The Life line

I was II was so ready for school, oh! Silly it was not the Sarkaari School that I went to, but the evening school I went to, where Madam ji taught everything from English to basic math to keeping myself clean. In fact, following her and the regular lectures she gave me, and us all, I did not even smell during those days…

Rani kept on muttering non –stop to her cousin from Amritsar. She wanted to take her along with her, and she kept on saying come along, hurry up, we can’t be late. Comb your hair, plait it, we can’t leave it open, and wash your hands; she checks the nails otherwise worms go in your stomach.

Sunita, was scared, excited and hoping Madamji would not say anything to her. She had just come visiting for a few days, till her mother could borrow money or find some work to tide over their difficulties. Her chunni didn’t match, it had a hole, her salwar was also getting short her; her ankles showed, she would have to tie it a little lower but that meant her waist would show if she wasn’t careful. The kameez was also a bit tight, snug and frayed from one side. Why was she poor? Why could she not have new clothes and also have the shiny earrings the girls in Aabadpura wore? She did not know any English but she could say her name in English and she could write her name and also could even tell the name of fruits and colors. Rest, she had forgotten.

They both hurried to the school, it was in the open, and she entered the gates with the rest of the children. Everyone seemed cleaner, shinier, and sharper here. She felt so out of place, her chappals were dirty, feet were cracked and her nail paint was all chipped. What would she do? She put her hair back with a quick wet finger. Rani was walking in with a swagger and she sat down on the grass. She sat behind her, hoping no one would notice her.

Madam ji came walking in and saying Good evening. Sunita just fell in love with her, there and then. The pretty lady who smiled and asked about everyone and who was just taking attendance when she spotted her.

Who are you?

Madam ji, she is my sister from Ambarasar, said Rani.

Amritsar, not Ambarasar, said the teacher.

Sunita, stood up, knowing now she would be asked to leave, dying with shame, and blushing a red, pulling her shirt down, knowing everyone was looking at her. At that moment she felt so vulnerable and as about to cry when she heard Madam ji say, its ok, baith jao…

She quickly sat down, sinking into the ground.

The class was wonderful and she learnt things she never knew about. One hour just flew and she knew the entire math.

She just couldn’t wait till tomorrow.

Later in the evening, when Rani kept on showing off her English words and her sentences to everyone, Sunita kept ton dreaming about what the Madam had said. She too can learn English and go to college and get a job. She would not be like her mother, she would not need to work in the fields, she would not be stupid, illiterate, she would not be made a fool of…Sunita sat with her mother looking at her hands, knew that the life line which curved on her hand meant the change was happening now.

Rani and Sunita woke up early in the morning, ran to the fields before anyone could spot them. And then clutching their chunnis came back home. Sunita, reminded Rani to wash her hands. She came near her mother and hesitatingly asked her haltingly , Maaji has anything worked out? Her mothers brother was their last hope for some money or work  as her father had lost his job after one of his repeated drinking sprees . They owed money to everyone in the village and the sarpanch had warned her that if she did not have money to return her small home would be taken away . Sunita , wondered where her father was , he had disappeared after beating her mother and blaming her for everything , to being a kalmuhi , to being a woman who could not bear any sons , or the favorite one , she didn’t bring enough dowry with her . Her mother , banto looked as if her life had beaten from her, listless hair , vacant eyes, bruised cheeks and she wore clothes that had been washed so many times that the print and color had all faded to a muddy color …..

She never smiled or laughed anymore. Sunita , shook her agin , waiting for a response .Keep Quiet, we will know by the evening , your uncle has gone to the sardaar’s house.

She knew now not to say anything but while her time .

The day passed quickly , but then time stood still and the clock hands would not move to 4:30pm. She started getting ready , as she was wearing Rani’s shirt ( she had borrowed it ). She wanted to look nice for teacher ji and had also learnt her English again and again . She was going to study and study and she was going to make every one proud and get a job and they would never be poor or owe anyone any money .

Around 4 pm her uncle  came back and he shouted Banto , Banto ..Her mother came running and said haanji, what happened?

Suddenly her mother, called her . She went outside all dressed up , clean , hair in two pigtails and Rani had her books all ready with her. She, immediately said , I have no time, mother hurry up! And tell me what happened .

Beta, all our problems are solved, we have a job. Sunita was very happy. At last, everything was falling into place . All was fine. She smiled and said , ok , mother .

You have to go live in the sardaar’s house and be a companion to his daughter. They will give you food , clothes and look after you and have given me an advance of rs 5,000 . All our problems are solved.

Oh! You look very nice, meri Sunita . Bhaji , she can go in the morning . Go , go with Rani and you are so lucky , now you can go live in the house and you are truly my life line.

But , mother I wanted to study .

Manto !!

http://sikhchic.com/books/lost_and_found_saadat_hasan_manto

Manto's Musings

Manto’s Musings

I had heard of Manto in the passing as being the author of Toba Tek Singh, one of his most acclaimed plays /writings. But, had never bothered to read him, as one is always arrogant in youth, ignoring and reading the Western authors. However, a month back reading about him and the fact that he was not going to be taught anymore, made me conspicuous about my ignorance. Sadat Hasan manto is one of the most controversial, misunderstood authors. It is virtually impossible to get his work in the stores except for some weak translations that do not do justice to his passionate style of writing.

I tried to get his books, appealing in my social networking mainstay group, where I was met with, what ,whom, and was told to read fiction and to get a life. The other option was to reach out simultaneously to my Facebook friends, and well answers came.

I cannot thank one of them enough who found the books and sent a courier. Needless to say, I realized I was ignorant and lacking in any knowledge. His books take you to the times of the partition and the chilling encounters of the time of 1947 when humans were killed just because they followed a religion. Discrimination was only on the basis of Sikhs, Muslims. The carnage that followed is one of the worst in mankind second to the Jews.  You and I cannot even begin to pen down what happened or put a price. His style of writing, the empathy and the fact that he highlights goodness of human being in the eye of the worst human suffering makes us believe in the goodness of humanity. However, in the same compassionate way he shocks one to the core with his naked and chilling rendition of a father who is sexually molesting his own daughter who had escaped his clutches to be on the other side. Its like the savior was the enemy while the real enemy lived within. This story was so powerfully written and the imagery so effective that it made me cry and stop reading for a few days. And, that has never happened. Reading for me is akin to breathing. His impact was so huge that whenever I would try and discuss the story I would cry .

Manto, in his original style strips man to his basic primeval self where lies an evil, feral animal who lets his basic, baser instincts over take him. And, then he surprises one  with a classic love story.

Oh, Manto how misunderstood you are! And, that too in the state where you were born ,he who protested against laws, bans  has been banned because he is obscene . More is shown in the advertising industry and we go through enough horrors everyday that are not banned by the moral policing but he is .  I wish he was read openly so that todays generations would know his style and how much we can learn from the pain and horrors of the partition where a land was butchered and blood ran free just because one did not confirm to the religion of the other. Ironical, that the masters started the religions to end the differences.

Every story is like unraveling him and the more I read, the more I feel that one should learn Urdu.

Its rightly said life is a learning curve and a process that goes on every day.

Bhutan Diaries-1

A trip to Bhutan cleared up a lot of myths for me. This small Himalayan kingdom has made happiness a way of life. They are happy with the life they lead.  In our daily life, materialistic things, deadlines, the stress level, a desire to achieve, acquire, to attain and to covet more and more drive us. It is how we have become. However, the pace in this tiny country is driven by simple pleasure and contentment .Its amazing that how a country in the last thirty years has changed its thought process in unity to happiness; where the goal is to preserve its culture traditions, its roots and to replace the economic structure with happiness.

We these days use emoticons to denote, happiness and to show our pleasure all the time but we do we ever understand what it means? To transform oneself, de colonizes to change the mindset in such a way to completely then surrender to the way of life as said by the masters. For them, happiness is in every action, in every breath and the way they are humble to every living being, be it a human or nature.

It is this what makes them truly successful. The air is slow, serene and the pace is soothing taking us through its motions. We were a group of 13, an unlucky number for some but lucky for us and at the Cheri Monastery where when one prays and asks for a wish it is granted. But, the beauty was the way when the monk explained why we fold our hands, and bring them first to the forehead, then to our lips and then to the middle of our body, followed by prostrating on the floor with hands splashed wide open on the floor.

He said we first fold our hands to the middle of the forehead as we center our wish to the mind and focus on it clearly and succinctly. Then  we bring the folded hands to our lips, putting the wish into words and forming the sentences and lastly we draw our hands to the middle of our body , where lies the life force, the soul that resides in us.

I found this whole explanation so simple, so beautiful and it was as if all the pieces of the jigsaw pieces of the puzzle were falling in place. Why are we not ever taught this? Why is religion kept apart from us, to be in formal structure lines, to scare, to intimidate?

The inner secret is to have it a part of us in daily motion. And, it manifests in all big and small things.

Women and the times

A Bengaluru girl whose Facebook page and matrimonial advertisement went viral when rebelled her parents who had put her onto the marriage market. 80 percent of women go thorough this parade where parents put them through an embarrassing parade where there being fair (the biggest advantage), homely, obedient are the biggest virtues, oh and before I forget the she is always convent educated, soft spoken and is a great cook and the cherry on the cake she is of an adjusting nature.

 In short, she is a cow.

The young software engineer rebelled against this and set up a webpage and also made a matrimonial CV that was anything but the usual. She wanted someone who would accept her for being small, dorky with glasses and someone who was definitely not marriage material. She wants someone who wouldn’t ask her to grow her hair!

Why do we as a society expect so much in totality from the girls? Are we marrying our sons to life partners and companions who love them for what they are, faults and warts and all or do we want glorified, showpieces who fit the bill of statuesque women, tall, fair, beautiful, well versed in making a home. It is the mindset of the society that puts subtle, but such fierce pressure on the women to perform.

However, the younger generation is changing, her webpage has had 2, 30,000 hits on her page and also dozens of marriage proposals plus a few from non-Indians who wonder if they are eligible.

As, a society now we are going through a time that is rapidly changing but we are not evolving the way our masters wanted us to, in this rapid growth we want girls to be educated, to hold professional jobs, to augment the total income but we want to oppress them and want to be homemakers, pushed to the hilt. Why is that we want them to fit the mold? The mindset is such that boys are corrupted and as the rapist in the infamous Nirbahaya case says, Girls who are decent do not roam at night. The girl was asking for it as she resisted.

This mindset is the reflection of the men who have been conditioned by their parents to believe they are superior, just because of their sex and have a right to be right.

An oxymoron of a society that preaches itself hoarse to save the girl, educate the girl, to teach a girl is to teach a society, to save the true wealth of a society.

Aren’t these mere words that just are mere platitudes to be a part of the social campaign and a public relations exercise?

Our real progress is not by Swacch Abhiyaan, or cleaning the Ganges, or by cleaning the streets of filth, it is the filth that lies in between us, our mindset that is so polluted, vilified that needs ‘ shuddhi karan! Don’t think, just because the stock market is zooming or the repo rate has been cut to boost the economy, that one can build more homes, have a better life style, if the women is battered, bruised and not given her worth, who are you going to enjoy the home with?

In fact, All Izz Not Well, admitting is the first step and then change will come. Till then the MNC’s manipulate deceive, dupe the girls into thinking the fair and lovely whiteness is the ticket to safety and freedom. My dear, you will still be killed, burnt, thrown acid at, aborted, raped, hung, murdered, just because the Creator made you a woman.

Being fair, rich or poor nothing saves you.

The Tea Bag

The whole country is scared with a swine flu attack and everywhere I see people wearing masks, covering themselves from this epidemic. Also, my whatsapp keeps on sending me these forwards from well meaning friends telling me what to do and what not to do.

Last week, I started my evening school after a long winter break, and it was heartening to see the village children to turn up, back with their eager smiles ready to receive than expect anything. I started my class after exchanging pleasantries and knowing about what they had been up to over the winter. Well, class started and I noticed that all of them were wearing these different colored bows. I shrugged it off thinking, that maybe it was the new fashion in my pind (village).  They always follow some fashion and then they all ape it!

One of the young girls, came up to me in the midst of the lesson and at a closer distance realized it was a piece of string that suspiciously had a tea bag in the center wrapped colorfully.

I asked her what it was and she said her mother had made it; it contained a powdered mixture of camphor and small elaichi.  And, then pandemonium!

Every child, boy, girl, teachers, parents, grandparents and the cows, buffaloes were wearing this tabeez/ amulet to ward off swine flu.

Apparently, the village quack sorry Doctor in residence, had started this get rich quick scheme to play on everyone’s fears. The mix was available at all the village shops for Rs 30 for the small one and it went up to Rest 300 for the largest one that was bought for animals!

I burst out laughing. We, all are so susceptible to anyone who can give us a quick miss to illness and bad luck. Logic fails and the mind tricks us into believing in these wacky ideas. The boys wore it on their forearms, the girls in longer threads around their necks, the little ones on their wrists; and oh! The secret was to inhale it after every couple of hours.

The children also told me, that their teachers in government schools had little bowls in class with the powdered mixture to prevent themselves from swine flu.

Its interesting how the children even knew the statistics to how many people had been killed by swine flu and how it was going to kill more. Ask them about their subjects or any other fact , I always get the silent treatment .

I wondered whether the cardamons used were original or just dirt . My simpletons were being taken for a ride and Dr. Sonu was making good money ! Any fever, runny nose , cough is  being treated as most critical  with utmost care  here. The village folk are simple people who still have the streak of innocence that is missing in us jaded lot.

Ps: Never a dull moment here; today at 3 am , the entire village was out in the streets as an earthquake was coming.  Everyone was out in the streets ; and that is a story for another day.