dear Bharatiya nark

Dear Bharatiya Nari,

In keeping with the recent events, like last week, last month, yester day and the year before and the gruesome acts that happen on us in the name of nari’ism and leading on men to be such fiends. I mean they never want to do this to us, but it just happens. Men are such sweet gullible, naïve women; it is us who tempt them leading them on from the first drop of the apple and the fig leaf. Men are such simpletons.

Women, admit it we are the clever ones. Don’t be shy, don’t be modest.

I have list of pointers to avoid rape, sex, molestation, and assault.

1.    Please only eat slowmein, no chowmein.  According to our superior sex, chow Mein releases and makes the blood go faster (please picture noodles swimming in the bloodstream) and thus makes us go bananas. We start running the streets saying rape us, please rape us. Noodles have this effect. Please Note; nothing like this has happened in the Far East, it is just isolated to us Indians.

2.    Women are under the control of mobile phones, the radiation so emitted makes us exhibitionist.

3.    The clothes we wear, skirts, jeans, incites men to tear the clothes to rape us, they can’t help. They nothing better, their mothers never taught them anything better. We need to wear Indian outfits only. No western clothes. Women, start wearing cholis like the devis along with the ghagras or the saris. Apparently they rebuff men.

4.    If you happen to climb the lift with a man, please check it has a camera before hand. Otherwise, men want you to climb stairs only, the cardio exercise; will keep you hale, fit and hearty! Architects please build stairs that go round and round with no dark corners.

5.    If a man is touching you obscenely please, don’t say N o. they understand the opposite. A yes might make sense to their thick skull.

6.    The best one is yet to come, please call him Bhaiya ji chod do , aanchal mera. This works according to the religious pundits. And you guessed it they are men !

7.    Women , if he throws acid, sticks up a bottle up your intestine, wants to kill you , hang you because you didn’t pay the dowry just allow him ,he has to have his way . he is a spoilt brat .

8.    In the end, what ever I have missed , please add to my list .

God , allowed us to be born but Man decided other wise. When will we stop playing God with life and the planet ?