chronicles of the misdemeanors of memsa'ab

CHRONICLES OF THE MISDEMEANORS OF MEMSA'AB

The paper boldly splashed headlines"LIMITED EDITION of sarees by HERMES' and that is exactly what she zeroed on. OMG ,WTF !!!! the day she missed her wake-up alarm for her morning training, and this is what had to be announced.This must have been the closely guarded top-secret project which had escaped her ears…hmmm.She pushed away the lightly bandaged eys laced with Bihaku the miracle regenerative eye cream from Japan which was known to stem the fine lines which were creeping in. Last night's party coupled with the amazing new concoctions and the essential me-time with hubby dear which was mandatory to keep everything smooth and on line in today's marriage .

Oh! Why did she have to wake up late , and on this day , she wondered calculated how many of her friends would have read this announcement? How many of them were speed- dialing to Pune ? And on top of that making the flight connection to Pune form Delhi? Blocked roads, people walking in solidarity with Anna , why couldn't they listen to the old man , as if rampant corruption would end , corruption of the mind needed to weeded via health , education. Dismissing these thoughts which had been her ideals but were now buried under layers of artifice, materialism she thought of her strategy .She needed to be ready , arrange everything and be not the first to enter the Ista Hotel but the third , fourth person. One needed to pace everything, slowly ,not be an eager beaver and jump like an overexcited teenager on hormones!

Wretched designers, as if the waiting for the BIRKIN wasn't torture enough and now the saree. Here she had just bought the new mIchael Kors collection for the coming winter and on top of that LFW had just finished . She had had to make her purchases there to keep face. But, she so needed the saree . How in the world was she going to justify it to Ajay? He, who did turn a blind eye over her shopping but this month was going to be the mother of all months! Well, a dinner , quality time, extra attention and being home for a few days would solve that.Suddenly the shift from size zero to a woman with curves had dramatically altered her wardrobe.. Musing over her boiled eggs, cherries( the right kind of red) she thought about the irony.You are born with the right kind of boobs which are perfect ( thanks to gravity) and then you make them disappear and look like a ironing board due to the dictates of fashion and then fashion the worst mistress of all demands you have a cleavage . the nicely tanned , smooth with a hint of coquetry and allure , not too deep , not too wide. No wonder the plastic surgeon's wife had all the colors of the Chanel bags!! She was in running with the Japanese woman over her obsession with Chanel.

First things first….She needed to think , plan and book the next flight out first flight in (FOFI) reverse order though! Her degree was being used not to plan , to strategize a takeover cunningly but to plan a shopping trip . Such was the twist of fate.

She called PJi ( Aka Pappu Singh) who was the biggest jugaadi in North India and told him what she wanted, the time frame . Calling the chappies to check on the running of the house and making the essential subtle changes she got around to planning her outfit for the power shopping spree today. The casual look,with the new white linen shirt with just the right carat diamnond earrings and a huge obscene emerald ring to balance and to make the statement. The latest outrageously bright colored bag from Miu-Miu and the soft shoes from Tory Burch , and she was ready to face the day.She so loved to plan her outfits meticulously to project the right image.

Memsaab, memsaab, Sunita shouted. Stop shouting, whats the matter? , she said. Sa'ab is trying to call you and he says you are not picking up your cell. Uff,

What did Ajay want? She speed dialed him and waited for him to take his call. He  picked up and told her in his monotone , speaking in fron tof his flunkies saying, ten people are coming over lunch . Get it done, with appropriate gifts etc.. Get the details from Pji. And the phone disconnected. She fumed , wondering what this was , just to be on the receiving end and to function as a glamour hostess filling in the conversations at the right moment. What a life? where did all the loving, asking or finding out about her plans go? Was she supposed to just drop off Mother Earth to be subservient and to comply? It irritated her made her angry but what was the course it just left her sad frustrated and in the end she just gave in for the larger picture as her mom called it.

Not letting her self wallow, she called trusty old Pji who was the real mistress of her marriage , one who was the conduit between her and Ajay and was the reason why it had all the cracks and fissures but was still glued together . Society, izzat  , family name all were such heavy weights that they actually stifled the marriage without letting it bloom or even letting it breath..

No way was she going to miss her Saree . The best and trusted excuse was a gynecologist appointment, everything was justified on the altar of a female problem. Smiling to herself she called the cook and gave him instructions  for a balanced meal complete with a gastronomical desert which was her signature .She ordered  corporate gifts from Archana who knew what she wanted , specifying the budget for silver coins embellished with the company name.

Informing Pji that she was going first to the doctors and then might go ahead with her programme . Dr. Simrita was an old family friend who would tear her apart at the slightest nuance but would climb over a mountain to see if she was well.She was the only true confidante' she had in this false overly bright society she belonged to. She called Simrita and told her what she planned to, and in return Sim gave her a lecture over her excessive spending and trying to fill in her time by excesses . Simrita, was saying,' You need to stop going on these astronomical shopping trips' there is no way Ajay will start noticing you fro the woman you are"You are just a trophy wife to him and its easy to pander to you by just paying the credit card bills.Stop this , nonsense. Do you think buying a limited shimited saree is going to make you more appealing to him? Someone who regiments time with you is not going to recognize you if start wearing sarees or end up naked infront of him!  Her tirade continued and she intervened and said , " please Sim , you are the only one, who can help me. And that was what it took.

She got ready , and boarded her flight where she was sitting next to this obnoxious looking obese oiled businessman who kept on trying to nudge into her space. The letch, wouldn't stop looking at her, did her shirt say, Look at me I'm available? She wondered why men had only one thing in mind, just sex and no finesse'.She turned her head to the other side and waited for the time to while away. 

When a sticky finger starting to touch her gently on one side she called the stewardess asking for a seat change . Hearing her adamant and forceful request she was sent to sitting two seats in the front.She moved forward looking forward to the next thirty minutes of quiet and solitude where she would gather her thoughts and also in solace question and face herself ( which she never admitted)