating. Small town manners dictate you give people their desired amount of personal space-there's always enough to go around, so it's not terribly inconvenient to spread out.

In a big city, however, space is at a premium. Heaven forbid you try to park an SUV in a paltry Rupees10 per hour parking space, because the 27 cars behind you are vying for the same space and can make do with less. It's not uncommon for people in a big city to not move out of your way on the sidewalk, because it's just expected you can make do with your six inches of personal sidewalk. Should you veer wildly around people on the sidewalk to give them the Midwestern three feet of personal space, you'll be perceived not as a well-meaning stranger, but a jackass who never learned to walk right.

Most big city folks cope with the lack of personal space by not acknowledging the people nearby. When someone sits next to you on the subway, it's not okay to start a conversation, make prolonged eye contact, or smile. In this way, personal space is created psychologically if not physically.

That doesn't mean big city people don't appreciate personal space; it just means personal space is more of a luxury than an everyday thing. Should you walk into a bar with only a few other patrons on a Monday afternoon, don't immediately sit next to someone just because you think you should. 

Small city and big city difference will always remain ,what remains to be seen is the assimilation amongst the city"s to have unity in diversity for the nation to progress .

Next week  how does development play a role in the city structure and advancement.

Ravneet Sangha

Smile

I just realized the most important thing of all , people are scared of expecting anything new. One walks ( I mention this every time, put it down to my increasing years and senility approaching), and I have this habit of smiling not like a buffoon but just a smile.

The hostility and the surprise has got me thinking since the last few days . Why are people scared of accepting a smile? Is it alien or are they just suspicious? When did life become so complicated that smiling took a thought?Isn't it a spontaneous reaction? One smiles at birds playing in mid-air, squirrels running up the tree in search for the elusive nut or little kids practicing karate in all seriousness. Old  men clad warmly but bravely walking with a mission , slowly and slowly putting one step ahead of the other to keep their joints moving and to someway quell the date with the maker. The old ladies chatting away in the middle of the park trying desperately to fit in more conversation before they face empty homes and even emptier human beings.

I have seen , no felt the hostility when I pass the younger generation . They just don't know how to react ! Should they smile , ignore me or just walk with their nose in the air ?

 I wonder , I wonder where did the simple pleasures go? Meanwhile, I shall continue to smile ,as I know nothing else.

Seriousness and the art of maintaining a straight face

In all seriousness, after  a great deal of thought and using my limited brain power which is diminishing at a faster rate than the tigers due to undue stress of tuitions , crazy admission schedules and the whims and fancies of Kapil Sibal's planning for the students of tomorrow. I was told to become serious in my style of writing? Structure , content , format and all the terminology which is used by writers of today.
The biggest problem is that I write because I wish to , not to fill a column ,not to earn a remuneration ,not to put my views across like the constant election droning on the regional PTC channel .
I am  who I am , someone who feels passionately about the topic which touches me the most and I express the way I can . I have no claims to any knowledge in english or the art of  polite writing.
I wonder where the p's and q's are used or what should be the grammar or the lack of .
Oh on second thoughts maybe should listen and become serious , that is people do not expect blogs which insinuate in a covert manner anything which is not plain faced.
By the way did not mean anything by using the words plain faced too. You dont know when they are gong to knock you down by saying that one is sexist . oops used the word again .
Of course , have used my favorite google search to know what is a straight face ... and just had an eureka moment , that straight face is what our erstwhile politicians have all the day .
Sorry not possible with me .

why do we vote?

Why do we vote?

Do we vote because we are following what our party credo is? Do we vote for the man ,the party or the manifesto or as someone said we vote according to the drawing room politics, to endlessly extoll virtues of our leaders. 

Does the wide franchisee of Punjab believe that one party whose main credo is panth, development and saving us from the evils of the national party will be the deliverer? Or do we believe that the knight in the shining armor will save us from the misfortunes, will the new founded baby of politics which is challenging the might and dares to dream large? Is he following Gandhisim, mixed with a Obama type attitude but recently trying to woo with a newer Kolaveri Di version? Has the sophisticate turned into a plebeian ?

Then we have the national Party which is saving us from the wrath of all the mother of scams but I wonder when they will set their personal house in order ? Of course they all look towards the centre ; which is their personal mecca for dictates .

I wonder when will we have politicians who will worry about the state ,be it Punjab, Haryana, or any of the other 26 states of the country? The sadness , despair, the gloom of the aam adami needs to wiped out , not by a long study done by stuffy bureaucrats who know nothing about  ground reality and then have a dinosaur pile of files and findings which will sit in the front at first and then be relegated to the back to gather dust and then one day be reduced to hold gram chanas sold at the Lake.  Did I mention here that the process here is so slow that generations of the aam aadmi will come and go but the amendment will not come and go.  I am not here for a revolution or a military take over . India, made up of Punjab and the  other states is a gift to be cherished and to be saved for the future and not to be plundered and looted like the earlier invaders.

This time around in the history books we won't even have the convenient Brits to blame. 

Ravneet Sangha 

Facebook groups

Our world has changed drastically . We live in two kinds of worlds the real factual one which is where we live in and coexist and the other being the virtual one where we escape to explore the mysteries of the universe , where there are no boundaries , where we all have different identities . This virtual world has encompassed our lives and without its constant background subtle presence we all feel incomplete. It is estimated that on an  average a person spends thirteen hours /per week online. Online here does not mean the person becomes horizontal or is plugged into a circuit . Tamar Lewin , author of " If your kids are Awake, they are probably online" says that they are online around seven and a half hours consuming media. And this does not include the hour and a half that youth spend texting or the half hour they talk on their  cell phones. And as they are surfing the internet listening to music that packs an average eleven hours of media context into that .We all dream and envisage an ideal utopian world where there would be no problems, no ills of society ,a Ram-Rajya ,a satyug of sorts and this is what we strive to achieve at all times. 

Initially we used to all sit around the corner tree  , a platform raised where everyone would come close to discuss all city , town ,village matters concerning socio-economic matters to one and all. In fact this has got translated to the virtual world where groups are made keeping in mind a common characteristic which binds them together . It could be regional,local, food based , fashion , jewelry , a love for ethnic wear , selling produce to the world . The social groups aim to make the world into an utopian world by discussing what ails us , not realizing that it is us humans which make the real world too, by trying to change the world in the virtual world but ignoring and procrastinating in reality we just sink deeper into the mire. The social groups which are created are all for a purpose. Facebook taking advantage of social connections has started Facebook groups which easily facilitates the start of a group ( Formation). This is aimed at keeping social circles more closely bonded on the site than ever before. 

Google's Paul Adams had posted on a  slideshow that social networks don't adequately bridge the gap between online and real life. The new Facebook group is a great communication tool which is better than any other thing as it is a SOCIAL SOLUTION  that takes advantage of real world connections and has a common attraction to join the group ; so as to be heard to voice an opinion. Thanks to the networking sites we have seen governments fall like Egypt, Tunisia , Libya where revolutions  sparked and democracy has flourished. 

Coming closer home in Punjab keeping in mind the mood , a group was started by Dr Nirmal Dhallu, an NRI from England ( we see here there are no barriers , physical or geographical ) called Punjab Siasat .. It as he defines ,' An all party group where like minded people come together to discuss amicably socio political discussions without mudslinging or taking strong sides . In keeping with his british background his wit comes forefront and he says" Lets keep the Pigs clean '.

According to him he started this group keeping in mind the love he has for his homeland , his state to which he has ties and feels that much needs to be down to bring it out from nepotism , and evils of corruption and to address the real issues rather than get spiraled down to vote based politics. His group is represented by people from all walks of life and is a curious mix of bureaucrats, farmers, a large number of NRI's who are the strongest  vocalists and a motley mix of Punjabis. As one of them puts it ,'that Facebook is the 118th constituency of punjab aptly won by one party.

What is interesting is the humor of the group where satire in the form of one liners, puns on the election symbols, and hijacking of the newest jingle is foremost ; there is also a serious thought over the ails of punjab.

In fact , if the procrastination  translated into action ( real -life ) we would see a beginning to the end of the ill -wills ; rather than just the loud bashing and the empty promises.

Face book groups are a social movement which are slowly and slowly becoming a revolution , a sign of the times.

Ravneet Sangha

Its easy not being a politician these days

Its not easy being a politician in these days..

This is a full fledged business ; one has to be so competent in this profession . It is so difficult in these trying times to serve the common singh and common kaur ( SIMPLY PUNJABI creation) . Do they even realize how difficult it is to get the whiter than white kurta pajama ? And then to have it stitched according to the latest style of Muktsari or Hoshiarpuri way? Good tailors are a breed to themselves. They are egoistical, whimsical and charge the roof. In fact one netaji said to another it was easier for my wife to get her clothes done than mine. There was such a long waiting at the tailors.  There is also a  secret consensus in the SAD , Congress and SM to get a MFN to Pakistan  as Lahore could meet the demand in a jiffy .

And then to talk about the turbans. Oh, the intricacies involved, the styles , the colors hues, it was as if we are witnessing the full power of the palate unleashed on to these gentle eyes. This winter we have seen hues ranging from the darkest blues ( Akali-dom) to the pastels of the monarchy with the contrast under turban to the revival of the yellow ( courtesy the former FM ) .  The mills and the dyers made killing last year by selling Rang de Basanti color to the masses . Of course his dramatic switch to the softer more sophisticated cream has everyone wondering where his leanings are.

 Also , the Brit in us does not die , we all are the singlehanded consumer of the Pringle wear , it is regimental to wear the waistcoat in black or navy to contrast with the pristine white , and maybe if one is older the brown overcoat , as the seniors wear . Of course, our national party scoffs at the peasantry party and wears the finest Pashmina / Kanni/ jamavar shawls in the evenings , there are whispers of the turbans being dyed to match the colors and they all strut around in their finery prouder than peacocks.

Oh , did I mention the  footwear , from the exclusive Nike to the sleek loafers to the juttis ? We witness all and forgive all those who seek votes on the name of Punjab. 

Women do have it easier , by the way .

Ravneet Sangha