Punjab and the Dodo

Nothing matches the famous Punjabi hospitality and its true on both sides of the border. The infamous line that split one cultural nation into two has affected the Punjabis most, we lost out on our brethren, life, memories and our roots. However, the spirit remains same across the border and even here. Come, winter as temperature drops, wedding invitations start coming and the cards start piling up with delicacies to match. Every year the wedding card companies try to out do each other with the invites, the sweets accompanying them and the wording, color. The bigger, the better is the box, sometimes you are transported to the ethnic colors of the soil to the pastels of the Raj and the roses, the mithai can be the good old barfi, ladoo (how I still love the old fashioned moti boondi laddoo) to the dry fruits, to the crystallized fruits, chocolates, to the green tea and honey. A new one this year and well thought of keeping in with the ever-present weight problems of the Punjabi tribe.

However, in recent years the weddings have become bigger blingier, and a parade on ostentatious because if one didn’t spend what will people say? The duniya and the lok, not be confused with the kejriwal spiel here is what drives 90 percent of the money spent at these weddings. I n fact, I was just calculating if we started to spend so much in giving back to the society or our state, I swear Sukhbir ji we would be topping the charts not in the Economic Index of the country but even of neighboring countries. How about if we do that for a SAARC convention? Think big is my motto, always.

In fact, at the last one, I was eavesdropping on two society matrons who had so much base and foundation on (not talking about building a house) that they had an outward projection from their face and their eyelashes were curled just like Cruella and her perfect red lips. They were discussing numbers in code and the names sounded like as if they were the newest IS recruits, Ruby Woo, Mac danger, 30, Devil, and then I was told by my sister they were numbers of red lipsticks with a slight purple tint so as to match the Indian skin. We apparently have a yellow pigment that needs to be offset with this purple!

Have you ever had your colors done? Growing up, I knew the primary ones and secondary ones and red was red, blue was blue and green was green. Now there is a whole palette where teal, aqua blue, mint green, marsala, and fuchsia, and tea rose pink or the old rose pink, and the saffron, mango peach are broken into sub sections. White itself was white, now this safedi ki jhnakaar is the politician white, ivory , cream , off white, the white which has a touch of blue, whiter than white, muted white, fierce white , that one can be confused.

And, heavens forbid if you are like me, an Akali sympathizer you area cornered for favoring and wearing the akali blue over the congress blue worn with a contrast shawl in colors that shock and blind.

If colors defined that and us would solve the problems, how about the childhood game of innie minnnie mo.

I get drubbed so many times, and get drawn into the most insane conversations by the high society, drawing room, highly secure activists who do not venture out of their posh houses, over secure by the yearly theka (lease money) from far off lands which carve out their status as being a Malwa Sardar or a Majhail and sometimes from Doab. These lines divide and rule us invisibly!

Weddings are fun, in a way as I get to see who science works especially physics. The temperature drops and you would think we women would be well clad, no, no my dear the shawl is displayed on the left hand, carefully opened, crumpled and held by the bejeweled fingers with a hint of the art novae cuff and gravity holds everything up.  I am also really impressed with the fact that gravity really works.

I mean, I did classes and all and try to remember everything but gravity really work for em! Cleavages, back cleavage (I’m sure there is a word for that) and display is there, and I’m no Victorian prude but when is blatant display be the by word? Elegance, less is more and sophistication does not call for all this.

I could write a chapter, verse and sonnet on one of the blouses where for the heavens I could not figure out whether it was a sheer, nude or lined or just precariously worn.

Well, the suit wearing, grey hair in a bun, salwar suit with no fancy schmancy speaks out volumes to others who think I’m the dodo.

Extinct, you see.

Yes , we all can afford this , but it’s a section of the society that gets caught up in this power display and then the debt trap starts . We were all a society that helped each , yes we have larger than life personalities, and jazba but this naked display of wealth is so tasteless and a waste of money that can be used somewhere ! I know you're going to say why do you bother ... well to make things work collectively the onus has to start somewhere.